


Eventide | Twilight Re-Written

by GentleOpheliac



Series: Eventide Series [1]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Bella Grew Up In Forks, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, but kind of?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 09:43:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentleOpheliac/pseuds/GentleOpheliac
Summary: After witnessing a life-altering tragedy, fourteen year-old Isabella Swan made the sudden decision to flee her small, gloomy hometown of Forks, Washington and settle somewhere far away from the memories that kept her up at night. Three years later, after her impulse-driven mother decides to elope with a minor-league baseball player, a reluctant Bella is forced to pack her bags once again and return to the home she left behind. Once she arrives, she is immediately forced to make attempts at reconciling with her past, all while dealing with the reality of high school drama, mysterious new acquaintances, and a string of murders that keep getting closer and closer to home.This is a canon-divergent rewrite of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer! Please pay attention to the tags, as they will be updated regularly as the story progresses.





	1. Chapter I.

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This chapter may be triggering to those that suffer from depression. There are no outright mentions of self-harm, but Bella does tend to talk negatively about herself and engage in some pretty self-destructive habits. As the story progresses, I will do my best to detail situations that may potentially be triggering without giving away the entire story, so just be cautious and read the A/N at the beginning of every chapter!

**Chapter I.**

all we do is drive  
all we do is think about the feelings  
that we hide  
~  
Halsey | Drive

* * *

The average flight from Phoenix, Arizona to Port Angeles, Washington is approximately three and a half hours long. That’s two-hundred and ten minutes to come to terms with the terrible, life-altering mistake that was boarding that aircraft in the first place.

It was freezing inside the plane’s main cabin, and the jacket I was wearing didn’t do much in the way of keeping my flimsy body warm. I was shocked that the sound of my teeth chattering hadn’t awoken the sleeping old woman next to me: She had spent at least twenty minutes telling me about her grandchildren in New Jersey, so it had been a huge relief when she drifted off about halfway through our flight. For this reason, I hadn’t bothered to move away when her grey head shifted to rest on my shoulder.

_ **Stupid.** _

I slid the cover on the window up a few inches, watching as the aircraft broke through the dense layer of clouds that always seemed to hover over the Olympic Peninsula. As a child, I had never really noticed how gloomy it actually was; I found my very own bits of sunshine at the bottom of a coffee mug, or nestled in between the pages of my favorite novels. However, as the plane drew closer and closer to the ground, I was confronted with the absolute darkness of the city that I had left in my wake almost four years ago.

_ **Turn around, stupid.** _

I could, in part, blame this decision on my beloved mother, who had recently been swept off her feet by a man called Phil Dwyer. Within six months of their initial meeting, they were tying the knot on a beach in California, and he was begging her to join him on the road to pursue his blossoming career as a minor-league baseball player. Of course, this was what inevitably ended me up on this plane en route to my father’s home in Forks.

To her credit, Renee absolutely hounded me with questions, asking at least a dozen times if this was what I really wanted. Each time I heard the inquiry leave her lips, I forced myself to nod without saying a word. Even my hair-brained mom could sniff out my poorly-worded lies in an instant.

_ **Stupidstupidstupid.** _

A large part of me knew that I was a fool for being so anxious. My father had been dropping hints for months; he wanted me to return to Forks. To return home. He called at least once a month just to tell me that everyone missed me, and that whenever I was ready, there was a heaping plate of berry cobbler with my name on it at the diner.

It was no mystery to me that Charlie blamed himself for my leaving Forks so suddenly at the end of middle school. However, I took great comfort in the knowledge that my father was one of the most non-confrontational humans on the planet: He would wonder constantly about the reasons behind my decision, no doubt trying to piece together exactly why his anxious homebody of a daughter had suddenly decided to run hundreds of miles away from home, but he would never bring it up to my face.

Next to me, the old woman stirred. In the midst of my nervous squirming, I had accidentally woken her. I went limp against the window and snapped one eye shut, pretending to be fast asleep myself. I was far too anxious to endure any more one-sided chatter.

I wondered if I was fooling her. Could she hear my heart hammering in my chest? Could she smell the fear seeping out of my pores? I dug my fingernails into the soft flesh of my palm and squeezed my eyes shut. Luckily, I was positioned close to the exit. As soon as the plane landed, I would do what I was best at and make a run for it.

_ **Turn around, stupid.** _

* * *

I spotted Charlie crouched by the escalator, half-waving a large cardboard sign at no one in particular. Even from a distance, I could make out the words ‘**WELCOME HOME, BELLS**’ written in large, crooked script. The gesture wasn’t enough to still my hummingbird heartbeat, but I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth.

Using every ounce of courage within me, I managed to call out, “hey, dad.”

Charlie perked up at the sound of my voice, his face splitting into a massive grin. Within seconds, he was rushing towards me, his sign long forgotten.

When he reached me, he pulled into his arms and tucked my head under his chin. In turn, I wrapped my shaky noodle arms around him and squeezed tightly, allowing myself to abandon all fear and anxiety for a few blissful moments.

“I missed you, kid,” he whispered into my hair. He was so quiet, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Missed you too, dad. Thanks for the sign.” I pulled away, smiling bashfully.

“I didn’t want you to get lost in the airport,” he chuckled, looking away bashfully. I noticed that his cheeks were tinged pink as he took my suitcase from me, swinging it over his shoulder almost effortlessly. In turn, I quickly occupied myself by reaching down to tie my already helplessly knotted shoelaces. Neither of us had ever been very good with physical intimacy.

When we reached Charlie’s cruiser, he opened the passenger door for me before throwing my bag in the back seat. “Hope you don’t mind, I invited the Blacks over for dinner. Well… Billy and Jake, that is. The girls haven’t been around much.” His tone was a little bitter towards the end of that sentence, but I didn’t ask. My tongue had turned to sandpaper in my mouth.

_ **Run away. Turn around and run away.** _

He sensed my hesitation and continued, tripping over his words ever so slightly. “You don’t have to worry about cooking dinner or anything, Bells. Billy is bringing ribs and I have leftovers in the fridge. I hope… that’s okay, right?”

The knot in my stomach tightened. I felt nauseous. Sign or no sign, I was hopelessly lost.

_ **Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid.** _

Charlie was waiting for an answer, so I forced myself to nod and smile. “Sounds good, dad.”

He must have bought my fake enthusiasm, because he appeared to visibly relax. The lines on his forehead smoothed over, and a small smile found its way to his aging face.

I’d used to feel bad about lying to my father. Now, it felt like mercy. I’d already put him through too much.

_ **All you ever do is run away.** _

The drive home was spent in silence, but I basked in it as though it was a patch of sunlight. Charlie and I were alike in that neither of us were talkers; we stumbled our way through conversations as though each word was an elaborate tongue-twister that we could never get quite right. My mother had always found it weird, insisting that I must be depressed from living in the cloudy, gloomy vortex that was Forks; I don’t think she was ever able to come to terms with the fact that I was all of Charlie and none of her.

When we arrived at my father’s house, he helped me carry my bag upstairs where the rest of my stuff was waiting in boxes. I couldn’t help but smile at the familiarity of my childhood bedroom; the fairy lights that I had carefully strung around the room were still tacked in place, and my purple duvet looked warm and inviting after the day’s events. Even my old, dusty bookshelves called to me like old friends in need of a sturdy hug.

Behind me, Charlie was shifting from one foot to the other. “Are you sure you’re okay with company tonight?”

_ **Run away. Get out of here, stupid.** _

I resisted the urge to shake my head no, to beg him to call off dinner with Billy and Jacob. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Charlie turned to go, but he paused when he reached the stairs and looked back at me. “It’s good to see you, Bells.”

“You too, dad.”

“I missed you too, kid,” he replied, a small blush coloring his cheeks. And with that, he turned on his heels and wandered down the stairs. My father never hovered.

After unpacking each of the five medium-sized boxes containing my things, I got to work reorganizing my room. Cleaning had always been cathartic for me, and if I was to face my demons head on, I was determined to do it with a clear head. It took me almost thirty minutes, but I managed to unpack and sort through my entire wardrobe: I hid away most of the items that my mother had purchased for me, opting instead to fill my dresser drawers with my usual jeans, cozy t-shirts, and sweaters. I also arranged my shoes, placing my favorite pair of sneakers at the front of my modest collection.

I was just about to start moving a basket of toiletries into the bathroom when I heard a commotion downstairs. Charlie was welcoming Billy and Jacob Black inside our house.

_ **Run away. Runrunrunrunrunrun.** _

I wondered briefly if it was impossible to feign illness. I wasn’t ready to see them. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready to see them again. Especially Jacob.

_ **Stupid.** _

But I had to do this for Charlie’s sake. He deserved a normal kid, the kind that didn’t hyperventilate over the smallest of things. The kind that wouldn’t leave him for four years with no explanation. The kind that would shoulder her own blame instead of leaving it for him to carry.

_ **All you ever do is run away.** _

If I couldn’t be the daughter that Charlie deserved, I would just have to pretend with all of my might.

I zipped up my hoodie and crept downstairs towards the voices. My goal was to do something resembling a graceful entrance, but I missed the third step from the bottom, lost my footing, and landed at the feet of none other than Jacob Black.

_ **Get up and run.** _

I lay in shock for a few seconds before peering up at him, my face burning. This was not the way I wanted to reintroduce myself to my childhood best friend.

_ **GET UP AND RUN.** _

“You’re clumsy as ever, I see,” he chuckled.

I was mute, unable to do so much as open my mouth. He just chuckled and offered me a hand. I grabbed it hesitantly, not wanting to risk another embarrassing face-plant.

“Are you alright there, Bella?” Billy Black was sitting in a wheelchair next to my father, and he had a humongous grin plastered across his face.

_ **RunrunrunrunRUN.** _

Grief pooled in my chest, nearly bringing me to my knees. Charlie had informed me that Billy’s health had taken a turn for the worse in the months after it happened. He had lost mobility in the lower half of his body, forcing him to rely on a wheelchair. I knew this, but somehow seeing him in front of me filled me with intangible sorrow.

He must have sensed my emotional turmoil, because he wheeled forward, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder ever so gently. I leaned in to give him a hug, and he patted my back. I was almost soothed.

“We have missed you, Bella. Especially Jake, here,” he nodded to his son, who flashed me a sheepish grin.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” I said softly. And I truly had.

“Do you think you’ll be sticking around?” His tone was gentle.

I was silent for a moment. Behind me, I felt Charlie stiffen. He was waiting for an answer as well.

_ **All you ever do is run away. You’re pathetic.** _

“Yeah,” I responded lamely.

I heard Charlie exhale, and I kicked myself internally.

_ **Pathetic.** _

We flocked to Charlie’s small, homey dining room, and Jacob helped situate Billy while my dad and I re-heated some mac and cheese to go with the ribs that the Blacks had brought. To my surprise, Charlie revealed that he had sautéed some green beans as well.

“Your old man really found his way around the kitchen after you left, Bella,” Billy sighed contentedly. “He had some help of course. Old Harry Clearwater and I showed him how it’s done.”

Charlie only smiled and rolled his eyes.

Billy Black was famous for bringing conversation to what would have usually been a quiet occasion. I half-listened, pressing my fingernails into my palm with one hand while poking at my meal with the other.  
Knowing that Charlie would be concerned with my lack of appetite, I made a show of forcing food down my throat while simultaneously spreading my food around my plate like a snotty child trying to fool her way out of eating her peas. He bought it, assuming that I was enthusiastic about my food as I looked. I scraped the rest of it into a Tupperware while everyone else rinsed off their plates in the sink.

_ **Failure.** _

After they had cleaned up, Charlie helped Billy into his chair and the two of them wandered outside to the front porch, leaving me and Jacob by ourselves.

“So, how was Phoenix?” A small smile played across his features.

“Hot,” I rasped out. “And dry.”

He nodded, and looked down at his shoes. I had made things awkward, as per usual. However, I took this failure as a chance to really look at him for the first time in years: He towered over me now, all traces of baby fat gone from his face and broad arms. He had chopped off several inches of what used to be waist length hair; the inky black, pin-straight tendrils now brushed just past his collarbone. His eyes were the same as when he was a child, though; his chocolate eyes and his ever-present dimples reminded me of a time that I wasn’t sure I wanted to remember forever or forget as soon as possible.

_ **All you ever do is run away. Failure.** _

“Are you okay, Bella?” He asked, bringing me out of my stupor.

I nodded robotically, shrugging my shoulders.

_ **Stupid.** _

Jacob opened his mouth, undoubtedly to call me out on my lie, but a commotion from outside vaporized the words on the tip of his tongue.

“Bells, Jake, come out here.” Charlie called. He sounded excited, maybe even a bit manic.

I gave Jacob a weak smile before wandering outside to see what all the fuss was about.

Billy and my dad were standing outside in front of the Black’s red-orange Chevy pickup, and they both wore matching grins that swallowed their faces.

“What do you think?” Charlie patted the truck, smiling sheepishly. I suddenly realized that everyone was staring at me.

“About what?” I squinted at him, confused.

“Your welcome home present.” He gently  
rapped the metal again for emphasis.

My eyes widened, and I pointed at the truck wordlessly. I knew my mouth was hanging open wide enough to catch flies, but I couldn’t snap it shut for the life of me.

“Is this really mine?” I finally choked out.

Billy chuckled. “Sure is! Charlie bought this old beater off of me last week, Bella. Jacob here fixed it up for you.”

“Oh my God,” a breathless laugh escaped from my chest. “This is awesome, you guys!” For once, I didn’t have to fake my enthusiasm.

Billy grinned at my father, snickering loudly. “See, I told you she’d love it. I’m down with the kids.”

I turned to him. “Thank you, Billy. And Jacob,” I tossed him a small smile. “And thank you, dad.” I wrapped my arm around his waist, giving him a gentle squeeze.

“Welcome home, Bella.”

* * *

Since the Blacks had driven over in my new truck, I offered them a ride home so that Charlie could get some shuteye before his early shift at the station. In hindsight, I should have known that it was an awful idea, but my sense of reason was numbed by the feeling of calm that washed over me when my backside touched the battered leather driver’s seat of my new truck.

It didn’t last, of course. As soon as we neared the outskirts of Forks, I felt white-hot shards of panic begin to rip through my insides, causing me to double over in pain. I must have played it off okay, because neither of my companions took notice of my behavior.

_ **Run.** _

Once we reached the county line, I began to hyperventilate. I rolled down the squeaky window to mask the sound of labored breathing, all the while pretending like I didn’t know where I was going as I looped around the fork in the road that would have taken me straight to La Push. Jacob seemed oblivious, but I could tell at a glance that Billy had noticed my little detour. He didn’t say anything about it though, and I avoided his gaze for the rest of the ride.

_ **RunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunRUN.** _

By the time we pulled into Jacob’s driveway, my knuckles were white from having clutched the steering wheel too hard. I stared down at my lap as Jacob helped Billy out of the truck and into his wheelchair.

“Thanks for the ride,” he said sheepishly.

“No problem, anytime,” I choked out. I could barely hear myself over my own thoughts; my inner monologue was wailing, begging me to speed away at one hundred miles per hour and not look back until I was sure that the ghosts were no longer behind me.

_ **All you ever do is leave.** _

Billy finally spoke to me. “We’d love it if you could stop by sometime, Bella. You are always welcome here, and nothing will ever change that. Please don’t forget it.”

_ **RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN.** _

A lump rose in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow it down no matter how hard I tried. Somehow, I found the strength to nod. “I’d better go. Thanks again for fixing this up for me. It’s really awesome.”

Jacob’s entire face lit up. “Sure, sure, Bella. Let me know if you ever need me to look at it.”

I called my thanks before slamming the door shut and taking off as fast as I possibly could without crashing my new ride.

I took the long way home again.

_ **All you ever do is run away.** _


	2. Chapter II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! The trigger warnings for this chapter are relatively similar to that of the last! Please read with caution if you are easily triggered by situations involving depression or negative self-talk. Bella has a lot of internalized trauma to work through, and until she makes the decision to acknowledge it, it's going to be wreaking havoc on her mental health. As always, enjoy!

**Chapter II.**

wake me up  
I wanna feel the sun  
I'm caught in a bad dream

~

Ruelle | Bad Dream

* * *

From the time that I was old enough to board a plane, I had spent a handful of weeks out of every year with my mother. For almost as long, she had been nagging me about staying an entire summer. Each time she asked, I had politely declined, and as a punishment for my vehement rejection, I had to endure several hours of her wailing while I tried desperately to come up with a good excuse for why I didn’t love her enough to stay.

Of course, the truth was much less melodramatic. Years of living with Charlie had made me accustomed to a quiet, minimalist lifestyle that my mother simply did not understand: I vastly preferred peaceful nights spent inside reading a battered novel, whereas Renée couldn’t feel fulfilled unless she had absolutely exhausted herself that day. Being around her felt like being swept into a powerful current; terrifyingly, inescapably intense.

Long story short, my beloved mother drove me absolutely insane.

However, I felt as though it was my sworn duty as her dutiful daughter to indulge her once in awhile, so I flew down to spend Thanksgiving break with her in 2001, a little over three years ago. Of course, when it came time for me to return to my father, the waterworks started up. She begged me once again to keep her company over the summer, promising that she would surely go mad from loneliness if I refused her any longer.

I never was the assertive type. I returned home to my father after promising Renée that I would return to Phoenix immediately after school let out in the spring.

Then it happened, and suddenly, life as I knew it no longer existed. The nightmares began plaguing me within a week, and soon thereafter, the lack of sleep caught up with me and rendered me an emotionless zombie. On the rare occasions where I was able to sleep through the night, I would wake up to a tear-stained pillowcase. My grades went down the drain, and my clothes began to hang off of what were once soft curves. By the time summer rolled around, Charlie was threatening to send me to a counselor. I was more than happy to escape Forks for a short while.

At first, I didn’t intend to stay in Phoenix. I had every intention of wriggling out of Renée’s clutches and returning home before my first semester of high school was set to begin. However, after less than a week of summer vacation, the nightmares that had been robbing me of both sanity and sleep suddenly stopped haunting me. The decision basically made itself.

_ **Run away, stupid.** _

When I called Charlie to inform him of my decision, something inside of me broke. After I hung up the phone, I holed myself up in the bathroom for hours and cried out an entire ocean of tears. My mother tried desperately to console me, but she gave up after I refused to unlock the door and let her in.

_ **All you ever do is run away.** _

After six months of living with Renée in Phoenix, I was itching to go back home. However, each time I picked up the phone, I chickened out of actually dialing Charlie’s number. I was beyond terrified that he hated me for leaving him alone, but what scared me more was hearing him say that he wanted me to return. The idea of re-experiencing such horrible nightmares chased away any overpowering desire to eject myself from my mother’s orbit.

Which was why, on my first night home, I braced myself for an onslaught of terror-inducing nightmares. I knelt beside my bed and prayed to every god who’s name I could remember, begging them to allow me just one more peaceful night.

It worked. I woke up refreshed and wondering if I should consider going to church more than once a year.

After three additional nights of dreamless slumber, I made the mistake of believing that the nightmares were gone for good. On the fifth night, the one before my first day of school, I snuggled under my purple duvet, allowing sleep to take me without hesitation.

My consciousness turned against me almost instantaneously, etching abstract horrors on the underside of my eyelids. I woke up for the first time within minutes of falling asleep, but exhaustion held me against my mattress like some sort of magnet. I continued to drift in and out of sleep for several hours, and each time I shut my eyes, blurry bits and pieces of dream became more and more in-focus. Eventually, waking up to the darkness of my bedroom felt more like a dream than the horrors that lurked in the corners of my mind.

It was the same dream each time; the only thing that seemed to change was the vividness of it all. I was standing on a freshly-paved road in the middle of a dense, snow-covered forest. A thin film of fresh powder coated the ground, and flakes were beginning to stick to my clothes and hair.

_ **Run.** _

A shadowy figure stood at the edge of the forest, his back turned to me. He had silky, coal-colored hair that billowed ever so slightly in the wind, and his skin was the color of coffee with a few extra drops of creamer.

Even from a distance, I could hear him sobbing gently.

_ **NO. RUN.** _

“Jacob!” I screamed his name, but he didn’t respond. He stayed put, almost as though he hadn’t even heard me call to him.

I reached him within seconds, placing my hand on the small of his back. His body felt rigid and cold and so unlike Jacob. I tried to pull him towards me, to coax him into turning around, but he wouldn’t budge, so moved over next to him, reaching up to tilt his face towards mine.

A horrified whimper left my throat the second I laid sight on his face. Jacob wasn’t Jacob anymore. His perfect russet skin had taken on an ashen, greyish tint, and his almond-colored eyes were now the color of blood.

_Blood._

_ **RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN.** _

I jerked awake for the last time, my entire body shaking like a leaf. Not even a minute later, my alarm went off, screaming at me to get out of bed. I was only able to oblige after several minutes of nonstop rocking back and forth with a blanket wrapped tightly around my heaving shoulders.

I was exhausted, but I had to get up. I couldn’t be late on my first day of school.

_ **Stupid.** _

* * *

“You’re Bella Swan? Hi!” A voice behind me gleefully cried, making me jump in surprise.

I had just arrived at school, and already, my classmates had taken notice of the new student in their midst. Disgruntled, I turned around in time to watch his face fall.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he mumbled.

“You’re fine,” I choked out, sounding agitated. I had only just gotten my class schedule, and somehow, everyone already knew my name.

“I’m Eric. I don’t know if you remember, but we went to middle school together,” he said, a smile lighting up his entire face once more. Either he didn’t sense my overwhelming discomfort, or he was simply choosing to ignore it.

“Yeah, I remember.” I did my best to throw him a bone by giving him a small smile, although I’m sure it looked more like a painful grimace. I hoped he was too daft to realize that I didn’t have the faintest clue as to who he was.

He appeared to be fooled. “You got it, baby! Anything you need? Tour guide, lunch date, a shoulder to cry on?” He grin was so wide, I swore his face might split open.

“Um. I’m more of the … suffer in silence type,” I muttered, trying rather painstakingly to conceal my chagrin as I glanced around for the closest bathroom. I had only been at school for a half hour, but I already wanted to feign a contagious illness and retreat to the confines of my bedroom.

_ **All you ever do is run away.** _

Eric laughed way too loud at what I had said, no doubt having mistook it as a joke, and in that moment, I realized that everyone in the hallway had turned to look at us. A few of them were whispering amongst themselves, staring at me as I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. It was disgustingly cliche, but in that moment, I really did wish that the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

_ **Stupid.** _

After a few minutes of painfully awkward and decidedly one-sided chatter, I managed to ditch Eric and head to first period. This turned out to be a grave mistake: Maneuvering the halls on my own proved to be quite a challenge, and it didn’t help that everyone was staring at me as I walked past. Occasionally, a brave soul would even toss a wave in my direction and call my name. I wondered if Charlie had told the entire county of Forks that I was coming back.

By the time I made it to my first class, I was almost five minutes late. I mentally kicked myself for not suffering through Eric’s smothering behavior, knowing that it would have saved me from the scolding that Mr. Mason gave me in front of my entire English class. He sent me to the very back of the classroom, and I could feel a dozen pairs of eyes following me as I stumbled to my seat in shame.

_ **StupidstupidSTUPID.** _

Thankfully, class passed by in a blur. I had already read most of the required material for the remainder of the school year, and each of my assigned papers were almost carbon copies of assignments that I’d had in the past. Second-period Spanish was much the same: I pretended to listen as Mrs. Goff prattled on about verbs, instead choosing to stare out the window and daydream about my foam-topped mattress.

Shockingly enough, I got lucky in gym class of all places when Coach Clapp, a pudgy, balding man who didn’t quite fit into his gym shorts, greeted me near the locker room. He handed me a brand new set of gym clothes and informed me that I wasn’t required to participate for the entire period. I wasn’t able to help myself from sighing in relief, but thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice.

“Just… walk around and try to look like you’re doing something in case Principal Greene walks by,” he told me, sounding both bored and exhausted at the same time.

I nodded my thanks. I couldn’t help but think he was even less enthusiastic about being there than I was.

I spent the next several minutes circling around the gym, making sure to stay a safe distance away from all of the activities that were currently unfolding around me. The girls were playing volleyball, and the guys were playing an odd, semi-violent cross between basketball and dodgeball.

Of course, my luck ran out about halfway through the period. Right as I turned around to walk the loop again, I saw a volleyball flying in my direction. Without thinking, I reached out to knock it away before it took out a few of my teeth. Of course, instead of hitting its intended target, the ball collided with a scruffy blonde head all the way across the court.

I dashed over in the direction of my victim. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I groaned. “I shouldn’t be allowed within twenty feet of a ball.”

_ **STUPID.** _

After a few seconds, he seemed to regain focus, and his eyes lit up when he saw me standing in front of him. “Bella Swan!” He hooted.

It was then that I recognized him. His name was Mike Newton, and he had gotten a nosebleed during our eighth-grade field trip to the movies. In a horrific chain of events, my fear of blood had caused me to pass out, and both of our parents had to be called to take us home early.

“Hi, Mike.”

“Oh wow, how have you been?” He rubbed his bruised skull sheepishly.

Before I could respond, a girl ran up behind us. “She has a great spike, huh?”

I didn’t have an inkling as to who this girl was, but I recognized her from second period Spanish. She had perfectly smooth, honey-brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, and her mascara didn’t seem to be the slightest bit smudged even after batting the ball around the court for several minutes. She was smiling at me from beside Mike, but I immediately got the impression that she was sizing me up.

“Um, thanks.”

“I’m Jessica, by the way,” she said, flashing me her perfectly straight teeth. She didn’t offer any other explanation as to who she was, so I went out on a limb and assumed that this was our first time meeting.

“Jess, this is Bella. Her dad is Chief Swan. She used to go to school with us, but she moved to Arizona before our freshman year.”

“I know who she is, Mike,” Jessica’s smile was too wide, her voice dripping with honey. “Aren’t you a little pale to be from Arizona?” She quipped. Her eyes stared into me, looking me over. I was sure that she was ruling me out as competition, scrutinizing everything from my ratty old vans to each of my split ends.

“Maybe that’s why they kicked me out,” I deadpanned.

Mike chuckled somewhat hysterically. She didn’t seem amused.

I tuned him out as he babbled for several minutes, trying to find a polite way to eject myself from the conversation. Jessica seemed to feel the same way: She was clearly not interested in anything he was saying about me, and she seemed to resent that I was getting all of his attention. I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to explain to her that it was entirely unwelcome, and that she would have Mike all to herself again soon.

It was Coach Clapp that finally came to my rescue yet again. He hollered at the three of us, waving Mike over to the section of the gym where the other boys were playing basketball. After today, I was quite certain that he was my savior.

“Catch you later, Bella!” Mike clapped me on the shoulder before sprinting off in the direction of the other guys.

I gave him an awkward wave before turning around to face Jessica. She gave me a catty little smirk before slinking back to her previous position on the court. I busied myself by walking laps until the bell sounded.

Unfortunately, Mike seemed determined to continue our earlier conversation. He caught up to me in the hall and informed me that we shared a lunch period. I fought off the urge to remind him that the entire school ate at the same time, but I figured that I should indulge him after nearly subjecting him to a concussion. Besides, I was deathly afraid of sitting alone; the entire school would be packed into the cafeteria, and I couldn’t convince myself that they wouldn’t all be staring at me.

To my chagrin, both Eric and Jessica were seated at the same table as us. The former greeted me enthusiastically while the latter regarded me silently, looking as though she had swallowed a lemon.

Thankfully, I recognized a friendly face. Angela Webber was seated next to Eric, and as soon as she saw me, she flashed me a brilliant, sunshiny smile. “Hi, Bella! Long time no see.”

“Hey, Angela,” I returned in kind, feeling genuinely happy to see someone for the first time that day.

“Oh, you two know each other too?” Jessica made no attempt to hide her annoyance at all the attention I was getting. Clearly, she was all too used to it being directed at her.

“Yeah,” Angela said. “Bella and I used to have sleepovers sometimes. I’m not sure if you remember, though,” she shrugged at me, looking somewhat apologetic.

I did. Angela was part of the handful of people that I had actually considered my friend growing up. We had spent a lot of time together in elementary school, often partnering during projects so that we wouldn’t have to interact with people that we didn’t really know.

“I remember. How’s your dad?” Angela’s whole family was just as nice as she was. Her father was a minister, and he and his wife had two loud, slightly obnoxious sons that their daughter doted on. They were the perfect, loving family; I had always envied all of them for fitting in so well together.

“He’s great, thanks for asking.”

Our conversation dissolved soon thereafter. Jessica prattled on about the upcoming spring dance whilst glancing longingly over at Mike, who appeared to be painfully oblivious to her affections. He was chatting with Eric and a guy named Tyler, who had given me a crisp high five earlier. I was never one for lunchroom gossip, so, in a fit of boredom, I began people-watching. It was around that time that I noticed a small group of students entering the lunchroom from a small courtyard entrance.

There were five of them, and each one seemed more beautiful than the last: They were all pale-skinned with perfect complexions and shiny hair, and each of them appeared almost inhumanly poised and graceful. Even from a distance, you could tell that they operated as a unit, and that anyone outside of their little bubble did not hold their attention for very long.

“Who are they?” I whispered to Angela, my eyes never leaving them.

I expected her to ask me which people I was referring to, but she seemed to understand immediately. “Those are the Cullens.”

“They’re Dr. and Mrs. Cullen’s foster kids,” Jessica cut in, her voice indignant. Clearly, she was ignorant of the fact that I had intentionally left her out of the conversation.

I shrugged at her, indicating that I had no idea who she was referring to, and she rolled her eyes. “Obviously you wouldn’t know them, Bella.They moved down here from Alaska a couple of years ago.”

That would explain it. I was sure that this was my first time seeing these people. None of them had the kind of face that you were bound to forget any time soon.

Angela lowered her voice as they drew closer. “They kinda keep to themselves.”

I nodded in understanding. I knew from firsthand experience that being the new kid was tough, especially at such a small school, and based on the way that both Jessica and Angela stared at them, I could infer that the Cullens were subjects of frequent speculation and gossip. I shivered, unable to comprehend the effect that such a thing would have on me for such a long period of time. I was thankful that, within a few weeks, I would no longer be the subject of my classmate’s curiosity; I was perfectly happy being boring old Bella Swan.

Jessica was babbling, pointing out each and every member of the Cullen family to me by name. I wanted to tell her to lower her voice, but I figured that it would draw even more attention to the fact that we were shamelessly gossiping. Besides, I was curious about these strangers.

“Okay, look,” she demanded, her tone more than a little authoritative; she sounded as though she was commanding a large audience. “The tall, dark-haired guy is Emmett. And the blonde girl is Rosalie. They’re like, together,” she informed me, her face twisted in disgust.

“Jess! I told you, it’s not like they’re actually related,” Angela exclaimed, clearly exasperated. Unlike her friend, she had the tact to keep her voice low as the couple walked by our table.

“I know, but it’s still like, really strange,” she protested. She gestured at the two behind Rosalie and Emmett. “Jasper, the one that looks like he’s in pain? Yeah, that’s Rosalie’s twin brother. He’s with Alice, the little dark-haired girl.”

“Okay. Who’s he?” Neither Angela or Jess had said anything about the last Cullen who was walking by himself, clearly keeping his distance from the other four.

“That’s Edward Cullen. He’s, like, totally gorgeous, but apparently no one here is good enough for him.” Jessica rolled her eyes. I wondered how long it had been since he’d turned her down.

I glanced over at this Edward as he passed by our table. Just at a glance, I could see why Jessica had been so interested in him: He had beautiful coppery hair that fell in unruly waves across his face, and like the rest of the Cullens, he had translucent skin that looked silky-smooth to the touch. I wasn't able to get a good look at his eyes, but from a distance, they appeared almost black.

“Seriously, don’t waste your time.” Jessica was still rambling.

“Wasn’t planning on it.” It was the honest truth. I had a million problems to sort through; the last thing I wanted to do was add an entire family of aloof, albeit gorgeous, strangers to the list. At least, that’s what I let myself believe until I arrived at the door of my biology classroom with Mike hot on my heels.

“Good day, Mr. Newton. And ah, you must be Isabella Swan,” Mr. Molina nodded at me.

“Just Bella,” I said softly. Over his shoulder, I noticed Edward Cullen sitting by himself. He was reading from a battered, leather-bound book, but I couldn’t make out the name that was printed on the spine.

“Of course. Mike,” he pointed him towards his desk. The boy groaned, staring at me with a forlorn expression etched across his face. He didn’t even try to hide his disdain towards being seated away from me. I prayed that the overwhelming relief I felt wasn’t as obvious.

“Miss Swan, I assign seats to limit potential distractions,” Mr. Molina said, scanning his roster. I was fine with this; assigned seats meant that I was saved from the potential embarrassment of being picked last. “You’ll be sitting with Mr. Cullen over there.” He handed me a textbook and a small stack of papers, and I accepted them wordlessly.

I nodded my thanks at him before awkwardly sliding past him into the classroom and taking a seat at my desk. I kept my eyes glued to the floor, determined not to so much as glance at the mysterious stranger with whom I would be sharing a desk.

As soon as I sat down, Edward pushed himself against the wall, almost as if he was trying to sit as far away from me as he possibly could. I stared up at him, wondering what his problem was.

He was looking right at me, his eyes like tar pits. He had pressed the thick material of his shirt against the lower half of his face, but I could still make out the shape of his lips curled into a snarl.

_ **Stupid.** _

I felt the bile begin to crawl up my throat as I scooted over to the very edge of the uncomfortable plastic seat. I sniffed my hair self-consciously, wondering if I was omitting an unpleasant odor that was repelling my new lab partner, but all I smelled was the fresh scent of Head & Shoulders mixed with my cucumber melon conditioner.

Mr. Molina made his rounds, passing around small containers containing planaria. Once he reached our table, he passed Edward the specimen before nodding curtly at me.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you catch up,” he muttered. His message was clear: Tell me if a problem arises.

Edward was still covering his face as he nudged the specimen towards me. In the dim light, his eyes looked like black holes; they were so dark that all the light in our corner of the classroom seemed to disappear inside of them. I forced myself to look away, but I could still feel the burn of his eyes on me. I tried to distract myself by pretending to be fascinated by Mr. Molina’s blabber whilst carefully outlining random passages in my pre-written notes that didn’t at all line up to the lecture.

The fifty-minute class period dragged by, almost to the point where it felt like an eternity. By the time the bell finally rang, I thought I had worked up enough courage to ask him what on earth his problem was, but he never gave me the chance. In a flash, he bolted from his seat, sprinted to the other end of the classroom, and disappeared out the door.

_ **Stupid Stupid Stupid.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First of all, I would like to thank @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen on tumblr! She has played a big part in the editing process, and I couldn't be more thankful. 
> 
> Secondly, thanks to all of you that have left comments/kudos or shared your theories with me! If you'd like, message me on tumblr at @belovedisabella and we can talk more about this work! Or you can leave an ask if you are shy. 
> 
> One more thing: I am starting another work! It's not going to be up for awhile, because I want to put all of my energy into keeping this one updated. However, I think you're all gonna really enjoy it!


	3. Chapter III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If you're sensitive to topics like PTSD and depression, I would advise you to read at your own risk. Things are going to get way worse before they get better, and Bella has only just started to work through some of her trauma. Also, if you are triggered by mentions of violence, death, etc., please bear in mind that such topics are BRIEFLY mentioned in this chapter. There is nothing super uncomfortable or graphic, but I am listing it as a trigger warning just to be safe. Happy reading!

**Chapter III:**

I woke up, I was stuck in a dream  
you were there, you were tearing up everything  
we all know how to fake it baby  
we all know what we've done  
we must be killers, children of the wild ones  
killers, where we've got left to run  
~  
Mikky Ekko | We Must Be Killers

* * *

My nightmares proved themselves steadfast in their ability to deprive me of sleep, almost as though my own brain was trying to drive me into madness. I spent the better half of Monday night wide awake, holding myself still under a massive pile of blankets. When morning finally came, I drove myself to school in a haze, exhaustion weighing me down like a ton of bricks.

The second I arrived, I noticed a cherry-colored Jeep Wrangler parked at the very edge of the lot. It looked more than a little out of place among the mud-covered tin cans that littered the scene, as did the beautiful creatures that inhabited it. Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett slid out of the vehicle right as I parked a safe distance away, and I couldn’t help but sigh in relief after noting that Edward was not with them. His spiteful, smoldering gaze had been a recurring part of last night’s horrific reel of nightmares, and I wasn’t sure I had the energy to look him in the eye after everything that had occurred.

I had every intention of awkwardly sliding past the Cullens, but as soon as I tried to hop down from behind the wheel of my vehicle, I lost my footing and toppled onto the ground like a freshly-cracked egg. My knees scraped against ice-cold pavement, slicing past the barrier of my jeans and streaking the fabric with crimson. Almost instantaneously, the overwhelming scent of blood overwhelmed my senses and my stomach dropped into my guts.

_ **Blood. Blood everywhere.** _

The Cullens must have heard my shrill cry of pain, because the one called Jasper turned on his heels and started slowly in my direction. He was too far away for me to get a clear look at his face, but something about the way he crept towards me sent a shiver down my spine.

“No, Jasper,” I heard Alice screech. The smallest Cullen began dragging her boyfriend away from me by the hem of his shirt, her tiny shoulders sagging as though she was putting all of her energy into keeping him from helping me up. Behind her, Rosalie and Emmett were beckoning their siblings towards the school, their chests puffed out in annoyance.

_ **Bloodbloodbloodblood.** _

“Bella!” I heard Angela’s voice behind me, violently tearing me from a terrifying trance. She crouched beside me and pulled a tissue out of her purse. “Hey, what happened? You’re bleeding.”

I peered up at the Cullens. Alice lingered to the left of Jasper, her tiny hand wrapped around his wrist. Rosalie had taken possession of his right arm, linking it together with her own. Behind them, Emmett was standing a little straighter than usual, his hand resting gently on Rosalie’s shoulder. I wondered what I could have possibly done to offend them.

I was so caught up in my own humiliation that I barely noticed Angela sitting beside me until I felt her begin to dab at my exposed knee. I flinched, tucking my face into the crook of my elbow. The stench of blood was more than a little overpowering, but I was able to combat my lightheadedness by breathing in the soft, powdery smell of my deodorant.

_ **Blood everywhere.** _

“Still squeamish around blood, I see,” Angela murmured sympathetically. She pressed the wadded up ball of tissue into my wound, holding me steady as I winced in pain. “I’m sorry, but you’re bleeding like crazy. I’m trying to keep it from getting all over your clothes.”

“Thanks, Angela,” I whispered.

_ **Failure.** _

“No problem. Anyway, is everything alright? The Cullens looked like they wanted to make you their next meal or something. They weren’t bothering you, were they?”

“Yeah,” I responded weakly. “I think Jasper wanted to help me up, but the others pulled him away before he could get to me.”

“Weird,” she mused. “Okay, I think I stopped the bleeding. Let’s get you to the nurse so you can get a band-aid and some cream.”

_ **You’re a failure.** _

* * *

I spent the remainder of the day stumbling from classroom to classroom as though I were some sort of zombie. To keep myself awake in class, I doodled all over my notebooks, filling the margins with flowering cactus plants and shards of distant but pleasant dreams. Occasionally, I would feel the stinging of my split kneecap, now clad in an ugly Hello Kitty band-aid. It was a helpful reminder that I was still tethered to the Earth, even if only by a thread.

By the time I slipped through the front door of my house, my only goal was to slide under my duvet and into a deep sleep. With any luck, the daylight that filtered through my bedroom window would be enough to chase away any monsters that lingered in the nooks and crannies of my room.

Apparently, those plans simply were not meant to come to fruition. Right as I was about to wander upstairs, I heard my father emerge from his spot in the living room. “Bells? Did I hear you come in?”

“Hey, dad,” I replied, feigning nonchalance. I prayed that he wouldn’t be able to detect any exhaustion in my voice.

He seemed to be fooled by my cheery demeanor. “How was your second day of school, kiddo?”

“Uh, pretty cool,” I gave him a weak grin. “I’ve been reconnecting with some old friends from middle school. Angela and Mike.”

Charlie’s eyebrows were knitted together, but a tiny smile played at his lips. “Really? That’s great, Bells. Angela and the Newton kid are great folks.”

I forced myself to nod in agreement, but white-hot slivers of guilt were searing the lining of my stomach and wearing down the edges of my already-strained smile. I was smart enough to recognize that he had taken my fake enthusiasm to mean that things were finally returning to the way they had been before I had decided to leave home. I couldn’t help but wonder when the dreaded truth would finally rip its way out of me.

“By the way,” Charlie half-mumbled, “Billy invited us over for dinner. He and Jake wanted to return the favor after we hosted them the other night. Figured you’d be cool with letting someone else cook for a change.”

_ **Stupid.** _

“I’m cool with cooking dinner,” I choked out, speaking way louder than I had intended. “I mean… dad, it’s fine.”

Charlie gawked at me. “I reckon you’re not in the mood for a visit to the Res?”

“I have a lot of homework,” I mumbled sheepishly.

_ **Stupidstupidstupid.** _

“Well, alright,” He replied. “I could maybe throw some burgers on the grill.”

I pursed my lips, fighting the shame that flooded through me. “Don’t worry about me, please. I’m just gonna make some soup and work on this paper for English.”

His brow furrowed. “You sure? I don’t want to leave you here all by yourself.”

“Dad, I promise I’m okay.”

“Well, alright Bells,” Charlie exhaled, looking more than a little relieved. He ruffled my hair affectionately before grabbing his coat and walking over to the door. “You’ll call and let me know if you need anything?”

I gave him a small thumbs up, and he nodded before slipping out the door.

_ **Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid.** _

When I was positive that he was safely out of earshot, I stumbled up the stairs and shut myself in my bedroom before diving under my duvet. I was determined to catch a few winks of sleep before the sun crept below the horizon, imaginary papers be damned. Charlie wouldn’t be home for a few hours at least.

I had anticipated what came next, but I had done nothing to prepare for it. I had resolved long ago that there was no real way to ready myself for the horror that was my nightmares; the best I would ever be able to do was pray that they would be over quickly.

In my dreams, I braved my demons whilst lying on my back, staring up at an empty, silver sky. I was unable to move; at least a dozen bone-chillingly cold, dead claws gripped my arms and legs, holding me to the earth. One look told me that these hands belonged to rotting, open-mouthed corpses whose faces were smeared red with blood. Faces that I knew all too well. I opened my mouth to scream, but the only sounds that I could hear were the buzzing of flies and a small, soft voice that echoed within the confines of my skull:

_**You killed them,** _it whispered. _**You killed her.**_

When I awoke, the wail was still trapped in the back of my throat, festering. I was empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support you guys have been leaving in the comments! If you have any questions or comments about my work, please check out my tumblr! My URL is is belovedisabella. Also, if you haven't already, check out the playlist for Eventide at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dewDy3mp17F0FUpQfYPYu !! This will be updated with all the songs that you see at the beginning of the chapters.
> 
> One last note ... @void_senpai, if you're reading this ... I saw that you bookmarked this story and totally had a moment! I love your work and I feel very fortunate to have discovered that you noticed mine!!


	4. Chapter IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, big warning on this here chapter. It contains all the usual stuff, but it also contains minor character death, so please be aware of that. I discuss everything that happened in this chapter down below, so check it out if you're interested!

Chapter IV:

and I shed my soul,  
feel it kneeling down  
I'm clutching my faith,  
pull it tightly round  
~  
Kristen Barry | Ordinary Life

* * *

“Hey Arizona! Wait up,” I heard Mike’s distinct chortles behind me. It was Monday, the first day of my second week of school, and he was still trying in vain to capture my attention. That, and he still thought referring to me as Arizona was an acceptable pickup line.

“Hi,” I offered awkwardly. I knew I shouldn’t be throwing him a bone, but it went against my better nature to pretend like I didn’t hear the obnoxious, overly-clingy goof that was Mike Newton running up behind me. He really did mean well, I knew.

“So,” he began, suddenly shy after all his previous antics. “I was wondering, are you doing anything this weekend?”

I had every intention of responding to Mike. In fact, I had an answer blooming on the tip of my tongue. However, it withered away and died when I spotted Edward Cullen sitting at our shared desk, his body almost draped across the small plastic seat. My stomach dropped into my guts, causing an acidic liquid to shoot up my throat. I clamped my mouth shut and breathed through my nose. The last thing I needed was to splatter the linoleum floor with half-digested salad and chewed up chunks of stale bread.

_ **Stupid.** _

I took a shaky breath before brushing past Mike, who had practically been breathing down my neck. In the back of my mind, I registered the small huff of disappointment that left his lips: He had mistaken my stillness for something else altogether, probably assuming that I wasn’t completely uncomfortable allowing him to stand shoulder to shoulder with me. He couldn’t take a hint, apparently.

I moved across the room as slowly as possible, pretending to take great interest in my ratty converse and mismatched ankle socks. When I reached my final destination, I didn’t look up to see if I had attracted any attention from my lab partner. I wasn’t sure that my psyche could take any more of the silent attacks that his onyx eyes seemed to throw at me.

_ **Stupidstupidstupid.** _

My chair screeched like nails on a chalkboard when I dragged it across the linoleum. The sound almost drowned out Edward Cullen’s soft, shy voice as he spoke to me for the first time.

“Hello,” he said softly. His voice sounded almost musical, and nothing like the gruff, low growl that I had expected.

I looked up at him in spite of myself. I’m not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t what I got. Edward’s eyes were pinned to me, his gaze unwavering.

His eyes. They were no longer the color of coal. Instead, they appeared brassy, sort of like the antique locket that I had inherited from my Grandma Swan a few years ago.

“Hello,” he said again, clearing his throat as though he was gearing up for a speech of some sort. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself last week. I’m Edward Cullen. You’re Bella?”

“Yes,” I answered him all too quickly. I could feel a sheen of sweat collecting under my long-sleeved t shirt and my heart was banging on my ribcage as though it were trapped in there, begging for sweet release.

_ **Stupid.** _

Thankfully, Mr. Molina began his lecture before Edward had the chance to respond. He kept his distance throughout the period, never quite looking me in the eye as we completed our in-class assignments. I was more than a little unnerved by his sudden change in behavior, but I couldn’t help but be thankful that his treatment of me had seemingly become less hostile.

By the time the bell rang, Edward still hadn’t made any more attempts at conversing with me. He seemed content with keeping our interactions to a minimum, and having still not recovered from his overwhelming show of animosity, I was more than happy to respect his wishes. I went on with the rest of my day completely unbothered by thoughts of Edward Cullen.

Of course, the same couldn’t be said about Mike Newton. He spotted me right as I exited my final class and made a beeline for me, completely brushing off poor, disgruntled Jessica. Thankfully, I managed to avoid catching either of their eyes, meaning that there was still time to make my escape.

Mike was determined, though. He called out to me, but I pretended not to hear him over the sound of multiple conversations. Of course, this didn’t shake him. Right as he was about to take off running in my direction, I was saved by another individual who bumped his shoulder up against mine playfully. “Hey, new girl!”

Tyler Crowley, a frequent visitor at my lunch table, was now flanking me. There was a crooked smile lighting up his boyishly handsome face.

“What’s up?” I strained to keep the corners of my smile from crumbling like sugar cookies dipped in milk.

“Nothing much, I just figured I’d say hi and ask you how you’re liking Forks,” he grinned. “Don’t have a lot of time to chat, what with practice and all.”

“Oh, that’s right,” I smacked my forehead dramatically. “You’re on the basketball team, right?”

“That’s right,” he nodded. “I’m also the quarterback for the football team. You should come hang sometime!” He held open the exit door for me, and I smiled in appreciation before throwing a quick glance over my shoulder. Mike had his back turned to me, but I could just make out the telltale slump of his shoulders as he slinked back over to a fuming Jessica. I felt more than a little guilty for letting him continue in his blind pursuit of my heart, but I didn’t have the emotional energy to hurt his feelings.

“Maybe someday,” I said, turning my attention back to Tyler. And I genuinely meant it, although I was somewhat apprehensive when it came to sports.

“That’s what’s up!”

His smile was contagious, and I found myself giving him one in return. Tyler wasn’t hostile in the slightest, nor was he making any attempts to hit on me. He genuinely seemed interested in what I had to say, and I couldn’t help but feel a little lighter as a result of this unexpected but pleasant interaction.

Of course, it was all abruptly ruined when I heard a silky voice calling to me from several yards away. “Bella. I’d like to talk to you.”

_ **Run.** _

Before I got the chance, Tyler whipped around and gave Edward an icy stare. He seemed angry for whatever reason. “Cullen bothering you?” He asked.

I made the split decision to handle this as peacefully as possible. Shaking my head no, I said “he’s just … um, Edward is my lab partner. We have a project.”

_ **Runrunrunrunrunrun.** _

“Oh,” Tyler sighed in relief, somehow falling for my very obvious lie. “Well, you let me know if anyone gives you a hard time, alright? Especially the Cullens. They give me some weird vibes, man.”

I nodded, giving him my biggest smile as thanks. He gave me one last gentle clap on the shoulder before taking off in the opposite direction. “See you later, Bella!” He called over his shoulder.

_ **No.** _

I waved at him before reluctantly turning around to face Edward, who had already caught up to me.

“Bella,” he said again. “Hi. I wanted to talk to you.”

_ **Nononononono.** _

“Okay,” I said flatly.

“Okay,” he breathed, his voice more than a little shaky. “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted towards you last week.”

A look of surprise must have flashed across my stony face, because he continued on with his spiel a little faster than before: “I hope that you didn’t take my actions personally. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just wasn’t feeling my best that day, and … uh, I am afraid that I may have made you feel rather unwelcome. I swear to you, that wasn’t my intention,” he finished. He was gnawing at his plump bottom lip, his perfect eyebrows knitted together.

I didn’t really know how to respond to his sudden confession, so I chose to question him instead. “You were sick all last week?”

“Yeah,” he responded, his expression pained.

In lieu of answering, I chose to stare at the grime caked around the edges of my once-white sneakers.

“Bella,” he sighed. “It’s probably better that we remain as far away from one another as possible. I am not the kind of person that you should be hanging out with. Trust me, my scaring you away would probably save you a lot of misery in the long run.”

Anger boiled up inside of me once more, and suddenly, I couldn't contain it. “What does that even mean?” I snapped. “First you apologize, and then you tell me that you don’t want to have anything to do with me? Why did you even bother? In fact, what did I do to make you hate me so much in the first place?” I practically shouted.

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered, looking more than a bit defeated.

“I don’t believe you,” I admitted.

He inhaled sharply right as I said it, squeezing his eyes shut as though he were in pain.

“Edward!” Alice Cullen suddenly called out to her brother, her voice shrill. I looked over at her and saw her standing expectantly next to a shiny silver Volvo. Their Jeep was nowhere in sight, and I wondered in spite of myself how many cars their family actually owned.

“Bella,” Edward started once more, but I held up my hand to silence him.

“Your sister is waiting for you,” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

“Alice,” he bit out, “can most definitely wait.”

“Well … I can’t,” I retorted. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” I turned in the direction of my truck, trying my best to conjure up every ounce of confidence within me.

“Bella, stop!” Edward’s voice sounded urgent all of a sudden, but I didn’t look at him. Instead, I stomped further away from him until I heard his footsteps behind me, a little too fast for comfort.

“What do you want?” I snapped, turning to face him right as he caught up to me, right as I heard the unmistakable blaring of a car horn only a handful of yards away.

Without saying a single word, Edward turned me all the way towards him, forcing my forehead against his solid shoulder so hard that I saw stars. The only thing I was truly able to process was the sickening screech of rubber against slick pavement, followed by the grating sound of metal being torn apart.

_ **Not again, not again, not again!!!** _

After a few seconds, I wriggled out of Edward’s grasp and peered over at the crash in spite of myself. The entire left side of my truck had been smashed in, but that was nothing compared to the damages sustained by the smoking van that had collided with it only seconds ago. Inside, the airbags had failed to go off, and there was nothing to conceal the stomach-churning sight of Tyler Crowley’s slumped upper body hanging over the rusty steering wheel. Even from a distance, I was able  
to detect an unmistakable trickle of blood streaming from the top of his forehead, as well as a telltale smear across the rim of the wheel.

_ **Not again, oh god, nononononononononononono!!!** _

I managed to squeeze my eyes shut right as my puny shell of a body made contact with the rock-hard, frozen pavement. The half-healed gashes on one of my knees re-opened as I landed roughly on my right side, and the searing pain that shot up my entire frame told me that I now had several fresh lesions running up the length of my rib cage.

_ **NonononononononoNO!!!** _

“Bella!” Edward was behind me once more, his strong, cold arms scooping my shaking body up off of the ground. “Bella, can you hear me? The police will soon be on their way. We need to move away from the crash.”

_ **Not again not again not again notagainnotagainnotagain!!!** _

He must have somehow sensed that I wasn’t able to move on my own, because he had me nestled in his arms in a flash. He gently maneuvered me away from my original spot, taking great care to shield my eyes with one pale hand while he looked for a place to set me down. Within a number of minutes, I felt my body being laid out on a sloped metal surface that I immediately recognized as the hood of his Volvo.

I cracked open my eyes to gaze up at the two concerned faces that were staring down at me. Edward looked beside himself with worry, and tiny Alice Cullen had her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration. If the circumstances had been any different, I would have felt overwhelmingly self-conscious as her eyes swept all the way from my dirt-encrusted shoes, to my blood-soaked jeans, to my undoubtedly empty expression. Instead, I was numb.

“Hello,” she chirped a little too breathily. It sounded as though she was holding her breath.

“She’s in shock, Alice,” Edward chided her. “Why don’t you wait in the car?”

For whatever reason, his sister seemed to be quite offended by this. “I’m fine, Edward.”

He was right, I was definitely unable to process everything that had just happened. It didn’t help that a massive hoard of high schoolers had assembled across the parking lot, each in varying states of distress. Their tear-streaked faces and soulful wails only further reminded me that all I was able to feel was overwhelming emptiness. In that moment, I wanted to throw myself off of the car and onto the ground. I wanted to bash my head against the cold pavement until my outsides resembled the broken shell I was on the inside. I wanted to do something, anything, to force out something resembling emotion.

_ **You killed her, you killed him. You killed them.** _

Turns out, Edward was more than happy to oblige. “Bella,” he pursed his lips. “I am so sorry that you had to witness something so … so brutal,” he rasped. “I can’t help but think that, if I hadn’t stopped you, you’d -”

_ **Nononononononono!!!** _

“Stop,” I nearly shouted, cutting him off mid-sentence. “You said that I’d be better off staying far away from you, right? Well, I believe you now. Please go away and leave me alone.” I had intended for that to come across as a harsh blow, but the ice in my tone was combated by the tears that suddenly began streaming down my cheeks.

_ **You killed them.** _

Edward looked extremely hurt, almost as if I had exposed his deepest, darkest secrets to everyone who would listen. He opened his mouth to respond, but Alice cut him off before the words could slip off of his tongue.

“Ignore him. Bella, for what it’s worth, I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

_ **No. God, please make it stop.** _

I wanted to yell at her to back off, to go and apologize to the dead boy that was slumped across the steering wheel only a few dozen yards away, but I held back by gnawing at the inside of my cheek until my mouth flooded with blood.

_ **Make it stop.** _

To their credit, both Edward and Alice seemed to take my silence as an indication that I was uninterested in conversing with either of them. Instead of talking amongst themselves, they joined me on the hood of the Volvo until the telltale blaring of sirens forced us to move even further away from the sight of the crash. It was then that I heard a familiar voice that brought a new flood of tears to my eyes:

“Where the hell is my daughter?” Charlie roared. “That’s her truck that he … that accident, it’s her car he crashed into. Someone, please tell me where Bella is!” I could hear the panic in his voice.

“Dad!” I followed the sound of his voice through the maze of vehicles, and in the process, I toppled over once more. A choked sob escaped my throat as my raw, bloody knees scraped the ground, but the pain didn’t stop me from pulling myself up and stumbling over  
to my hysterical father.

As soon as Charlie caught sight of me, he rushed over to me and enveloped me in his arms. I felt a sob rip through his entire body as he scooped me up off the ground and squeezed me tightly. “Oh God, Bells. I was so damn worried, kiddo.”

We stayed like that for several minutes, neither one of us wanting to break contact. I couldn’t recall a time when Charlie had ever been this forthcoming with any sort of affection, but I was hellbent on soaking it up like a sponge. In that moment, I knew that I had never needed anything as much as I needed my dad to keep holding onto me.

“Chief?” A voice croaked.

I felt Charlie look up, felt his jaw moving against my shoulder. A silent response to an unspoken statement.

“I’ll take care of everything,” the deputy said softly. “Take care of yours, Charlie.”

Hearing those words only made me sob harder. I knew I was being disgustingly selfish by consuming all of Charlie’s attention; I was occupying time that should have been reserved for the boy whose life had been taken so suddenly and brutally from him. However, I couldn’t bring myself to untangle my arms from my father’s neck.

He seemed to sense my overwhelming inner turmoil. “Come on,” he whispered, locking his arms around me as tight as he possibly could before starting in the direction of the cruiser. “Let’s go home.”

I nodded into his shoulder before shifting slightly so that I could peer over at Edward and Alice. The two of them had walked back over to their Volvo, and even from a distance, I could see that they were both staring back at me, talking quietly amongst themselves. I felt a shiver flit up my spine.

“Hang on, Bells,” Charlie said softly, his voice still thick with tears. “I know it’s cold, but we’re almost to the cruiser. Just hang on.”

I forced myself to drop their gaze by hastily burying my face in the crook of his neck. His grip on me was firm and gentle, even more gentle than Edward’s had been, and I found myself nuzzling against him like a wee child, crying quietly into his jacket. Once we reached the car, he set me down gently and proceeded to buckle my seatbelt before handing over the tear-stained article.

“You’re ready to go home, right?” He whispered.

I knew the meaning behind his words. He was preparing to lose me all over again, to drive me to the airport and send me back to my mother if that’s what it took to numb the pain into non-existence. His cheeks were raw and tear-stained, and his shoulders were still shaking after carrying the weight of me all the way to the cruiser. The bags under his eyes mirrored mine, almost as though he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep in ages. He was breaking at the seams just like me.

Without any further hesitation, I whispered “I’m already home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, make sure you're checking out the playlist so you can listen to the songs I reference at the beginning of every chapter! I won't link it every single chapter, but if you check it out, please let me know what you think of my selections! Please know that I adore all the comments people send, and I'd love to hear your critiques and feedback. 
> 
> As far as this chapter goes, I wanted to explain a few of the decisions I made:
> 
> First of all, I didn't originally write Tyler's death into the story. It just sort of happened, mainly because I wasn't satisfied with how things were going in my original outline. It was really hard for me to do, especially because I grew really attached to the somewhat-OOC version of him that I wrote into this story. Unfortunately, I felt as though his death made sense: Edward didn't have to knock his car sideways to keep him from crushing Bella, so the impact was much worse. I feel like a lot of canon is just 'right/wrong place at the right/wrong time', and if you adjust the story-line, things fall into place much differently.
> 
> Secondly, I know some of you may feel like Charlie is OOC as well. I will politely disagree! He almost lost his daughter, and seeing Tyler's death really shook him up. Therefor, he was very physically affectionate with her. Also, you have to remember that, in this story, Bells grew up with her dad. They're more comfortable around one another, and even after Bella left home, that bond didn't wear down. This tragedy has made her realize that she missed him a lot, and his fear of not being enough for his daughter has also come into play.  
I wanted to write things this way because I'm trying to establish the idea that, no matter who Bella falls in love with, her dad is always going to be the first important man in her life. I despise the way that SMeyer screwed them both over by making Charlie an afterthought, i.e. when Bella is willing to let Edward change her without any thought for her other loved ones. Personally, I believe that this is way out of character for someone as self-sacrificing and caring as Bella Swan. So yeah, that's my two cents on this chapter!
> 
> P.S., some of you are starting to get ideas as to what the underlying conflict is. Totally feel free to ask questions about it!


	5. Chapter V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard trigger warnings for this one, folx. Sorry it took so long to deliver this to y'all! I've had a lot to handle, what with the semester ending soon.

Chapter V:

you in the sea  
on a decline,  
breaking the waves.  
watching the lights go down;  
letting the cables sleep.  
~  
Bush | Letting the Cables Sleep

* * *

The next morning, I was ripped out of a terrifying vortex of nightmares by the sound of my own blood-curdling screams. In an instant, I pulled myself up off of the mattress and clamped my mouth shut, but the damage had already been done. Charlie was barreling into my room at breakneck speed, his eyes wide with terror. 

“Jesus, kiddo,” he groaned. “You scared the daylights out of me.”

I was unable to form a reply. All I could do was stare up at him, my expression undoubtedly meek and brimming with despair. 

_ **Stupid.** _

Luckily, Charlie didn’t demand any sort of explanation from me. Instead, he seated himself beside me and pulled me onto his lap as though I were a child. “You’re okay, Bells,” he soothed, running his calloused fingers through my hair. “You’re safe now.”

I rested my cheek against his shoulder and glanced over at my alarm, which read 10:43 am. The realization that I had missed the first few hours school only made me sob harder, and my tears dripped onto Charlie’s pale blue nightshirt, staining it dark. 

_ **Stupidstupidstupid. ** _

“I’m so sorry,” I hiccuped, flinching as my tears made contact with my burning cheeks. “I don’t know what happened, but my alarm just never -”

“Bella,” Charlie coughed. “It’s okay, baby. I shut your alarm off after you went to bed last.”

I glanced up at him, teary-eyed and with confusion written across my face. “What?”

He nodded. “I got a call from Principal Greene. He and I both agreed that you needed a few days to process everything that’s happened.”

“But next week is spring break.”

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice thick with resolve. “So it is.”

I opened my mouth wide, a string of protests on the tip of my tongue. However, before I could speak, Charlie held up a hand to silence me. “Bells … baby, you are the most important thing in the world to me, do you know that?”

_ **Run. ** _

I looked up at him, looked deep into his eyes. Just like yesterday, they shone with unshed tears. I bit my lip, nodding wordlessly. 

He swallowed, and I could hear his breathing; ragged and shaky. “You always say that you’re alright, Bella. No matter what, you’ve always been okay, and I’ve always taken your word for it. I’m starting to think that,” he paused, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know. Like I should have been paying closer attention to you all these years.”

_ **No. Runrunrun. ** _

I was freezing suddenly, so much so that my teeth started to chatter. It was as though my blood had turned to ice inside my veins, chilling me to the bone. “Dad,” I whispered, “Everything from yesterday is still so fresh. Just give me a few days, and then I really will be okay.”

He flinched, clenching his teeth as though he were in pain. “Bella, I’m not just talking about what happened yesterday, honey. I’m talking about these past couple of years, how nothing has really been okay since before you left for Phoenix. I mean …” he paused, staring down at his hands, “I haven’t been alright either, kid. Not since … not since Sarah died. I can’t say I’ve been the same since that accident.”

_ **No. You killed her. ** _

  
I nodded in response, but I was unable to move an inch, almost as if doing so would cause me to wither away into nothing. His words had sliced into me like shrapnel, decimating the carefully crafted barriers within the husk that was my mind. I wanted to scream, wanted to beg Charlie never to say her name again, but my tongue was shattered glass and my brain had been ground into dust. 

Luckily, he decided not to push the subject further. However, he remained next to me, allowing me to rest my head against his lap. Somewhere down the line, the emptiness inside of me swallowed me whole, and we became one and the same. My eyelids fluttered shut, and Charlie’s breathing became the white noise that infiltrated the barren landscape of my dreams. 

_ **You killed her.** _

* * *

The second time I woke up, it was well past noon. Regardless, I still felt as though I could sleep for several more hours. Right as my head found the soft curve of my feather pillow, however, I heard the sound of the doorbell, followed by several soft voices that were indistinguishable to the human ear. 

Curious, I slipped out of bed, silently edging towards the door. I managed to nudge it open a few inches with only minimal creaking, but I remained still just in case I had alerted the interlopers to my presence upstairs. 

“I’m sorry, Edward, Alice. Bella is asleep right now,” I heard my father say.

The Cullens? I gave an incredulous squeak before covering my mouth with the sleeve of my pajamas. Just yesterday, I had gone to school assuming that Edward Cullen hated my guts. Now, only 24 hours later, he and his sister were at my doorstep, casually conversing with my father. I knew nothing for sure, except for the fact that I wanted nothing more than for them to go away. The last thing I needed was more of their overwhelming concern.

** _Stupid._ **

“That is fine. We completely understand Bella’s need for privacy,” said Edward. “She and I have a class together, so we offered to stop by your home and deliver her all of the work she will be missing.” 

“Well,” Charlie muttered, “that’s very kind of you.”

It was Alice who spoke next. “Please let Bella know that, if she finds the time, our family would love to entertain her at our home someday soon. We do hope that she feels better soon.” 

_ **Stupidstupidstupid.** _

“Thank you,” Charlie replied. “I will be sure to let her know …” His voice grew softer, and after that, I was no longer able to make out any more than bits and pieces of the conversation. 

I tiptoed back to bed, and within a few moments, I heard the telltale clicking of the front door, followed by the snapping of a deadbolt. Charlie must have returned to his usual spot in the living room, because I heard him switch on the TV. 

Knowing that Edward and Alice were a safe distance away, I wandered downstairs, doing my best not to trip and bust open the newly-formed scabs on both of my kneecaps. “Hey, dad.”

Charlie swiveled around in his seat, his face nearly unreadable. “Hey, kiddo. Edward and Alice Cullen were just here. They wanted to drop that off for you,” he said, pointing at a neatly-compiled stack of papers peeking out of a cream-colored folder on the coffee table. 

_ **Stupid. ** _

“Great. Thanks, dad.” I flopped down next to him, taking great care to avoid knocking over a plate of reheated leftovers that he had positioned next to him. I could sense that he was nervous, so I made sure to mentally plot the quickest, easiest means of escape to my room, just in case he tried again to venture into dangerous territory.

“Your mom called earlier. I told her you were asleep,” he offered, a bit too casually. 

_ **Runrunrunrun. ** _

I groaned softly. “Does she know?”

“What do you want me to do, Bells? She’s your mother, and she has a right to know.” Charlie appeared resolute, although his voice was tinged with guilt.

** _RUN. _ **

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders at him. He was right, I knew that much. However, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with my neurotic mother and her crushing protectiveness. 

And then dropped the other shoe: “I let her know that I’ve made you an appointment with a counselor,” he muttered, staring down at his hands.

_ **RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN.** _

“What? When?” I yelped, the words tumbling out of my mouth. 

“Tuesday of next week,” came his too quick reply. 

“Why?” I choked. 

Charlie sighed sharply, his face contorting in frustration. “I don’t know, Bella. I want you to talk to someone. Preferably a therapist, or even just a counselor. Is there a difference? Hell, I don’t even know.” He shrugged incredulously. “We can’t just pretend like,” he paused, his expression pained, “like it didn’t happen. We’ve both been trying, and clearly, we’ve been doing a damned awful job at it. I mean, how long have these nightmares really been going on? Don’t lie to me, Bells.” 

** _No. Stop. StopstopstopstopstopSTOP._ **

He was staring at me, clearly waiting for some sort of response. However, when I opened my mouth to speak, the only sound that came out was something like a throaty, guttural moan. A single tear ran between my lips, filling my open mouth with a bitter, salty taste.

“Bella,” he whispered, his face a taut mask of pain. “How long, baby?”

_ **STOP.** _

“Almost four years,” I mouthed, unable to make a single sound. Several more tears dripped down my chin and vanished under my shirt. 

_ **You killed her. ** _

Charlie looked crestfallen, but not at all surprised. However, he didn’t get a chance to speak before the phone rang, cutting through the thick wall of silence that threatened to consume us.

“That might be your mother,” he said regretfully, pulling himself up off of the couch. “I’ll answer it, okay?”

I nodded, steadying my trembling figure against the right arm of the couch. No matter what my mother had to say to me, no matter how anxious and clingy she became, it couldn’t be any worse than the torturous, one-sided mess of an ordeal that I had just been put through. I would endure Renee for hours if it meant ending the conversation that Charlie seemed determined to start.

“Swan residence,” I heard Charlie grunt into the kitchen phone. And then, almost immediately, “Jenkins? What happened?”

I glanced over at him in spite of myself. He had gone as white as a sheet, and his entire body seemed rigid, almost as though he had died standing upright. His expression was frighteningly similar to the one that he had worn yesterday, before he had seen me and was able to determine that I had not been harmed in the accident. Without thinking, I got up and crept up next to him in order to gauge the situation. 

“Call the station immediately,” he rasped, squeezing his eyes shut as though he were suffering with a terrible migraine. “I’ll be on my way as soon as possible, you hear?” And with that, he slammed the phone against the receiver and turned to stare at me, his face grim. “Get your coat on, Bells, and grab some overnight supplies from upstairs.” 

_ **Run.** _

“Why?” I choked out. My heart was beating at a thousand miles per minute. 

“There’s been an incident down by the marina,” he said. His face was grief-stricken, and I knew immediately that, whatever had happened, the situation was dire. “They need me at the scene right away, and I have no idea when I’ll be back. I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

Something in the way his eyes were brimming with frustrated, fearful tears told me that protesting wouldn’t be good for either of us, nor would asking about the situation outright. After a few split seconds, I decided that the safest course of action was to do as Charlie said. I nodded before scampering up the stairs to grab my backpack. 

_ **RUN.** _

Since I wouldn’t be attending school for the rest of the week, I dumped out the contents of it onto my bed and stuffed it full of a few random articles of clothing. All the while, I attempted to soothe the rapid-fire beating of my heart, trying and failing to assure myself that, whatever had just happened, Charlie had the situation under control. 

_ **RUNRUNRUN.** _

I was halfway down the stairs when I heard my father’s voice again. He was on the phone once more, this time with someone else. I could just barely hear the faint rumbling of a deep, male voice on the other line. When he saw me, he muttered into the receiver: “I’ll have her over at your place in just a few minutes.”

_ **RUN, STUPID.** _

He saw me standing at the bottom of the stairs, my eyes wide and tinged with fear. He spoke first, not giving me the chance to pepper him with questions. “Are you ready to go?”

“Where am I going?” I replied, my tone apprehensive. 

He swallowed hard, his eyes betraying an overwhelming fear that made my blood run cold.“I’m taking you to the Rez, Bells. Just until I can be here to make sure that you’re safe.”

_ **NO. RUN, STUPID.** _

“Safe from what?” I croaked.

He seized his coat from the closet by the front door, his hands shaking. “Do you remember Waylon Forge?”

“Of course,” I nodded. Waylon was Charlie’s old friend; the two had worked together at the station for years, since before I was even born. 

Charlie’s face was grim, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse and thick with misery. “Jenkins just found his body down by the Marina, Bells. We don’t quite know what happened, but it looks like he’s been murdered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? We're finally unraveling Bella's trauma(s), but a new mystery has presented itself! Please leave me comments, because they make my day. As always, please check out the Eventide playlist if you want a compilation of the music I feature throughout the fic.


	6. Chapter VI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Here’s the next chapter!

Chapter VI.

The hairs on your arm will stand up

at the terror in each sip and in each sup.

Will you partake of that last offered cup

or disappear into the potter's ground

when the man comes around?

~

Johnny Cash | The Man Comes Around

* * *

When I was a little girl, Charlie and I would spend most of our summers on the shore of First Beach, a small cove on the outskirts of La Push. Whilst there, he would fish while I stumbled up and down the narrow strip of shore, collecting handfuls of shiny pebbles worn down and smoothed over by the waves. 

Being the cautious, clumsy child that I was, I rarely stepped foot into the water. When I did, the waves never brushed past my knees, and I would quickly grow bored before returning to the sandy, dry parts of the beach. However, on one particularly hot day, I grew brave and decided to venture out into the depths in order to cool off. 

After several minutes of splashing about in the frigid water, I discovered the joys of an existence undefined by gravity. For once in my life, I could move about freely without skinning my knees or busting my elbows. However, it soon came to an end, just as all good things do. My father was calling me from the shore, warning me of the incoming tide. 

It rolled in quickly, so much so that I was caught off guard. The dark, murky water, which now tickled the bottom of my chin, had risen substantially, and I was beginning to grow tired. In the distance, I saw Charlie rushing out to meet me, his face a mix of shock and fear. I continued to move towards him, determined to meet him halfway. 

I had almost made it when I felt my foot catch on a sharp, jagged object. I lost my balance, and just as I opened my mouth to scream in pain, an enormous wave propelled into me, filling my mouth and nostrils with freezing, salty water. I attempted to regain my footing, but another wave had already smacked into me, pushing me forward at breakneck speed before sucking me back into the depths. 

I could hear Charlie’s terrified screams and desperate splashing, but I was unable to fight back amidst the frigid torrent of murky water that overwhelmed my senses. Soon, everything began to fade to black as I fought weakly to move above the waves. Later, I was informed that, by the time my father reached me, I had already been unconscious for several seconds. Charlie had been lucky enough to grab ahold of my hair before another powerful wave swept me away for good. 

When I awoke, I was surrounded by a gaggle of concerned nurses, each of whom informed me that I was tremendously lucky to be alive. They told me that I had lost a large chunk of skin on a piece of driftwood, which led to fourteen stitches and a gnarly-looking scar on the bottom of my foot. Additionally, I also swallowed several mouthfuls of water, which had to be forcibly pushed from my lungs on the way to the hospital. They said that, if Charlie hadn’t had access to a radio, I likely wouldn’t have made it.

I was so very lucky to be alive. 

Now, as I pressed my flushed cheek against the chilly cruiser window, I wondered when that luck had run out. For years since the incident at First Beach, trouble constantly seemed to be biting at my ankles, threatening to destroy what little stability I had left in my life. Try as I might, I could no longer convince myself that I wasn’t somehow at fault for the horrifying circumstances that had befallen Forks since my sudden return. 

** _You killed them. _ **

I forced myself to watch as we drove through the outskirts of town, trying all the while to still my hummingbird heartbeat. Knowing that Charlie would be unable to provide me with any comfort, I attempted to distract myself by nipping at a scraggly hangnail and fidgeting with the buttons on the ancient, staticky stereo until I located a familiar tune by Johnny Cash:

_ There's a man goin' 'round and takin' names,  _

_ and he decides who to free and who to blame. _

I hummed along absentmindedly whilst gnawing at my weeping finger. Within seconds, a harsh, coppery taste flooded my mouth, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut in order to keep from blacking out against the headrest. 

** _You killed them. _ **

Charlie finally spoke for the first time in several minutes. “Billy said you’re welcome to stay the night,” he coughed, sounding nervous. It was almost as though he’d spent the past several minutes contemplating these words and how best to deliver them. 

** _Run. _ **

I didn’t bother forming a response. I had suspected that this plan of Charlie’s involved the Black family, but I had hoped that my father would know better than to send me there, especially given the conversation that had occurred between us less than an hour ago. However, I knew better than to argue with my father in that moment. Waylon was one of Charlie’s closest friends, and now he was dead. I would suffer silently if it meant that I was able to ease the burden carried by my father. 

_ The hairs on your arm will stand up _

_ at the terror in each sip and in each sup. _

My heart nearly dropped into my stomach when I felt the wheels of the cruiser skid against a rough patch of gravel, indicating that we had pulled off of the main road and onto the Black’s property. 

** _Run. _ **

I attempted to steady my breathing, all the while swallowing selfish, wicked pleas to be returned home. When I felt the cruiser stop, I dug my jagged nails into the smooth, fleshy surface of my palms before reaching for the handle of the door. 

“Bella,” Charlie’s voice stopped me just as I was about to slide out of the vehicle. 

I turned to look at him, and was immediately struck by the grief etched across his face. Without a word, he leaned over and enveloped me into his arms before releasing a shaky, ragged breath. 

“Be safe, kiddo,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“You too, dad.” 

“Always am,” he grunted. 

After giving him one last squeeze, I ducked out of the cruiser and slammed the passenger door shut. Within seconds, he was peeling out of the driveway and spraying gravel every which way. 

** _Run._ **

_ Voices calling, voices crying; _

_ some are born and some are dying.  _

_ It’s alpha and omega’s kingdom come. _

My soft, shaky humming was the only thing protecting me from an empty, harrowing silence. Knowing that it was time to rip off the old bandaid, I turned around and slowly crunched my way towards the small, brick-red cottage that stood at the edge of the clearing. 

** _Run. _ **

Just a handful of days ago, I had brought Billy and Jacob home in my clunky, old truck. However, I hadn’t allowed myself to get a good look at the home in which I had spent most of my childhood. Now, as I marched towards the door, I discovered that it was almost exactly as I remembered, save for a few details: The red paint had faded somewhat, and the once-lavish, exotic flowers had rotted in their beds. Additionally, the ancient, creaky stairs had been replaced by a worn-down, wooden ramp fit for a wheelchair. 

** _Run. _ **

I was so lost in thought that I did not notice the burly figure staring at me through the smudged-up window. However, I had scarcely made it to the ramp before he decided to reveal himself by violently throwing open the squeaky front door. 

“Jake!” The blood-curdling scream that escaped my lips sounded almost like something out of a horror movie. 

Of course, the naughty culprit showed no signs of shame. Rather, he had his head thrown back in booming, gleeful laughter as he reached out to envelope me in a hug. 

Heart still hammering in my chest, I scoffed at him before returning his hug. Even as he crushed me against his chest, I tried my best to appear indignant.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” he sighed, his voice still shaky from laughter. “I honestly didn’t mean to freak you out. I just got really excited when I saw you coming up the road,” he admitted. 

“Sure you didn’t,” I snorted, glaring down at my mud-caked sneakers. However, I allowed him to throw an arm over my shoulder and lead me into the house. 

Once he had taken my oversized jacket and thrown it over the back of the sofa, he flopped onto the massive loveseat that had been there since before either one of us was born. I swore that, upon impact, a massive cloud of dust puffed out from the underside of each cushion. 

“Sit,” he commanded, patting the spot next to him with gusto. 

Too weary to protest, I obeyed without question. He immediately switched on the ancient TV before stretching his legs out to rest on the large coffee table. 

“Charlie said you’ll be staying the night here,” he informed me. “Dad had me change the sheets in the twin’s room, but you know you can totally crash on the couch if you prefer.”

I fought back the urge to laugh at the formality, thinking back to the countless nights I slept over as a child. Charlie used to drop me off whenever he worked an overnight shift at the station, meaning that this house had, quite literally, been like a second home to me for most of my childhood. However, I should have known that things would be different. I sincerely doubted that Jacob still spent each night counting the glow-in-the-dark stars that we had stuck to his ceiling in middle school. I had left, and as a result, our dynamic had shifted. I only had myself to blame. 

“Thanks,” I finally said. “I think I’ll sleep in the bed.”

“Cool,” he mumbled. “By the way, Charlie told me what all went down yesterday. I have the truck out back. I can fix it up for you, if you want.”

** _You killed them. _ **

I thought about it for a moment, my heart fluttering nervously. Did I even  _ want  _ my truck back? Or would the memory of Tyler Crowley’s contorted, pale frame haunt me each time I gripped the steering wheel?

Unsure of what to say, I decided the safest option was to nod my head yes. Worst case scenario, I would allow Jacob to sell the truck off to someone else. 

We spent the next few hours in relative silence. Jake continued to watch TV, and I idly picked holes in my worn, threadbare blue jeans whilst leafing through a dog-eared novel that I had thought to throw into my bag. 

Eventually, he peeled himself off of the sofa and disappeared for several minutes. I heard the microwave beep, and soon thereafter, the smell of fried food began wafting from the tiny kitchen. My mouth watered, and it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten at all that day.

Within a few minutes, Jacob reappeared with a massive, heaping platter of steak fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets. He also had two large dinner plates and a sizeable bottle of ketchup tucked under his left arm. 

He must have caught me staring, because he shot me a massive, goofy smile. “Thought you might be hungry,” he chuckled. 

I couldn’t help but return his grin as I watched him eagerly stack his own plate full of food. “You thought  _ I  _ might be hungry?” 

The laugh I provoked out of him made my heart soar inside of my chest. “Hey, now, Bells. I’m a growing boy. This is practically a requirement for survival.”

I rolled my eyes playfully before filling my own plate and settling into the cushions. My heart still beat with fear, but just for a moment, I was able to convince myself that the chaos that had infiltrated my everyday life was just a fragment of my imagination. I was safe and secure, and even though I knew the feeling would eventually fade, I was content for the time being. 

After finishing my meal, I was beginning to feel the beginnings of a nap coming on. However, Jacob was already stacking my plate full of food and waving a fry in my face. 

I stared at him indignantly, my mouth clamped shut. “I’m full,” I whined through clenched teeth. 

“Tough shit,” he smirked.

“Jake!” I snapped, opening my mouth to fully say his name. He knew how I felt about his uninhibited usage of profanity. 

Instead of protesting, he offered me a wide, toothy grin before popping the fry into his own mouth. “I know, I know,” he sighed. “I just wanted to see if Bella was still hiding in there after all these years.” 

I stared at him for several long moments, my heart at a standstill while I tried desperately to decode the meaning of his words. Was this Jacob’s way of informing me that he missed me? That he was just as nervous and fearful as I was? That he didn’t blame me for leaving after ...

Before I could contemplate any further, he seized the plate of food from me and proceeded to continue stuffing his face. Smiling, I leaned back against the cushions and shut my eyes, trying my best to banish all of the unwanted thoughts that were knocking on the door of my mind. 

* * *

That night, I spent what seemed like a tiny eternity drifting in and out of sleep. One minute, I would be fully awake, only to drift off for several long moments, as though I were being carried away by a gentle tide. However, right as I reached a state of peace, something would jerk me awake, and I would spend the next several moments clutching myself and rocking back and forth in absolute agony. 

Eventually, my breathing would slow and my eyelashes would flutter shut. It seemed as though I had finally exhausted myself enough to remain asleep throughout the night, but … 

_ … there was something … _

… just before dawn, I was forced awake to the sound of my own teeth chattering. My heart beat against my ribs as though it were trying to break free, and … 

….  _ there was someone in my room.  _

** _Run. _ **

I opened my eyes and tilted my head so that I could get a good look at the window. The cracked, peeling frame had been pushed up several inches, causing the yellowed curtains to flutter ever so slightly in the early morning breeze. 

** _Run. _ **

I slid out of bed and wandered over to the window, all whilst wrapping my skinny arms around my own trembling frame and trying to remember whether or not I had opened it myself before settling down for the night. It took several moments, but I finally worked up the courage to try and push it open by a few more inches, just to test my theory. It wouldn’t budge. 

** _Run._ **

Having subjected myself to the frozen chill of morning, I attempted the window once more, this time aiming to seal it shut. After several attempts and one broken fingernail, I finally succeeded.

Satisfied, I flipped the latch shut before turning around and heading back to bed. However, I was stopped dead in my tracks when I caught sight of a shadow looming near the door. A scream escaped my lips, soft and shrill. 

** _Run. _ **

“Bella,” I heard Billy whisper. “Bella, what are you doing?” He moved into the light so that I could clearly see his face. His voice was not unkind, but there was something in his gaze that told me it was absolutely imperative that I lie. 

“I opened the window for some air,” I choked out. “It got really cold.”

** _Run. _ **

He nodded, at least pretending to be satisfied with my answer. Even so, the ever-present smile plastered across his face did not seem to reach his eyes. 

** _Run. _ **

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” I stammered. “I mean … yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t,” he replied. “I have always been an early-riser, even now that I’m stuck in this chair.”

I nodded, unable to break eye contact. Somehow, despite having known this man for years, I felt as though he were a stranger. 

** _Run. _ **

He continued. “Bella, I am glad that Charlie felt it safe to bring you here,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “You do feel safe, I hope.”

I nodded, but inside, my guts were churning. It wasn’t that Billy himself made me feel unsafe, but something about the way his eyes drifted from me to the window and then back to me made me feel as though he was hiding something. 

“Good. Holler if you need anything, alright?” He began to maneuver his wheelchair in the opposite direction before turning to flash me one last smile. Relief flooded through my veins as he slowly disappeared from view. 

Exhausted, I stumbled back to bed and found myself snuggling under the duvet until sleep found me once more. Luckily, I managed to stay asleep until later that morning, when I awoke to the sound of soft rainfall thudding against the roof. 

Sliding out of bed, I changed out of yesterday’s jeans and into a newer, cleaner pair. I also threw on an old t-shirt that I had hastily jammed into my backpack without much fuss. I then set out to find Jacob, who was, most predictably, holding a plate loaded up with what appeared to be half a box of Egg-O waffles. 

“Morning, Bells,” he said cheerfully, his lips coated in sticky maple syrup. 

“Hey,” I murmured. “Mind if I grab a bite to eat?”

Suddenly, a blush colored his cheeks, transforming his entire face into that of a bashful boy. “Um, sure. I can make you something if you’re hungry.”

“You look a little tied up, Jake,” I nodded at his full plate. “I know where everything is, so I could just make myself something.”

His embarrassment only seemed to intensify. He gestured for me to come closer, and I did so reluctantly, unsure of what to expect. 

He coughed. “Dad hasn’t really been the same since the accident, Bella.” His voice was hushed, and his face was colored with a kind of seriousness that I had never seen him wear before. 

My mouth ran dry, and suddenly, I lacked any trace of an appetite. “Yeah,” was all I could say. 

** _You killed them. _ **

“It only got worse after Rach and Becca left home,” he mumbled, his voice tinged with bitterness. “It’s just me and dad, and he can’t really do much when it comes to cleaning up after himself. I do the best that I can, but I’m always at school, or working on homework, or -”

I raised my hand, silencing him. “Jake, stop. You don’t have to explain yourself, okay? I get it.”

He nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“Besides,” I continued. “Don’t you have school … literally right now?”

He snorted. “In an hour. But you act as though you normally wouldn’t be at school yourself, Bells. You’re not  _ that  _ much older than me, you know.”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I slapped him gently across the shoulder before turning on my heels and slipping into the kitchen. 

Jacob was right; it was an absolute war zone. The sink was filled to the brim with unwashed dishes, and the counters were covered in a thin, greasy film. Worst of all, my shoes seemed to stick to the floor, almost as though somebody had clumsily coated the entire surface in some unnamed sticky substance. 

Still, I could understand why the mess had gotten so out of hand. Billy was unable to walk, meaning that he was unable to wash dishes or mop floors. On top of that, Jacob was weighed down by a myriad of responsibilities that no one our age was truly equipped to handle. If anything, I was shocked that the mess didn’t extend past the confines of the kitchen. 

With my appetite long gone and my energy restored, I decided it would be stupid of me not to do something about the current state of the kitchen. After rummaging through various drawers for several minutes, I managed to locate the necessary cleaning supplies, as well as a pair of rubber gloves. Soon thereafter, I was elbow-deep in soapy water. 

Within a short period of time, Jacob popped his head in the kitchen door to stare at me, his mouth agape. I returned his gaze with pride. I had already scrubbed and rinsed clean half of the scum-covered dishes.

“Bella, you didn’t have to do this,” he protested weakly. 

“You’re gonna be late for school, Jake,” I smirked at him. 

Rolling his eyes, he scooped me up into a crushing hug before heading outside to meet the bus. Within a few minutes, he had disappeared from view. 

The next half hour was spent in silence as I scrubbed the remaining dishes clean and set them out to dry. I was in the middle of rinsing off one last jumbo coffee mug when I glanced out the window and noticed three large men approaching the front door. 

As if on queue, Billy rushed by the kitchen door, surprisingly fast on his large, bulky set of wheels. He maneuvered himself through the door before letting it slam shut behind him. 

“Billy,” I heard the tallest of the boys speak first, his voice gruff. 

“Sam,” the older man replied calmly. “Jared, Paul,” he acknowledged the other two as well, and they mumbled polite greetings in response. Without really knowing why, I craned my neck towards the open window in order to hear their voices over the sound of rushing water. 

“I was on patrol last night,” the one called Sam growled, his voice dripping with hostility. “There was one here. One we’ve never seen before.”

“What?” Billy sounded shocked. “Are you sure it wasn’t a Cullen?”

For a second, I was sure I had misheard him. That was until I heard one of the other boys speak, confirming my suspicions:

“Yeah, we’re sure it wasn’t a  _ Cullen _ ,” he sneered. 

The third boy spoke. “Can confirm, it was a nomad. Probably the same one that killed Waylon.”

Suddenly, I found myself unable to hang onto the soapy mug that I clenched in both of my fists. It crashed against the porcelain sink with a loud crack, shattering into pieces. The noise must have alerted the party outside, because the voices stopped abruptly before resuming in hushed, angry tones. 

Frustrated, I scooped the shards of the traitorous mug into the trash can before resuming my work. My heart was beating restlessly, and my stomach felt as though it was tied in knots. 

After a few moments, the three boys loudly gave their goodbyes before taking their leave. The door slammed shut once more, and I heard Billy’s grunts as he maneuvered his wheelchair across the threshold. I pretended to busy myself with scrubbing grime off the countertops as he appeared behind me, his breathing still a bit labored as he silently processed the work being done in the kitchen. 

“Wow!” He finally exclaimed. “Bella, this is so thoughtful of you,” he gasped, his smile unmistakably wide.

** _Run. _ **

“Don’t mention it,” I replied, sneaking a glance at him from across the kitchen. The lack of emotion reflected within his deep brown eyes did not slide past me this time. 

Suddenly, I could not help the wave of unanswered questions that flooded my mind and drowned out any and all other thoughts that flitted through my subconscious.  _ What is going on?  _ I wanted to scream at him.  _ Why would a Cullen be outside of your house? Is that why you were checking up on me last night? And what do these people know about who killed Waylon Forge?  _ I wanted so desperately to know the truth, to discover what it was about Billy Black, the man I had long regarded as a father figure, that sent shivers down my spine. However, I was forced to stay silent by scrubbing angrily at the grime that had imbedded itself into the countertops, as well as by biting the inside of my cheek until the skin threatened to break open. 

** _Run. _ **

I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath until Billy wheeled out of the kitchen. After I was sure that he was safely out of earshot, I leaned against the freshly-scrubbed countertop and heaved a massive sigh of relief. In spite of myself, I couldn’t help but hum absentmindedly while I attempted to organize the tangled string of thoughts that smoldered within my brain: 

_ Whoever is unjust, let him be unjust still. _

_ Whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still. _

_ Whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still. _

_ Listen to the words long written down, _

_ when the man comes around. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Please leave comments and thoughts on this chapter as I spent hours writing/editing it. Also, drop by @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen on tumblr and check out my friend! She’s helping me look over these chapters before I post them, and this fic would not be what it was without her help.


	7. Chapter VII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long :(

Chapter VII:

and lately

it's been getting harder to sleep

these muscle spasms hit me so deep

and every single night I get cold

like I can't feel my hands or my toes

and no one told me which way to go

I know but I'm still here 

~ 

Highly Suspect | Bath Salts

* * *

Several hours passed, but my stomach still remained in knots due to the bits and pieces of conversation that I had previously overheard. To make matters worse, I soon ran out of distractions: By noon, I had scrubbed at every single crusty stain and beaten each pillow free of dust, and the only thing left to tidy was the cluttered, chaotic hell within the guest room, which more closely resembled an indoor storage shed. 

I had avoided this room at all costs since after waking up, but I knew that I had to keep myself busy in order to remain calm. Billy always seemed to be nearby, and no matter how hard I tried, I was never unable to keep from withering under his suspicious, steely gaze. Therefore, I chose the lesser of two evils and entered the ominous bedroom. 

Unfortunately, no amount of labor could distract me from the constant train of thoughts that infiltrated my mind and threatened my crumbling sanity: In the hours following my eavesdropping, I had come to the uncomfortable realization that, somehow, someone had slid open my window in the dark of night and attempted to climb inside the room. Even worse, however, was the knowledge that Billy had been aware of this, leading to his checking up on me in the early hours of the morning. I wasn’t sure which of these suspicious disturbed me more, but each filled me with crippling dread all the same. 

I tried in vain to banish my paranoid thoughts by sorting through the odd assortment of objects stored within the room, each collecting a thin sheen of dust. Evidently, it had been quite some time since either Rachel or Rebecca had been home, meaning that their room had spent months in such a state. My heart ached a little at the thought of Jacob and Billy being left without a woman to look after them, but I would be a hypocrite if I blamed either one of the twins for their decision to leave. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

Just before I had reached the bottom of the stack of odds and ends, I felt my fingers wrap around a familiar object. My breath caught in my throat as I pulled it out of a stack of dusty tapestries and dog-eared novels in order to examine it for the first time in years.

It was an easel, and I knew that it had been hand-crafted by Billy, for his initials were scraped into the varnished oak surface, along with a faded engraving along the top of the frame that read  _ Sarah Black _ . I brushed my hands along the smooth surface, calling to mind the different names that the owner once gave to the watercolor paints that marred the perfect, honey-colored wood:  _ Burnt Sienna, Cadmium Green, Cobalt Blue, Indigo …  _

Suddenly, I could almost feel her with me, looking at me from over her shoulder as she dabbed paint onto a stretched canvas. Her head would tilt back in laughter as she caught sight of me, her eyes bright and her hair shimmering in the warm light of morning … 

“I see you’ve found Sarah’s old things.” 

I jumped once again at the sound of Billy’s voice before turning around slowly to face him, trying all the while to calm the rapidfire beating of my heart. 

He frowned apologetically. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Bella. I just wanted to let you know that Charlie is waiting for you outside.”

“Oh,” I breathed. “Thank you. I’ll be out of your way in just a minute.”

** _Stupid. _ **

“It’s no trouble,” he replied. “In fact, I should thank you again for tidying up the place. I haven’t seen it this clean since she passed away, you know. I’m sure she would have liked you breathing some life back into our home.” 

His tone was wistful, and in response, I felt my throat dry up and begin to burn. My vision began to blur as tears flooded my eyes as I turned my back to him, pretending to scrub at an invisible patch of dust on a wobbly bedside table. 

** _Stupidstupidstupid._ **

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat before continuing, “you know you’re welcome here anytime.”

“Thank you,” I responded quickly. “I’m sure I’ll be back soon.” I was busying myself by collecting my scattered belongings and unceremoniously shoving them into my backpack. 

** _Run. _ **

“Of course, Bella,” he replied, his emotions unintelligible. “You and Charlie are part of the family, and our family protect one another, no matter the cost. You understand, right?”

I paused suddenly, my body frozen into place. It was then that I felt his eyes boring into my back, pinning me in place like a wounded animal and causing me to shiver in agitation. I was no stranger to conflicting emotions, but I suddenly found myself unable to handle this particular onslaught. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

Finally, I forced myself to turn around and nod weakly at him. He graced me with one last unnerving smile before nodding in the direction of the door. “Charlie is waiting for you. I’ll make sure and tell Jacob that you said goodbye before you left.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled once again, no doubt betraying the feelings of discomfort that had me frozen in place. Then, without another word, I waved at him before slipping into the hallway and making a beeline for the front door. 

“Any time,” he replied from behind me. “See you soon, Bella.”

Immediately after making it outside, I heaved a massive sigh of relief before heading over to the cruiser, which was parked at the very edge of the clearing. As soon as he saw me, Charlie reached over and opened the passenger-side door. He waved at me, but his face appeared weary and aged. 

“Hey, Bells,” he said, smiling weakly. He had dark circles under his eyes, and the afternoon light seemed to emphasize the streaks of grey in his hair and mustache. “How were Jake and Billy?”

** _Run. _ **

“They’re cool,” I told him. 

He nodded, but offered no response. An awkward silence began to creep into the vehicle, and I wrapped my skinny arms around my torso to shield myself from the tension. 

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out suddenly. “About Waylon, I mean. Dad, I know he was your friend.” 

Immediately after I said it, I wanted to hit myself repeatedly until I no longer had the urge to say stupid things. However, to my surprise, Charlie hardly reacted. He kept his eyes on the road and his hands wrapped securely around the steering wheel as we began the short drive back to Forks. 

When he finally spoke, his voice was sad but steady. “I don’t know what to do, Bells. I’ve been trying to make sense of all of this, but I’m not really sure about anything anymore.”

** _Run. _ **

My blood ran cold, almost as though it had frozen inside of my veins. “What do you mean?” I questioned him, my voice small and shaky. 

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Bella, I think it would be best if I didn’t fill your head with details. I mean, you’ve had a rough couple of -”

“Dad,” I protested, “I can take it. I promise, I just want to know what's going on. It’s been eating me alive, okay?” It was true, of course. I had spent the past several hours obsessing over an incomplete picture that I hoped Charlie could make whole for me. 

He grimaced, and I noticed that his knuckles were beginning to turn white around the steering wheel. “They’re saying it was an animal attack, Bella. But … but when I showed up, there wasn’t all that much blood, and there were no signs that any large animal had been in the area. They hadn’t moved him from the boat yet, and I was almost able to convince myself … I don’t know, that he had just fallen asleep while fishing. He hadn’t been mauled or clawed, nothing.”

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“How …” I paused, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t want to upset him any further, but that uneasy feeling inside of my chest was only growing. I had to know the truth. 

Charlie caught wind of the question that I wanted so desperately to ask. “He had a gaping hole in his neck,” he grimaced. “It was almost like something … someone had cut his throat, or … it was a sight I’ll never forget, Bells, not ever. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone,” he choked. 

I swallowed, nodding my head in understanding. It was then that I realized that, despite what I had hoped, the information given to Billy this morning would not be passed along to Charlie.

Billy Black knew something about Waylon’s death that he was hiding from Charlie, and I had no way to know for sure what exactly it was. 

I reached for my father and gently squeezed his large hand in both of mine. “I’m sorry, dad.”

He nodded, his eyes swimming with tears. “I knew him going on thirty years, Bella.”

I nodded, allowing him to squeeze one of my hands in return and hoping that he did not feel how clammy my palms were becoming. I was stricken by guilt, and I wanted so badly to confess to Charlie what I had overheard this morning. However, I was unable to fight the agonizing screams of my own consciousness that begged me to remain silent, to fight through the pain of watching my father suffer in order to keep secret the information that was now burning within me. 

Thankfully, Charlie offered me a temporary distraction from the thoughts that bombarded me: “I was thinking of ordering a pizza for dinner,” he said casually, not taking his eyes off the road. 

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten all day. I had been too distracted by the disaster that was the Black’s kitchen to make myself breakfast, and overhearing Billy’s conversation with the three strange men had spoiled any trace of an appetite left within me. However, the hunger was beginning to catch up to me. 

“Sure,” I shrugged. “Sounds great, dad.” 

He nodded, and I suddenly realized that we had arrived home. I had been too lost in my own consuming thoughts to take note of my own surroundings. 

Once we got inside, Charlie made a beeline for the stairs. I sensed that he was about to crash, so I offered to order our dinner in about an hour. 

“Thank you, Bella.” His eyes were half-shut with exhaustion, but his smile was unmistakable. “By the way, remember to check through that folder full of makeup assignments that the Cullens left you. I know you have plenty of time to do them between now and the end of spring break, but it wouldn’t hurt to get your foot in the door.”

I nodded my thanks, and he slipped upstairs without another word. A few minutes later, I heard freaking as he settled into the mattress, undoubtedly already half asleep. 

Faced with the promise of several hours to myself, I located my manilla folder full of work before sifting through the fridge for a snack. I settled on a Tupperware packed with leftover chicken, which I quickly popped into the microwave all while sifting through untouched Spanish quizzes and literature assignments. 

However, I quickly noticed an outlier stashed amidst the crisp printouts. It was a small, square-shaped sheet of notebook paper, clearly ripped straight from a pocket-sized journal. Upon closer examination, I realized that it was a handwritten note covered in near-perfect, handsome scrawl. 

_ **Hello** _ ,  it began, catching me off-guard. The author wrote with a certain carefulness about them, almost as if this was the millionth time they had attempted to write the letter. Squinting, I read the rest in under a minute:

**_I wanted to let you know that I am terribly sorry for the events that transpired yesterday, as well as for my behavior leading up to the incident. It was never my intention to make you feel as though I disliked you, nor did I wish to make you feel unwelcome at any time. The truth is, you are one of the most genuine, authentic people that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I could never bring myself to hate you, even though I feel as though my_ _doing so would be better for you in the long run. If you are amenable, I would appreciate the chance to start over, and possibly become friends. If not, I will not be offended. Rather, I will be relieved that you took my advice and decided to distance yourself from an individual such as myself. Either way, I hope that you will return to school as soon_ _as you are well. I wish you all the best. _**

_ **Sincerely, ** _

_ **Edward Cullen, 564-708-9843** _

I was stunned as the thought of Edward Cullen sent my brain into overdrive and forced my blood to run cold. I was taken back once more to the conversation that I had overheard mere hours ago:  _ There was one outside, _ the man called Sam had said.  _ Not the Cullens, but a nomad.  _ I had no idea what these words meant, nor did I have the slightest idea on how they were linked together _ . _ I searched my memory, desperately trying to locate another missing piece to the puzzle, but I found nothing. 

All that I knew for sure was that, for whatever reason, Billy’s friends had been patrolling the woods in search of this  _ nomad _ , and they believed that  _ it _ had killed Waylon Forge. And somehow,  _ it  _ was linked to the Cullens, who had been steadfast in their indifference towards me up until recently. 

Suddenly, Billy’s earlier statement made its way to the forefront of my memory, forcing me to abandon my half-eaten meal in favor of sitting down on the sofa and placing my head between my knees. Before I had left, he reminded me that my father and I were both family to him, and that  _ family protects one another, no matter the cost.  _ Despite having brushed him off out of fear and discomfort, I was now starting to wonder if his words were meant not as a reminder, but as a warning.

I looked down once more at the note Edward had written me, only to find that I had crumpled it up into a tiny ball. Without thinking, I shoved it into the pocket of my jeans before picking up my half-eaten lunch and scraping it into the trash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment and tell me what you think is going to happen!


	8. Chapter VIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a lot of bad language in this chapter, but only towards the end. Also, I’m sorry for not having posted in so long. I’ll get better, I promise!

**Chapter VIII:**

These are the days that bind you together, 

forever;

and these little things define you forever, 

forever.

~

Bad Blood | Bastille

* * *

  
The next few days passed in relative silence, save for the shrill-sounding screams that clawed their way out of my throat each morning. My nightmares only seemed to grow more horrifying by the day, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would be unable to simply shake it all off and go about my morning. Luckily enough, Charlie always seemed to be gone before the sun had even risen, meaning that I was able to keep him in the dark about my worsening condition. 

After trying numerous times to send me back to Billy’s, he had relented and allowed me to stay home while he worked, so long as I promised to call the station every few hours to let him know that I was safe. Usually, I wouldn’t actually see him until he stumbled into the house sometime after dark, sleep clouding his eyes and muffling his voice. He would always stop to give me a kiss on top of my head and inform me that they still had not found whatever (or  _ whoever _ ) had done Waylon in. I would give him an affectionate pat on the shoulder and reassure him that tomorrow would be the day they found what they were looking for. 

However, things began differently on the Tuesday morning of my spring break. I woke up not to the smell of my own fear, but to that of pancakes and greasy bacon. My mouth immediately began to water; I scrambled out of bed before hurriedly pulling on a pair of jeans and tripping down the stairs in the blink of an eye. 

“You’re not at work,” I greeted Charlie, who was dressed in civilian’s clothing for the first time in several days. 

“I took the day off today. For your appointment,” he informed me before taking a massive gulp of coffee from a steaming mug. “Syrup is on the shelf by the fridge. I know you like the real maple stuff, so I picked some up before I came home last night.”

I stared at him blankly, my shoulders shrugging in confusion. 

“Your appointment with the counselor, Bells. We talked about this a couple of days ago, remember?”

My stomach immediately began tying itself in knots. “Where?” I said weakly. 

“The Forks Hospital,” he said slowly, sipping from his mug and peering at me over the rim. “I got you an afternoon appointment with Dr. Gerandy. You remember him, right?”

I did, although my memories were scattered at best. Dr. Gerandy had worked at the local hospital for years, and Charlie had tried in vain to convince me that he could solve all of my problems in the weeks leading up to my departure. Suddenly, I no longer had an appetite. I scraped more than half of the eggs back into the pan and tossed two out of my three pancakes back on the plate. 

“You didn’t tell me that I was going to see Dr. Gerandy,” I whispered. My voice was already thick with tears, and I couldn’t stop the onslaught of images that had already begun tearing through my brain: His crisp, white lab coat; two delicate hands stained with lilac, paisley, and cerulean; Charlie, with tears streaming down his face; metal, twisted and broken and bent; blood  _ everywhere.  _

** _Blood everywhere. _ **

“Three o’ clock,” he replied, and the resolve in his voice was unmistakable. “Be ready by one fifteen. We have to fill out paperwork when we get there, since it’s your first time there in several years.” There was also a great deal of sadness in his eyes, along with something that looked a lot like guilt. I dropped his gaze and instead looked down at my plate, focusing on cutting my pancakes into bite-sized morsels. Maybe if I stared at them long enough, I’d feel hungry rather than empty. 

** _Blood everywhere. _ **

After breakfast, I washed all the dishes and attempted to do homework while Charlie showered upstairs. However, I soon discovered that crippling anxiety did not mix well with advanced Spanish vocabulary, so I slid the papers back into their folder before crawling up the stairs and finding temporary solace underneath my mound of blankets. 

* * *

“Bells?” Charlie cleared his throat at me. “When did … uh, you’re not on any medications, right?”

We had only been at Forks General Hospital for fifteen minutes, and already, my stomach was clenched into a tight ball. I sighed and seized the clipboard from him. “Dad, you can just sign the paperwork. I’ll fill it out,” I whispered, trying in vain to hide the terror in my voice. 

He looked relieved. “Okay. I’ll go wait in the car,” he murmured, jotting his signature on the dotted line at the end of each of the forms. “Come on out whenever you’re done.”

I heard the door shut behind me, followed by a small whimper that I realized must have come from me. I wanted to run after Charlie, to beg him to take me away from the sterile-smelling hospital and back to the comfort of our home. However, I knew that it would only frustrate him, so I resigned myself to the small stack of crisp papers, finishing them quickly and exchanging them at the front desk for a brightly-colored lollipop. The flavor was supposed to be a mystery, but it tasted like corn syrup and bile. 

“Isabella Swan?” A creaky old voice sounded from around the corner. 

I got up, took a deep breath, and slowly trudged across the room in the direction of Dr. Gerandy, who looked about the same as when I was a kid. He was still as old and wrinkled as I had remembered, with the bushiest eyebrows I’d ever seen in my life. I briefly met his eyes, and the caterpillars moved with the corners of his mouth. 

“Bella,” he greeted me with a curt nod. “So good to see you, dear. Please, follow me.”

He led me down a series of corridors before stepping into a tiny office. It was almost uncomfortably warm, and the dusty, musty loveseat let out a small puff of dust when I sat down to face Dr. Gerandy, who’s leather armchair was positioned behind a massive desk made out of oak. 

I nibbled my fingernails while he rummaged through a hidden drawer for what turned out to be a clipboard. Once he had located it, he cleared his throat and absentmindedly drummed his wizened fingers against his the hard surface. “You’ve been away for quite some time, dear. How has life been treating you these past few years?” His tone was gentle, but his statement caused the knot in my stomach to tighten:  _ You’ve been away for quite some time.  _

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

I shrugged. “It’s been okay, I guess.”

We continued on with small talk for a few minutes. He asked me a couple of questions about Renée’s marriage to Phil, and about my decision to move back home with my father. He seemed satisfied with my answers, although he spent a great deal of time writing notes with a chewed up ballpoint pen. I kept having to wipe my palms against my jeans to get rid of the clamminess. 

Turns out, it didn’t take very long for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. “Bella,” he cleared his throat, “I know that this is a very sensitive subject, but I find it best to get straight to the point. Your father and I have talked briefly over the phone, and he informed me that you witnessed a … well, a rather unfortunate accident shortly after you arrived back in Forks.”

I cringed. “Um … yeah. T-... Tyler Crowley.”

“You have my sincerest apologies for the loss of your classmate,” Dr. Gerandy said slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. “Mr. Crowley’s death was truly devastating for each and every resident of Forks.”

“Yeah,” was the only reply I could muster. 

“Your father called my office the following day,” he continued smoothly. “He’s concerned that you’re having trouble reacclimating to life here in Forks, and that Mr. Crowley’s death only further heightened your stress levels. Which is understandable, and not at all unexpected.” He fell silent, although he continued tapping his pen against the clipboard. 

“Um,” I cleared my throat. “Sometimes I have nightmares. Um, about the … about Tyler’s accident,” I added quickly. 

He nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that, dear. As I said before, nightmares aren’t exactly out of the ordinary in situations such as this.”

I shrugged. I could feel his eyes on me, but I had become transfixed by the patterned rug beneath my feet. I refused to meet his gaze, and focused instead on steadying my labored breathing. 

He coughed once more, and leaned forward a few inches. The chair squeaked underneath his shifting weight, and I stiffened suddenly, knowing what was about to happen. “Bella, am I correct in assuming that the nightmares predate Mr. Crowley’s accident?”

This was the moment I had been dreading all morning, ever since my father uttered Dr. Gerandy’s name at the breakfast table. My chest began to tighten, and my vision became clouded with what I could only assume were the beginnings of scalding tears. I shut my eyes quickly to avoid an obvious spill, and without thinking, I pressed my nails into the delicate skin of my palms. 

“Bella?” Dr. Gerandy’s voice cut through the fog that had coiled its way around me, forcing me to stay grounded and overwhelmingly vulnerable. I wanted to run, to break free from the confines of the hospital, but I was frozen where I sat, trapped within the stuffy office. 

“I don’t know,” was the only thing I could choke out. 

“Bella,” he said once more, “the last time we spoke, you insisted that you weren’t in need of any counseling services, despite reporting that you were unable to sleep. That was almost four years ago, dear. Don’t you think it’s time to address what happ-”

“No,” I interjected snappily, “Because I wasn’t. I’m still not.” My lip quivered ever so slightly, almost as though my body were attempting to contradict me. “I don’t need any services. I just need time …” I drifted off, squeezing my eyes shut once more. 

“Bella, I respect that you’d rather be anywhere but here, dear,” he murmured kindly but firmly. “However, as your doctor, I am responsible for ensuring that you remain as safe and as healthy as possible. If your well-being has been compromised due to the … due to your past trauma, it is imperative that we find a way to help you manage it.”

A tear snuck it’s way down my left cheek and into my open mouth, filling it with the taste of salt. “I wouldn’t have had to … to deal with it. If I had stayed in Phoenix, none of this would be happening to me.”

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

Dr. Gerandy shook his head, his eyes brimming with sympathy. “My dear, no problem on earth can be fixed by running away. No matter how fast you are, your troubles will always be faster.” 

I didn’t respond, or even nod. I sat silently as he jotted down a quick note on a fresh piece of paper before ripping it loose and folding it in half. “Here you go,” he said, passing the white triangle over to me. “Bring this to Cynthia at the pharmacy down the hall. You’ve made great progress today, but I’d like to see you back very soon. Would your father be available to bring you by, say … next Tuesday, after school? Perhaps around 3pm?”

I wanted to lie, but I knew that it would be pointless. Charlie was bound to check in with Dr. Gerandy at some point, and he would undoubtedly be displeased with me for trying to weasel my way out of what he believed to be the best possible solution to my current predicament. 

I decided to nod gingerly before reaching out and plucking the slip of paper from his outstretched hands. “What’s this for?”

He smiled kindly. “Something to help you sleep a bit better. See you soon, Bella.”

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I was settled into the passenger seat of Charlie’s cruiser with a crinkly paper bag sandwiched between my thighs. Dr. Gerandy had prescribed me some Trazodone, which, according to the pharmacist, was a magical little pill that could magically erase the horrors that had been burnt onto the undersides of my eyelids. I was more than a little skeptical, but if it could lessen my misery even the slightest bit, I was willing to try it. 

Aside from a weak greeting and the occasional awkward grunt, Charlie had remained silent for the past several minutes. As soon as I situated myself, I pulled the strings of my hoodie as tight as they would go and began my usual routine of picking at a hangnail.

Finally, after several minutes, he asked, “you okay with stopping by Harry’s for some fish fry?”

I simply shrugged, unwilling to speak lest I tell my father how very not okay I was with this idea. 

“We’re just dropping by real quick, so don’t get too comfortable,” Charlie chuckled, obviously trying to lighten the mood. However, the corners of my mouth had crumbled, and I was unable to crack even the slightest of smiles in return. 

“Listen, Bells …” he mumbled, his face turning pink. “I didn’t know what else to do, okay? You ain’t seemed like yourself since you got back, and …” His eyes were pinned to the road, but I could see tears beginning to form in his eyes. “… and I couldn’t stand to watch you get like you were before you left.”

“I know,” I whispered. I wanted so desperately to continue, to tell him that I understood, and that it was okay. But I couldn’t will myself to choke out those words, no matter how hard I tried. I was completely and utterly drained. 

I avoided looking out the window as we crossed over onto the Res, knowing that I was completely unequipped to handle the memories that came with the sight. Thankfully, I was able to busy myself by fiddling with the radio and chewing on the string of my hoodie until we got to the Clearwater’s. 

Harry and Sue lived with their two children in a comfy, lodge-style home that was only a stone’s throw away from First Beach. I had spent many a summer day there as a child, helping Sue with chores and shadowing a rambunctious Leah as she dragged her little brother around the back yard. However, it had been several years since I had last been to their house, and during that period of separation, my friendship with the Clearwater children had become somewhat of an afterthought.

As I hopped out of the cruiser and onto solid ground, I determined that little Seth probably wouldn’t even remember who I was. I certainly didn’t expect him to come barreling out the front door and onto the lawn before very literally crushing my noodle body in a loving yet painful embrace. 

“Bella!” He was giggling, almost as though he had his arms wrapped around his very best friend. I couldn’t help but smile against his chest. 

“Can’t breathe, Seth,” I murmured whilst patting his back gently. 

He let me go, grinning sheepishly. I glanced over at my father, who appeared to be chuckling behind his hands, which were cupped over his mouth. He offered me an encouraging smile even as I rolled my eyes at him. 

“Come inside,” I heard Seth say, although I hardly had time to respond before I caught sight of another figure whose eyes met mine from the window on the uppermost floor of the cabin. Since the last time I saw her, Leah Clearwater had cut her long, dark hair into an attractive bob that framed her angelic face, and it appeared as though she had traded her signature eyeglasses for contact lenses. I lifted my shaking hand to offer her a casual wave, but she scowled and turned her back to me before vanishing behind a set of lace curtains. 

“Bella,” Seth grabbed ahold of my hand, his voice bearing the slightest hint of annoyance. “Dinner’s getting cold, and I’m starving.” 

“You’re hungry,” Sue appeared in the tiny foyer, reprimanding her son on his choice of vocabulary. 

“Sorry!” Seth bounded past his mother, probably to begin serving himself in the kitchen. 

She shook her head and rolled her eyes playfully before scooping me into a hug. “Bella, how I’ve missed you. You’ve grown so much, girl! Harry, come see Bella!”

“Howdy!” The jolly Harry Clearwater poked his head around the corner. He was holding a huge plate of fried fish. 

“I hope you’re not eating that all by yourself,” Sue scolded, nodding at his plate. 

Guilt flashed across his face, although he hid it quickly. “Course not, honey,” he solemnly promised.

She smirked and nodded at him. “Call Leah, tell her that she better be downstairs in five minutes. Or less. Tell her right now.”

Harry responded by turning towards the stairs and hollering his daughter’s name. I heard scuffling, and the sound of a grunt as Leah slowly made her way downstairs, obviously dragging her feet as she went. 

“Come on,” Sue said, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Let’s get you something to eat. 

Dinner at the Clearwater home was almost exactly as I had remembered it. Harry had always jokingly called himself a homemaker, as he did most of the cooking and cleaning while Sue spent her days working as a nurse. A lover of all things fried and buttered, he served us each a plate heaped with fried fish, buttered greens, mashed potatoes, and flaky biscuits. Halfway through the meal, Sue trudged up the stairs in order to retrieve her scowling daughter, who refused to do so much as look me in the eyes. However, I had very little time to ruminate over it, as Seth spent most of the time peppering me with questions about life in Arizona. 

“Are there cactuses everywhere?” He asked, his eyes wide. 

“Not everywhere,” I swallowed a huge spoonful of mashed potatoes before reaching for a chunk of bread. “Phoenix is a big city like Seattle, but we lived on the outskirts of town, so there were plenty of cacti in our neighborhood.”

“And it’s really sunny all the time?”

“Most of the time.”

“Let the girl eat her fish, son.” Harry patted his son on the shoulder. 

Seth pouted, but soon found solace in a third helping of greens. 

Halfway through the meal, Harry and my father got up to go get beers from the fridge. They soon began a conversation of their own, and try as I might, I couldn’t help but tilt my head in order to overhear what they were saying. One glance at Sue and Leah told me that they were doing the same. 

“So, any word on the Waylon case?” I heard Harry say, his voice more than a little strained. 

“No,” Charlie sighed. “But I don’t think it was an animal,” he admitted softly. 

He snorted gently, and I heard him pat my father firmly on the shoulder. “That makes two of us, Chief.”

I glanced over at Seth, who appeared to be oblivious to the conversation happening only a few feet away. He was too busy peeling apart a roll and packing it with butter and bits of fried meat. Beside him was a sizeable stack of fish bones, all of which had been picked clean. I couldn’t help but smile at that, even though my stomach was tying itself in knots at the mention of Waylon Forge. 

After supper, Sue enlisted the help of us teenagers in washing and rinsing the dishes. Leah was clearly in opposition to the demands of her mother, because she pulled her aside and began whispering soft but angry-sounding words in her ear. However, her protests were met with nothing more than a gentle shove in the direction of the sink. 

“Not another word out of you, Leah Clearwater,” she said firmly. 

The girl scowled before grabbing a sponge and a plate. The next several minutes were spent listening to Seth’s endless chatter, accompanied by the sound of angry scrubbing. 

Eventually, I worked up the courage to talk to her. “Pass me the dish soap?” I asked, pointing in the direction of the small pink bottle. 

“You have two hands,” came the crisp reply. 

I walked around her, mumbling an apology before grabbing hold of the bottle myself. I felt sick to my stomach, but I was determined not to vomit up dinner in front of a very unamused Leah Clearwater, who looked as though she relished the thought of making me suffer. 

I watched as Leah’s eyes flickered outside to the adults, who were quietly discussing something whilst taking small sips of beer. Suddenly, her smooth, soapy fingers were wrapped around my wrist, and her hot breath was tickling my ear. Her other hand reached to turn up the water on the sink, causing it to spray every which way. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, showing your face around here?”

** _Run, stupid. _ **

I glanced over at Seth, who was reaching up to put away a rather large stack of dishes. 

“Well?” Leah’s voice was pure venom. 

“I … ow,” I jerked my wrist free before nursing it in my other hand. “What’s your deal?” I scoffed at her, allowing the pain and humiliation of her sudden hostility to grant me a small shred of bravery. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know,  _ Bells. _ ” She spit out my name almost as though it tasted like curdled milk in her mouth. “You don’t belong here anymore. Not after you ran away,” she scoffed, her voice cold and her eyes steely. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Leah!” Seth had turned to face us, his face ashen. “Why would you say that to Bella? She’s our friend!” His eyes were brimming with tears, and his lower lip was quivering. Despite having grown to almost six feet tall, he suddenly looked like a child again. 

She barked a laugh in response to his statement, almost as though it was the funniest joke she had ever heard in her life. “You’re full of shit, Seth. How can you stand to look at her after what she did?” 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“Don’t talk to him like that,” I whimpered. “He’s part of your family, Leah.”

She turned to look at me once more, her mouth curled into a snarl. “What the fuck do you know about  _ family _ , Bella Swan? You left your  _ real  _ family here to go fuck off in Arizona.”

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“I didn’t have a choice,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face. 

“You had a fucking choice,” she growled, her eyes darkening. “You chose to run away, just like you chose not to come to Sarah’s funeral. You don’t know  _ shit  _ about family, you self-obsessed, traitorous -”

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Leah!” Seth screamed, his horrified expression made even more dismal by the tears scattering across his cherub cheeks. “Stop it right now.”

“Or what?” She spat, her teeth gritted. 

“Or … I’ll go get mom, Leah. She’ll be really mad once I tell her what you said to Bella.” 

** _Stupid. _ **

“Seth -” I tried to interject, but Leah cut me off with a glare so sharp, it could slice right through me as though I were nothing. 

“You wanna side with her? Fine. See if I care.” She dropped the dish she was holding, not caring that it cracked into several little pieces inside the sink. She simply turned on her heels and scampered up the stairs, her fists clenched into tight balls. 

** _Stupidstupidstupid. _ **

Once I was sure she had vanished, I allowed the grief to wash over me, bringing me to my knees. I began to sob pathetically into my open hands, covering my face in dirty dishwater. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Bella, I’m so sorry.” I felt Seth grab hold of my shoulder. “She didn’t mean any of it, I swear. Cross my heart, Bells. Please stop crying.”

I was unable to say or do anything, so I just stared up at him with sad, pitiful eyes whilst trying to relax my heaving shoulders. 

** _Stupid. _ **

“Please ignore all of what she just said,” he pleaded. “She’s been in a bad mood ever since Sam broke up with her a couple of months ago. I promise, she won’t ever say those things to you again. I swear on my life.”

“Seth,” I finally whispered. “Please don’t tell anyone that this happened, okay? It’ll only make her hate me more, and I’d just like to forget that this happened. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Okay,” he nodded slowly. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you all think! There’s only about 4 or 5 chapters left in this installment, and it’s gonna be a three-part series!


	9. Chapter IX.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s gonna be some violence / light gore in this chapter, so read with caution!

**Chapter IX:**

If you have to go, don't say goodbye.

If you have to go, don't you cry.

If you have to go, I will get by.

Someday I'll follow you

and see you on the other side.

~

Smashing Pumpkins | For Martha  
  


* * *

On Friday, Charlie and I were eating dinner at the table when my mud-streaked, brick-red Chevy pulled into the driveway, spraying gravel every which way.

I knew it was a wasted effort, but I tried to pretend as though I hadn’t noticed whilst shoveling tiny forkfuls of lasagna into my mouth. 

Charlie stared at me, and I could tell the gears in his head were turning. “Don’t worry about cleaning up. I’ll do the dishes while you go talk to Jacob, Bells.”

That was code for, _ get outside right this second and stop dawdling. _

Taking the hint, I put on my best, most smiley face, cleared my dishes from the table, and trudged outside like a soldier preparing for battle. All the while, Leah’s words echoed inside of my skull, as they had been since Tuesday: 

_ You chose to run away. You left your family. You left Jacob. _

** _All you ever do is run away, stupid. _ **

When he saw me emerge from the house, he smiled as though the sight of my face had made his entire day worthwhile. “Hey, Bells.”

He enveloped me in his arms and petted my hair gently. His warm fingertips set fire to my veins, thawing the icy tendrils of fear that had begun to overtake my body.

_ You don’t belong here anymore. You left your family. _

** _You killed her. _ **

A shiver ran down my spine as he slowly let me go, and I wrapped my arms around my own body for comfort. 

He must have felt the same way, based on the sheepish expression he wore. “I, um … the side of your truck was pretty scratched up, but I managed to fix most of the damage,” he said, gesturing awkwardly at the scratched vehicle in the driveway behind us. 

_ Pretty scratched up? _I shivered in spite of myself, remembering the sounds of shredding metal and rivets popping. 

** _Blood everywhere_ ** _ . _

“Thanks,” I gave him the biggest smile I could muster. “How much do I owe you for the repairs?” 

“You don’t have to pay me,” he scoffed, looking seriously offended that I would think to ask such a thing. “I did it because I care about you, Bells.”

I stiffened. “Come on, Jake. At least let me do _ something _ for you. I mean, how long did you spend working on the truck? _ Hours _, probably.”

His scowl deepened for a moment, but a thought must have occurred to him, because a smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth. “I know something you can do for me, now that you mention it.”

“What’s that?” I wiped my clammy palms against my jeans, feeling relieved at the thought of being able to repay him. 

“Well,” he grinned mischievously, “there’s going to be a party at La Push next weekend, with a bonfire and everything. If you would be so kind as to honor me with your company, I would consider this great debt repaid.” 

“Who’s gonna be there?” I asked casually, wiping my palms across my thighs once more. I hoped he wouldn’t detect the nervousness in my voice, brought on, of course, by the thought of seeing Leah Clearwater again. 

“Embry and Quil, of course,” he said, referring to his other two best friends. “Also, a ton of kids from school.”

“Leah and Seth?” I questioned, trying to appear excited rather than terror-stricken. 

“Uh, probably Seth. But Leah doesn’t really get out much, not since Sam broke up with her.”

“Oh,” was my eloquent response. I remembered Seth mentioning her breakup in an attempt to make me feel better, although it didn’t help one bit in either case. 

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” I replied briskly. “I’ll come to the bonfire with you, if you tell me when and where.”

He grinned. “I knew you’d come, Bells. It’s going to be on the beach next Saturday, and we can drive together if you stop by my house.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I smiled, giving him a thumbs up. 

* * *

I must have forgotten to set my alarm, because I woke up late Monday morning to the sound of light rain tapping on the roof. My heart sank when I realized that, in less than a few hours, I would be forced to return to school for the first time since the death of Tyler Crowley. 

Scowling, I crawled out of my warm bed and grabbed the closest pair of jeans to me; a crumpled up number half-wedged under my half-open dresser drawer. I paired it with a warm, loose-fitting blouse; one of the only garments my mother had gotten for me that I actually enjoyed wearing.

I was just about to leave my room when, after shoving my hands in my pockets, I felt my fingers curl around the tiny wad of paper I had forgotten was nestled in the corner. Frowning, I yanked out Edward’s note and smoothed it against the wall of my bedroom, re-reading it several times in my head. 

I had been ruminating over his words for days, yet I still couldn’t understand Edward’s hot and cold treatment of me. I wondered if he would speak to me today, or if he would simply choose to ignore me as if nothing had ever happened. 

Scoffing, I tossed his note on top of my unmade bed, resolving to get rid of it when I got home that night. Then, without a second thought, I ran downstairs, stuffed my mouth full of blackened toast, and grabbed my car keys from the hook beside the door. 

I wasn’t yet ready to return to school after all that had happened, but I figured the best thing to do was rip off the bandaid, quick and easy. 

* * *

After pulling into the main parking lot of Forks High School, I immediately caught sight of my friends talking quietly amongst themselves. 

Angela must have noticed my car pull up, because she waved excitedly in my direction. I could tell that she wasn’t sure whether or not to approach me, so I gestured for her to come over. She immediately began speed-walking in the direction of my truck. 

The others looked as though they wanted to follow her, but she turned around and gestured vaguely at them before tapping on my passenger-side window and smiling brightly. I opened the door for her, and she climbed in. 

“Hey,” she smiled again, her dimples showing. “I hope you don’t mind, I told Mike, Eric, and Jess that I wanted a couple minutes alone with you.”

I definitely did not mind. As much as I liked the three of them, Angela was the least invasive and talkative of all of my friends. I knew she wouldn’t try to pressure me into talking about anything that made me uncomfortable. 

“Thanks,” I whispered, returning her smile. “I honestly really needed that, anyway.” 

“How are you?” She patted my shoulder gently. 

I searched her eyes for a moment, and I felt my entire body relax when I failed to detect an ounce of pity within her gaze. 

“I’m okay,” I replied honestly. “What about you?”

“I’m also okay,” she sighed. “I wish I could have been to Tyler’s funeral, but I understand why his family wanted to keep it private.”

I nodded wordlessly. I hadn’t known there was a funeral, but I was thankful that I hadn’t been expected to attend. A

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she continued. “And it’s not just me, either. Everyone is very glad you weren’t hurt,” she finished, squeezing my shoulder once more. 

“Thanks, Ang,” I gave her a small smile before hopping out of my truck and following her over to our small group of friends. 

The rest of the day was spent dodging a horde of concerned, well-meaning classmates. I got a couple of forceful hugs by random people whose names I didn’t know, and several people stopped me in the hall to ask how I was. Most surprisingly, however, was the short-lived but impactful conversation I had with Jessica in the lunchroom before biology. 

“Um,” she began, awkwardly twirling her hair around her well-manicured pointer finger, “I just wanted to say … I’m glad you’re okay. We - I mean, I missed you. We all missed you, but … I missed you, you know … by myself. Apart from everyone. I just wanted you to know,” she stammered. 

I pulled her in for a hug, which surprised us both. She remained stiff for a few seconds, but then I felt her skinny arms wrap around me and squeeze me gently, signaling her appreciation. 

However, my anxiety returned when, after lunch, I walked into my biology classroom and saw that Edward Cullen was sitting at our shared desk, his posture eerily perfect as always. He was flipping through a battered novel, but as soon as I entered the room, he seemed to sense my presence. 

“Hello,” he greeted me as I began setting up my things for class. 

“Hi.”

“How are you doing?” He asked, sounding genuinely interested. 

“Fine.”

“I suppose that’s good,” he shrugged. “Did you get the packet of work that Alice and I left for you?” 

“Yes,” I replied. Then, because I wasn’t entirely rude, I added, “thank you.”

He smiled at me, his eyebrows raised. “You’re welcome, Bella. I assume that, since you got your folder, you also received the note I sent along with it?”

“Yes.”

“I would love to know your thoughts if you are amicable.”

“Why do you want to be my friend?” I snapped suddenly. A few of my classmates turned to look over at us, and I heard a few quiet whispers a few tables away, no doubt in response to my outburst. My face began to feel hot. 

Luckily, the bell rang before he could respond to my question. Even better was Mr. Molina’s declaration that today’s lesson was entirely lecture-based, meaning that Edward would not be able to speak to me for the rest of class. I was pretty sure that I was the only person in class not disappointed by this announcement. 

Unfortunately, his presence haunted me even while he was silent. I focused as best I could on taking notes, but I found myself distracted by every little thing Edward Cullen did, from the scratching of his pencil to his steady breathing. After the bell rang, I was immediately aware of the sound of his footsteps as he followed me into the hall. 

“Bella, I’d like the chance to be your friend, if you’ll allow it. I’ve tried my damndest to stay away from you, but I don’t have the willpower anymore.”

I whirled around on my heels to face him, trying in vain to ignore the stares of passing classmates. “You didn’t answer my question,” I replied, my voice trembling. 

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t explain it, Bella. You’re unlike anyone I’ve met in my entire life.”

I didn’t speak for several minutes, choosing instead to fidget with one of the decorative strings that hung from my shirt. Finally, I looked up at him and nodded. “Okay,” I said. “We can be friends. But I’ve got to get to class now.” 

A small smile flashed across his lips. “Thank you, Bella. I suppose I’ll see you later, then.”

I nodded, waving awkwardly before submerging myself in the stream of students moving towards my next class.

* * *

However, I didn’t see Edward at all for the rest of the day. He was also absent from school the next morning, along with his entire family. 

“Where do you think they are?” I asked Jessica, who had been uncharacteristically kind to me since our awkward embrace the day before. We were parked at our usual spot in the cafeteria, waiting for the rest of our friends to arrive with their trays. 

“Who?” She grunted, looking bored. 

I gestured vaguely at the empty table across the lunchroom before shrugging my shoulders at her. 

“Oh,” she blinked, looking bored. “Um, yeah. This happens a lot, actually. Every time the sun comes out, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen pull them out of school.”

“Wish my parents would let me skip like that for no reason,” Angela sighed, signaling her arrival. 

“It’s weird,” Mike was behind her, and he was chortling at something only he found funny, as per usual. “The Cullens are only ever gone when the sun is out. It’s like they’re vampires or something,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

Jessica rolled her eyes. “No, you idiot. I overheard Alice Cullen telling someone that it’s because they go on camping trips and hikes when the weather is nice.” She bit into a carrot stick, her face stormy. 

“Well, I still think he’s a vampire,” Mike laughed. “Something’s definitely up with their entire family.”

* * *

I left school thirty minutes early for my second appointment with Dr. Gerandy, who immediately asked me about my return to school. 

“It’s been okay,” I shrugged. 

“I assume everyone is still grieving, though.” His eyebrows were knitted together, and I came to the conclusion that he considered my nonchalance to be a farce. 

“Of course,” I said. “My friends knew Tyler better than I did, and they’re all still pretty shaken up. I am too, I guess. But, in the grand scheme of things, I am fine,” I reassured him. “I even made a new friend.” 

I hesitated when deciding whether or not to mention Edward Cullen, but I figured it would earn me some much-needed brownie points with my doctor. 

“Very nice,” he nodded. “Now, Bella. Have you thought about what we discussed last time? About the incident leading up to your departure from Forks?”

** _No. Run away. _ **

I sucked in a breath, and my vision began swimming with tears. I squeezed my eyes shut, only to see Leah’s face sneering back at me. This time, I couldn’t banish her voice from my mind; I let it wash over me like a massive wave.

_ You chose to run away. You chose not to come to Sarah’s funeral. You don’t know shit about family. You betrayed your family. You betrayed Jacob. _

She was right. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Bella?” Dr. Gerandy prodded me gently, obviously sensing that I was having trouble grounding myself. 

“I have,” I mumbled, swallowing back a massive lump that had grown in my throat. 

“Can we talk a little more about that? If you’re comfortable, that is.”

** _No. Nonononononononononono!!!_ **

_ You owe this to Jacob, _I told myself. I swallowed once more before forcing myself to meet his eyes. “Four years ago, I lost someone I loved in a car accident. My best friend’s mom.”

Dr. Gerandy nodded, but he didn’t speak. 

I continued shakily. “I was there when my father found her body. It was … it was really bad, and I couldn’t unsee any of it, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t force myself … to go to her funeral. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. So I left. I ran away.”

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

I looked down at the floor to indicate that I was finished. However, Dr. Gerandy did not speak for a long, long time. When he finally cleared his throat and opened his mouth, his voice was gentle. “Bella,” he said, “I am very pleased with the progress you’ve made today. I want you to know that, if recanting this story is too much for you right now, you don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

I looked up at him, my mouth open in shock. “Doesn’t that take away the whole point? Not talking about it?”

He smiled. “Bella, I encouraged you to talk about this not because I wanted to pry, or force you to rehash dreadful memories, but because I wanted you to come to terms with the root of your trauma, and finally begin the healing process. 

“If you ever decide that, in order to heal fully, you must talk about the situation in depth, that is perfectly fine. However, if that’s not what you need to fully come to terms with what you experienced, then that is fine as well. The important thing is that you learn to live with yourself in spite of what you’ve been through, and how you choose to do this is up to you. Everyone copes differently, Bella.” 

By the time Dr. Gerandy sent me on my way, I had already determined how best to begin taking his advice. I ran to the parking lot as fast as my clumsy legs would carry me before hopping in my precious tin can and driving away.

I was on the highway within five minutes. Luckily, this particular strip of road was surrounded almost entirely by trees, and there didn’t appear to be any other cars within sight. I rolled down my one working window as far as it would go, shook my hair loose from its messy ponytail, and began to scream as loud as I possibly could, only stopping when my lungs began to beg for precious oxygen. By the time I made it to my destination, my hair was in knots, my throat was raw and cracked, and hot, salty tears were streaming down my face. 

I threw my truck into park on the side of the road before hopping out to look around. In front of me, the main highway forked into two separate roads: I knew from experience that, if you took a right turn on Mora Road, you would end up at the Quillayute River, whereas a left turn on La Push Road would take you directly to the Reservation. 

I had avoided this moment for years, and while a small part of me felt relieved to finally be facing my demons, a larger, more fearful part was screaming for me to turn around, to get back into my truck and drive away as fast as my sputtering engine would take me. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

Somehow, I managed to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground by crouching down and pressing both palms against the paved road. I stared down and watched my tears collect in small puddles beneath me. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking and thick with sorrow. “I’m so sorry I ran away.”

After several minutes of non-stop crying, my head was beginning to throb inside my skull. I squeezed my eyes shut for a couple of seconds before drying my eyes on my damp blouse. I didn’t feel better necessarily, but at least I had gotten past my fear of visiting the Reservation by myself. Smiling a little, I realized that Dr. Gerandy was right: I could find my own way to heal. 

I began to pull myself up off the ground, taking a few moments to dust off the dirt that had begun sticking to my jeans and the hem of my shirt. Just as I was about to turn around and head towards my truck, I heard a voice behind me:

“Hello,” he said, chuckling as I let out a surprised scream. 

** _Run._ **

I whirled around to get a glimpse of the man. However, I moved too quickly, lost my footing, and fell backwards onto my rear. I let out a sharp cry of pain as my tailbone slammed against the paved road. 

“Oh dear,” the man laughed. “You sure are clumsy, aren’t you?”

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun._ **

I stared up at him, my expression a mixture of anger and confusion. He smirked down at me, and I noticed that his abnormally pale complexion was streaked with dirt. It was then I realized that he must be a hitchhiker; there were no other cars in the area aside from mine. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun!!!_ **

“Do you need something?” I managed to choke out. Charlie had warned me to never pick up hitchhikers or stragglers, but I couldn’t really think of anything else to say. Maybe if I offered him money or a ride, he’d leave me alone. 

No such luck. I watched as he smiled at me, big and wide, and I realized that his perfect teeth were streaked with a dark red substance. 

** _Blood. Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun!!!_ **

He didn’t answer. Instead, he took a step forward, and his smile grew even wider when I took a step back and nearly tripped further into the wooded area. It occurred to me that, no matter what I did, this was going to be the day that my life ended. It also occurred to me that I would be the second loved one whose corpse my father would be forced to recover here. 

The man finally spoke, and the sound of his voice sent chills down my spine. “You know, I didn’t think so at first, but now I know that you can help me. It’s a shame, really. I would have liked to play with you awhile, but you sure did choose a terrible place to die.” 

Then, without another word, he took a massive, inhuman leap towards me, bridging the sizeable gap between us in less than a second. I squeezed my eyes shut just as I felt him grab hold of my throat with one massive hand, cutting off what I knew would have been my last breath.

Knowing that I couldn’t die without a fight, I began thrashing wildly, only to discover that his body was harder than granite. Only a few kicks against his thigh, and my ankles felt as though they had been ground to sawdust. Knowing that I had only seconds to live, I sent a silent prayer to whatever was out there that Charlie not be the one to find my remains. 

I felt my murderer run his razor-sharp teeth across my jugular, and I knew that it was time. I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I possibly could, balled my fists together, and waited feebly for whatever came after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Tell me in the comments.


	10. Chapter X.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s some gore in this chapter. You have been warned.

**Chapter X.**

Everybody's living or they're dead,

and I'm still in my bed,

and I don't have a clue.

~ 

Beach Fossils | Sleep Apnea  
  


* * *

I had expected the creeping, colorless void to swallow me whole, but it receded the moment my body made contact with the ground. My captor had dropped me, or rather, slammed me against the forest floor, almost as though he intended to break me. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

I heard an agonized scream come from several feet away; it was so hauntingly shrill that it didn’t sound human, and it automatically sent a shiver down my spine. My eyes flew open as I tried to make sense of what was going on around me. 

Almost immediately, I knew it was a mistake. My vision had begun to blur, and the muted rays of sunshine streaming through the foliage overhead seemed to infiltrate my skull and make my head throb painfully. 

Suddenly, I heard a soft thudding noise, and my attacker’s face appeared, only inches away from my own. I opened my mouth to scream in surprised horror, but I was cut off by the sight of the rest of him landing a few feet away. 

His head had been ripped from his body. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

I felt strong arms wrap around my midsection, lifting me into the air in a way that could only be described as tender. I continued to try and scream, but I was already beginning to fade. 

“Hush,” my alleged savior whispered, his voice gentle yet firm. “You’re safe now.”

I calmed down after hearing his words, and my body began to meld into his strong arms like warm putty. Without meaning to, I relaxed into the void, allowing it to overtake me and swallow me whole. 

* * *

When I finally came to, I was lying facedown on someone else’s bed. Slowly, I mustered up the strength to roll onto my side, taking deep breaths as white-hot tendrils of pain shot through my entire body. After several minutes spent flopping around like a dying fish, I managed to push myself into an upright position and take in my surroundings. 

The bed turned out to be a simple feather mattress wedged into the upper-left corner of the tiniest room that I had ever seen. To the right of me was a squarish bedside table topped with a miniature bottle of water, a plastic container of pills, and an alarm clock that read 8:19 PM. I could just make out the sounds of soft conversation filtering through the door across from me, which was held ajar by a small, stone statue of a wolf. 

Slowly but surely, I inched closer to the table before wrapping my shaking hands around the bottle of Advil. However, right as I was about to pull it towards me, I lost my grip, scattering pills every which way across the wooden floor. 

I flinched, cursing softly as I heard the sound of footsteps nearing the door. I had a feeling that, even if I managed to get a grip on my body, running away would prove impossible. My heart began to race as the door was nudged open; I still had no idea where I was, or who had rescued me. 

For all I knew, I could be in even deeper trouble now then I had been before I was pulled out from the brink of death by the stranger. 

“Bella? Are you alright?” A male voice called out to me from across the room. Try as I might, I couldn’t make out his face; my vision was still incredibly blurry, undoubtedly due to my attacker having slammed me into the ground. 

“Yes,” I whispered. My voice sounded absolutely dreadful, like I had breathed in an entire chimney’s worth of smoke. 

The man took a few steps in my direction, giving me time to get a good look at him before he reached my bedside. “You’re Sam,” I choked out. 

“Astute observation,” he smiled grimly. “How’s your head? You took quite a tumble in the forest.”

“It hurts really bad. Um, what happened to me?” I rasped, massaging my temples woefully. I only remembered bits and pieces of whatever had taken place, and although some rational part of me knew that I should just let everything go, the gaps in my memory disturbed me greatly. I wanted answers. 

“It’s a bit of a long story,” Sam informed me while bending over to sweep up the pile of blue pills from the floor. “I’m not the best at answering these sorts of questions, but Billy Black is here to do exactly that. He’s been waiting for you to wake up.”

** _Run. _ **

I gasped softly. “Oh, God. Has Billy told Charlie what happened to me?” I sputtered, my stomach churning. If my father knew what had transpired over the past couple of hours, he would absolutely lose his mind. Not to mention, he would never let me leave the house again. 

“No,” Sam assured me. “Charlie got a text from your phone several hours ago. He thinks you stayed overnight with a friend, and that you intend to do so tonight as well.”

“Wait,” I gasped, allowing his words to sink in. “I’ve been out for an  _ entire day _ ?” I sat up in my sickbed and rolled over so that my feet were touching the floor. “I missed school?”

Sam eyed me incredulously. “Please, try and relax, Bella. With everything that transpired yesterday … skipping school should be the least of your worries.” 

I pushed my feelings of guilt and terror way down and focused on pushing myself out of bed. Sam must have sensed what I was about to do, because he jumped up and helped me balance myself. Slowly but surely, I managed to hobble into the next room by using his body as a brace to keep me from toppling over. 

A few seconds later, we rounded a corner and entered a cozy living area that doubled as a kitchen. It was snug and enclosed, yet it still felt airy and homelike. In the center of the room was a wooden table surrounded by mismatched chairs, one of which had been moved to the side to accommodate Billy Black’s wheelchair. He was sitting next to a tall, dark-haired woman with skin as clear as the night sky. She met my eyes almost immediately, and a smile lit up her entire face. 

“Hello, Bella,” Billy greeted me. “Why don’t you have a seat? You’ve suffered a concussion, and it isn’t good for you to be standing upright like that.”

Sam led me to the table and pulled out a chair next to the smiling woman, who squeezed my shoulder gently as soon as I took a seat. 

“I’m Emily, Sam’s girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you, Bella,” she grinned. I couldn’t help but smile back at her, even though the slightest movements brought me immeasurable pain. 

Billy cleared his throat before reaching out to clasp one of my trembling hands in both of his. “Bella, I sense that you have many questions. We are here to answer them, but you should know, first and foremost, that you are safe here. Do you understand?” 

** _Run. _ **

I nodded weakly. I knew that he meant well, but I was already feeling overwhelmed by this conversation. 

“Very good,” he nodded. “Now, onto the more complicated bit. Bella, can you tell me what you remember about the events surrounding your attack?”

Sam shot me an encouraging thumbs up from across the room. He was rummaging through a smallish fridge that was wedged in the corner of the tiny kitchen area. Emily squeezed my hand encouragingly. 

“Um, it’s all kinda fuzzy,” I warned, my face heating up in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Sam called from across the room, still sifting through the contents of the fridge. “You hit your head pretty hard; no one will fault you for not being able to remember every little detail.”

Billy nodded. “Exactly. You need only tell us what you’re comfortable sharing.”

I nodded and took a deep, ragged breath. “Um, I had gotten out of my truck to … look at something,” I lied, hoping that Billy didn’t see the guilt that was undoubtedly plastered all over my face. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Anything out of the ordinary?” Sam questioned, his voice tinged with curiosity. 

“Um, not really. I just thought I saw something pop up on the side of the road. And then he just appeared while I was checking it out, I guess. I thought he was some kind of hitchhiker, but then I saw the blood on his teeth.” My breathing quickened and my gut churned as I recanted the sickening sight. 

Emily cringed, her beautiful face twisted in disgust. Sam’s eyes darkened, and Billy seemed to tense up. 

“I tried to get away from him, but he was  _ really  _ strong,” I choked. “He moved so fast that I didn’t have any time to run. And when I tried to fight him off of me, it was like his body was made of metal. It was like …” I trailed off, my eyes wide.

“Like what?” Sam had crossed the room to get closer to me, and I could practically smell the anxiety that was dripping off of him. 

“Like … it was like he wasn’t even human.”

“Because he wasn’t,” came his blunt response. 

“Sam! You can’t just spring something like that on someone out of the blue!” Emily’s face was incredulous.

“I think he was attempting to rip off the bandaid,” Billy reasoned with her. 

She didn’t look convinced. Her mouth flattened into a thin, angry line, and her eyes narrowed at her boyfriend, who couldn’t help but cringe under the weight of her stern gaze. 

“What are you talking about?” I squeaked, reminding the three of them that I was still present. “What was that man?”

“That  _ thing, _ ” Sam corrected me, “was a bloodsucking demon. A vampire.”

“You’re joking,” I whispered, my head spinning as I tried to process what I was being told. 

I glanced at Emily, and saw that her face was both serious and laden with sympathy. “I’m afraid he’s being serious,” was her whispered reply. 

Suddenly, a string of violent coughs began clawing their way up my windpipe. I grasped at my throat, and Sam immediately dashed over to the fridge to grab me a bottled water. I drank the whole thing in under a minute. 

“Bella,” I heard Billy’s voice over the sound of my frenzied gulping. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, massaging my swollen throat with my fingertips. Finally, I managed to speak again. “The man … er, the vampire,” I rasped out. “He’s been hunting humans, hasn’t he? Was he the one that killed Waylon Forge?”

He grimaced. “I’m afraid so, Bella. We also have reason to suspect that his attack on you was premeditated.”

“What do you mean?” I whimpered, unable to stop the terror from flooding my voice. 

Sam spoke next, his jaw twitching in anger. “A few weeks ago, when you were sleeping over at Billy’s, my … er, my friends and I stumbled upon it just as it was about to break into your room. We chased him off of our land, but he slipped through our fingers and disappeared.

“We thought we’d scared him away for good. That is, until I found him about to eat you,” he smiled grimly. 

“I don’t understand,” I mumbled. “How did you manage to chase after him? Also, I saw you tear off his head,” I shivered, “like it was practically nothing. How did you do all of these things?”

“Bella,” Billy interjected, “what do you know of the Quileute legends?”

“Not much,” I admitted. “I know about how you’re supposedly descended from wolves. Isn’t the word Quileute supposed to translate into wolf?”

Billy nodded. I looked at Sam, only to discover that his eyes were boring into me. “Go on,” he continued. 

“That’s all I can remember,” I shrugged. And then, in the blink of an eye, it dawned on me. 

Billy must have seen my eyes widen, because he reached out to squeeze my hand once more. “We as a tribe have known about the existence of vampires for hundreds of years. Many of our legends have been built around the existence of the so-called  _ Cold Ones,  _ the demon-spawn commonly known as vampires. Their existence threatened the lives of hundreds of Quileute, and we were forced to … er, evolve, in order to vanquish them.”

“Sam can turn into a wolf,” I mumbled to no one in particular. 

“Very good,” he nodded approvingly. 

“Anything else I need to know?” I snarked, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice as I shifted nervously in my seat. 

“Yes,” Sam sighed. “The leech you saw isn’t the only one lurking in Forks. There are several more, and some of them go to your school.”

“The Cullens,” I whispered. 

His eyes narrowed. “How did you know that?”

“Um, I overheard you talking about them,” I admitted. “When I was over at Billy’s, I heard you mention them.”

Sam shrugged. “Yes, the Cullens are vampires. However, they’re … tame,” he made a face. “They claim to only feed from animals, which is why our ancestors made a treaty with them several years ago.”

“Okay,” I mumbled. “So if they kill a human, the treaty is broken?”

“Yes,” Billy nodded. “That is correct.”

“Can I ask why you’re telling me about this?” I demanded, my voice tired. I was more than a little overstimulated, and I still couldn’t convince myself that this wasn’t all some kind of joke. 

“You were targeted by a very dangerous foe, Bella,” Billy explained. “Sam, Paul, and Jared dealt with him as best they could, but we have no idea whether or not more will come, and we want you to be prepared in case you are ever put in danger again. Besides, would you have believed me if I had tried to write this all off as being all in your head?”

“Probably not,” I admitted. Billy had known me since I was a child, and he knew better than most how stubborn I could be. “Does this mean I’m in some kind of danger? And what about Charlie?” 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

Emily must have sensed the panic that had crept its way into my voice, because she grasped my hand gently. “Bella, you and your loved ones are under the protection of the tribe. Sam will look after you, just like he looks after all of us.”

Billy nodded. “We will do everything in our power to keep you safe.”

“When you say we, does that mean …” I trailed off, hoping he’d catch my drift. 

“I was never given the ability to phase, Bella,” he laughed lightly, answering my silent question. “We aren’t positive as to how the transformation occurs. However, we can infer that every male Quileute carries the gene, and past experiences have indicated that we will only phase if our bodies are young and strong enough to handle the transformation.”

“Wait,” I paused, my mouth dropping open. “Jacob …” 

Billy‘s shoulders tensed, and I watched as his brow furrowed. “Jacob has yet to show any signs of phasing, Bella. But if things continue as they are, and vampires still exist within the confines of our homeland, he will be forced to step up and protect the tribe, just as his ancestors did. Although it is not something that I would have ever wished for him,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. 

I knew what Billy was saying, and although I didn’t want to think about it any longer, the thought wouldn’t leave my mind: Edward and his family were vampires, and despite their unusual diet, they still posed a threat to the tribe’s safety. Meaning that, as long as they remained in Forks, Jacob’s future no longer belonged to him. 

** _This is all your fault. _ **

My eyes filled with tears, and I had to swallow down a massive lump that had risen in my throat. “This is a lot to process,” I admitted softly, my voice betraying my exhaustion. “Do you think it’s safe for me to go home? I’d really like to sleep in my own bed.”

“Charlie might ask why you’re home early from your friend’s house,” Billy reminded me. “Will you be able to keep up the lie?”

** _Yourfaultyourfaultyourfault. _ **

It was strange, the idea that all of my father’s friends had been keeping secrets from him. Even though I knew it was for his own good, I still felt awful for Charlie. 

I shrugged. “He knows that I value my alone time. I don’t think he’ll ask too many questions.”

He nodded. “Fair enough, I suppose. I’d imagine you’re still a bit light-headed, and I’m not sure I’d feel safe letting you drive yourself home. Would you be okay with letting Sam drive?”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that,” I assured him, smiling shyly at Sam to indicate my thanks. 

I took a couple of minutes to say goodbye to Billy and Emily: The former gave me a pat on the shoulder, smiling fondly at me as I promised to be as safe as possible. The latter gathered me in her arms, and I could feel her heartbeat fluttering against me like the soft wings of a butterfly. 

“Would you like to come over sometime soon?” She asked, her eyes hopeful. “I’d love to see more of you, especially since you know all about the wolves.”

“I’d like that,” I said, returning her hug.

Throughout the drive to Forks, Sam remained silent, giving me time to process the barrage of new information that had just been thrown at me. When we arrived at Charlie’s, I was relieved to discover that his cruiser was not parked in the driveway. I realized with a pang that he was probably still out hunting a murderer that would never be found. At least the vampire couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. 

I had only just thanked Sam for the ride when I realized that, since he had driven me home in my truck, he had no way of getting back to Emily’s place. I was about to ask him if he needed to come inside and call someone when I saw him remove his shirt and fold it into a small bundle. 

He saw me staring at him with wide eyes, and cleared his throat. “Can I get a little privacy?” He coughed. 

Blushing, I turned around and began walking towards my dimly-lit home. I had almost made it to the front porch steps when I heard a strange moan escape from Sam’s lips, followed by a low, animalistic growl. 

I turned around in shocked horror just in time to see a massive, coal-colored wolf standing where Sam had stood just moments before. His clothes were wedged between the animal’s massive jaws. He whined when he saw me, almost as though he were beckoning me closer. 

I stepped towards the edge of the woods, locking eyes with the wolf. His eyes were just like Sam’s, and that gave me comfort as I reached out to place my hand on top of his head. He growled softly as I patted his fur; a wolf’s version of a chuckle. 

“Thanks for everything,” I said to the wolf. 

In response, he bowed his head before taking off into the woods in the direction of La Push, yipping gently over his shoulder. 

Shaking from a combination of shock and exhaustion, I managed to unlock the front door before sealing myself inside the house. I shed my coat and boots in the foyer before ascending the stairs. I managed to strip off my filthy, torn-up jeans before climbing into bed. 

I didn’t sleep for several hours, choosing instead to try and make sense of everything that had just been revealed to me. However, by the time dawned finally rolled around, I was still confused as ever. Frustrated and fatigued, I allowed myself to drift off and sleep until my alarm went off. 

In my dreams, I heard Jacob crying out in agony as his skin split down the middle, revealing thick, russet-colored fur. I heard the vivid sound of bones snapping and rearranging themselves, coupled with the sound of his screams that slowly began to sound like howls. I watched, completely helpless, as my best friend was swallowed whole by his apparent destiny, never to return. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things:
> 
> Yes, Emily isn’t scarred. If you follow me on tumblr, you know that I (along with a lot of other Twilight bloggers) think it’s absolutely disgusting and racist of SMeyer to abuse her native characters the way she did, and I won’t stand for it. My version of Sam isn’t abusive, and my version of Emily isn’t some quiet housewife that makes muffins for the man that mauled her. Let’s treat our Native characters better and more positively. 
> 
> Yes, the cat is out of the bag. All of them. I know I haven’t explained the actual events surrounding Sarah’s death, but it will all be explained by the end of this installment, so don’t worry!
> 
> One more thing: There are seven more chapters left in Eventide. I have two more installments coming after.


	11. Chapter XI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware, there is some sensitive content ahead: Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and light hints of child neglect. Read at your own discretion.

**Chapter XI.**

I won't waste your time with my revelation

(Hello my friend, I see you're back again)

Hello mystery, don't bother to explain

(How 'bout maybe, it's all been in my head)

Hey well I'm tired of this black and blue, black and blue

~

Miike Snow | Black and Blue  


* * *

“You look cute,” Jessica informed me, her fingers stroking the soft cotton of my sweater. “Like, I didn’t know you had a thing for fashion.”

I flinched as her palm brushed against a particularly large cluster of bruises that I had opted to hide under several layers of clothing. “Thanks,” I smiled weakly. “I guess I just felt like dressing up today.”

“Sure,” she chirped. “I’m  _ positive _ that’s what happened.”

“What do you mean?” I stammered, suddenly nervous that Jessica Stanley was somehow onto me. 

“Um, don’t pretend like you don’t see Edward Cullen staring straight at you from all the way across the hall,” she quipped. “He hasn’t stopped watching you for like, ten minutes.”

** _Run. _ **

“What?” I whispered faintly. “No way.”

“Yes way,” she giggled snarkily. “And I’d wipe the gross sweat off your palms, because he’s coming towards you right now.”

“Okay, Jess. I’ll see you later,” I mumbled stupidly before taking off in the direction of my first class. I was positive that she was rolling her eyes at my retreating frame, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about the opinions of my peers when I had a literal vampire trailing behind me. 

** _Run. _ **

“Leave me alone,” I mumbled, although I was sure he couldn’t hear me. “I take back what I said about us being friends.”

“I had a feeling you’d see reason,” came his calm, collected reply. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun._ **

A surprised squeak escaped my lips, and I was suddenly tripped up by the adrenaline rush that slammed into my body at breakneck speed. I braced myself against the wall of lockers before turning around to toss Edward Cullen a petulant glare. 

“Bella,” he said stiffly. “I want to apologize for whatever wrongdoing I’ve committed.”

“You’ve been doing that an awful lot, lately,” I gritted, digging my fingernails into the soft flesh of my sweaty palms. 

His lips turned downwards and his shoulders began to sag, but he still didn’t leave. Rather, he stood still as a statue for several agonizingly long, awkward moments. 

I stiffened, baffled by the audacity of Edward Cullen. “What’s your problem?” I snapped at him incredulously. I attempted to squeeze past him and continue on my way to class, but he didn’t budge. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun!!!_ **

Suddenly, his thin, pale hand was inches away from my face, almost as though he intended to strike me. However, before I could move away, I felt ice-cold fingertips brushing against my neck as he gently pushed aside my scarf to reveal the small, finger-shaped bruises that dotted my neck. 

“Bella,” he whispered, his expression horrified. “Who did this to you?”

I took a ragged breath and tilted up my chin at him. “This is none of your business, Edward.”

He exhaled sharply and flexed his muscular jaw in frustration. “Bella,  _ please  _ don’t be difficult with me,” he groaned. “My only goal is to ensure that you are safe.”

“Please leave me alone,” I whispered throatily. “I know what you are, and I don’t want your help.”

His gorgeous, golden eyes widened and became rimmed with fear. “What exactly are you talking about?” He murmured. 

“You,” I choked out. “Your entire family, and your friend …” I trailed off, my voice growing quiet. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered throatily. “And what’s this about a friend?” He added. 

** _RUN._ **

“You’re … you’re all vampires,” I whispered. 

Suddenly, before Edward had time to react, Alice Cullen approached us, her eyes shining with poorly-concealed worry. “What’s going on?” She chirped. 

“Nothing,” I mumbled. “I was just about to go to class.”

“Bella,” Edward protested, “what in the  _ world  _ -”

“Stay away from me,” I cut him off with a hiss. “Far away, Edward.”

“I can’t do that,” he replied, shaking his head. “Not until I can ensure that you will be completely safe.”

“I don’t need your protection,” I snarled back at him before marching down the hall and slipping quietly into my first period classroom. 

“I almost thought you weren’t coming,” Jessica giggled, blissfully unaware of the altercation that had just taken place. 

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance as I planted myself down next to her. “I couldn’t get into my locker.”

“Sure,” she quipped. “If by locker, you mean Edward Cullen’s pants … then, sure.”

I ignored her, opting to wipe my sweat-covered palms across my jeans. “I’m not into him, Jess. He’s not as cool as everyone seems to think.”

“Well,” she huffed. “He certainly doesn’t feel that way about you.”

* * *

Luckily enough, the entire Cullen clan was absent during lunch, and Edward’s seat remained empty all throughout biology. 

However, the universe seemed determined not to give me too much of a break. I had scarcely made it through my front door when my phone began to buzz insistently in my back pocket. I slid it open and pressed it to my ear without checking the caller ID. 

“Hello?” I grunted into the receiver. 

“Bella!” Renée screamed, her shrill voice grating at my eardrums. “Oh, baby. I miss you so much.”

“Hi, mom,” was all that I could think to say. 

“Baby,” she whimpered, “why haven’t you called me? It’s been  _ weeks _ . I was so … so worried, Bella.” 

** _Run._ **

“I know,” I whispered, guilt prickling at my conscience. 

“I miss you so much, Bella. I don’t understand … why haven’t you called me, baby? Do you not miss me?”

I did my best not to inhale sharply at the sound of her words. “Mom, of course I miss you,” I tried reasoning with her. 

She refused to listen. Her pathetic sniffles began erupting into earth-shattering sobs mixed with hiccups and unintelligible words. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Mom? Hey, mom. I can’t understand you,” I shouted into the phone. “I’m so sorry I made you upset, mom. Please, I can’t … mom, please.” 

She didn’t respond, and I could tell that my words weren’t having any effect on her. No matter how hard I tried, I was never able to make her happy without completely exhausting myself in the process. Already weary, I began trudging up the stairs with my phone held a safe distance away from my ear.

“Do you not love me, Bella?” I heard her moan in between sobs. 

“Of course I do!” I continued to try and reason with her as I crawled into bed. “Mom, you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you, just like you’d do anything for me.”

“Then why won’t you call, Bella? And why haven’t you talked to me about coming to visit?” I heard her heave. “I miss you so much, Bella. Please say you’ll come visit me, baby.”

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

I stiffened. “Mom, you know I can’t really miss school right now -”

The sobs grew louder, and I heard the beginnings of what sounded like a gagging fit. Hot tears streamed down my face, and I felt the sting of my sharp fingernails as they dug into my bruised palms. 

“Mom, there’s always breaks,” I added, slowly. “Maybe I can come visit you over the summer again.”

** _No. _ **

Suddenly, Renée’s chokes and sobs seemed to cease. Her groans simmered down to small whimpers, and I heard her take a deep breath. “Really? Would you really come all this way just to see me, Bella?”

“I’ll try,” I whispered, sealing my fate. 

** _Nonononononononono._ **

“Oh!” she squealed, suddenly calm and collected. She began jabbering about life in Jacksonville, Phil’s baseball career, and all of her new favorite hobbies, and I was forced to bite my lip in order to keep from screaming in frustration. 

I had spent months waiting for this exact moment, knowing that it was bound to happen eventually. Renée always seemed to sense when I was at my weakest and most malleable; she would call me at the worst of times and coerce me into paying her a visit, stating that she couldn’t live without me by her side. 

At that moment, I was filled to the brim with self-loathing for thinking that, at least this time my mother didn’t call me right after I was forced to bury the woman that should have been my mom. 

** _All you ever do is run away. _ **

“Bella? Are you listening?” Renée sounded aggravated. “I said, are you making any friends at your new high school?”

“Yeah,” I blinked the tears from my eyes and glanced over at the window, expecting to see the same dark clouds and dew-encrusted trees. Only, that wasn’t the only thing that caught my eye. My heart stopped as I caught sight of one Alice Cullen perched on my windowsill, her eyes wide and rimmed with concern. 

“Have any cute boys caught your eye?” Renée’s giggle tickled my eardrum.

“Mom,” I yelped. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.”

I heard the faintest echoes of protest from my mother, followed by the sound of my phone snapping shut as it made contact with my bedroom floor. I dashed over to the windowsill and pushed it open. 

“Hi,” Alice chirped. “May I come in?” 

“Um …” I gawked at her for several seconds, my eyes failing to detect any humor within her expression. It was almost as though she thought it completely normal to enter one’s home via the window. “Sure, I guess.”

“Oh!” she squealed. “You almost said no, didn’t you? I’m so happy you didn’t! By the way, where did you get these lace curtains? They’re gorgeous,” she chirped excitedly. 

“My grandmother,” was all I could say. 

“Well, she had excellent taste,” Alice beamed. 

“Um, thanks. So … what’s up?” I offered weakly. 

I watched as her smile began to crumble around the edges. “Well,” she murmured, “I was hoping that you’d be able to answer a couple of questions, Bella.”

“Uh, sure,” I replied, feigning nonchalance. I definitely  _ wasn’t _ sure, but I could at least hope that I had managed to fool her with my faux confidence, however temporarily. 

She smiled lightly, although I could see the tension in her tiny shoulders. “My family and I would like to know the identity of the person that left those bruises on your neck.”

“ _ That’s _ your first question?” I blurted.

“Of course,” she frowned. “What, pray tell, would take precedence over your health and well-being?”

“I don’t know,” I choked. “It’s just … we barely know one another. I didn’t realize you cared so much about my  _ well-being _ or whatever.”

Alice’s eyes were sad. “You might not know it yet, but you’re very important to me, as well as to the rest of my family. Bella … we all want nothing more than to keep you safe. Please, tell me who hurt you yesterday,” she pleaded. 

“You really don’t know?” I squeaked. 

“Wait, Bella. What do you mean?” She asked, her eyes narrowed in confusion. 

I stared at her, confused. “I thought,” I stammered, “I thought maybe you knew. He was like you, Alice. I thought maybe …” 

“Bella,” she whispered shakily. “Are you telling me that a vampire did this to you?”

I nodded wordlessly. 

Her eyebrows creased. “Did he look familiar, Bella?”

“No, I’d never seen him before.”

“What did he look like?” She demanded, her eyes narrowed in concentration. 

“Um … he was tall, and he had scruffy blonde hair. And … the eyes,” I gulped. “His eyes were crimson, almost. Like blood.”

Alice shook her head. “Bella, I can’t believe that a  _ red-eyed vampire _ would attack you and then let you go without at least  _ tasting  _ your blood. I mean, you have the most delicious smell …” she trailed off for a moment, her eyes fluttering shut. 

After a few awkward moments of silence, I cleared my throat. Her eyes flew open again. “I’m sorry,” she coughed. “I just can’t believe … how did you get away from him?”

I briefly considered lying to Alice, but I quickly reconsidered after looking into her piercing golden eyes. There was no way she wouldn’t see through my poor attempts at concealing the truth. 

“I was rescued by a friend,” I admitted. 

She gasped. “What friend?”

“Sam Uley,” I mumbled, feeling as though Sam would surely despise me for revealing this information to his sworn enemy. 

Alice gasped again, this time louder. “The  _ werewolf _ ?” 

I bit my lip, nodding. 

Suddenly, the corners of her lips turned upwards into a smile, and she chuckled a little bit. “I’m sorry,” she giggled, “but I’ve never met such a danger magnet. You’ve managed to befriend two different species of supernatural creatures in under two months, Bella.

“Now,” she paused. “I’m assuming Sam Uley is also responsible for you knowing about vampires?”

I blinked at her before shrugging my shoulders. 

“Oh,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Well, at least now you know. I’ve been waiting for you to find out. Now, I know this might be … er, painful. But would you mind telling me about the attack, pretty please?” She beamed at me encouragingly. 

“Um, I guess so.” 

“Brilliant!” She gave me a thumbs up and listened carefully as I recalled everything that had happened the day before yesterday, ending with my awakening at Sam’s house. 

I omitted the details surrounding my pulling over on the side of the road, as well as my entire conversation with Sam, Emily, and Billy Black. Thankfully, Alice didn’t push for information, although I could tell that she was tempted to do just that. 

After I was completely finished, she nodded once before admitting, “I didn’t know the Uley pup and his gang had it in them to actually kill a vampire.”

Something about her tone rubbed me the wrong way, and I shot her a scathing glare. “He saved my life,” I snapped. “You keep saying you want to protect me, but he’s the one who actually did it, Alice.”

She sobered up immediately. “Believe me, Bella,” she sighed. “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if you had been seriously injured or killed, and the same goes for Edward. 

“My siblings and I took the day off from school to go on a hunting trip, so we had no way of knowing that you were missing. Plus, my visions of you are already blurry enough as is, so I didn’t think much of it when I stopped seeing you.”

I cut her off. “Wait.What? What visions? 

She smiled bashfully. “I’m sorry, I neglected to mention that I sort of have a gift, Bella. I can sometimes see the future. However,” her face soured, “I have a hard time seeing yours, for whatever reason.”

“Why?” I demanded. 

“I don’t really know, to be honest. All I know for certain is that the wolves … they block my visions. I can never see you when you’re around one of them. I had no way of knowing that you were in danger. I’m sorry I failed to save you,” she frowned. 

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. “Do I know too much?” I blurted. 

Alice looked puzzled. “Bella, what are you talking about?”

“I mean …” I took a deep breath. “I mean, do I know too many, um … too many of your secrets? Are you going to have to kill me?” I asked quietly, my voice monotone. 

Alice’s eyes widened. “No, Bella,” she gasped. “Why would you  _ ever _ think that? Especially after everything I’ve just told you!”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “You’re … how do you know you can trust me?” 

“I just told you,” she chirped, her smile returning “The best part about being a seer is that it’s always very easy to trust others. I always know before they decide to break that trust, and I know you won’t betray me. I’ve seen it.”

“Oh,” was all I could say. 

“In fact,” she smiled, “I know for a fact that you and I are going to be the best of friends. You’re coming over this Saturday. I’ve already seen that, too.”

“I don’t know,” I stammered. “You could be making that up. You know, um … to persuade me into coming over.”

She chuckled, her eyebrows raised. “Do you take me for a liar, Bella?” 

“Oh. Um, of course not.” I stammered. 

“Relax,” she laughed. “I’m joking.”

“Oh,” was all I could say. 

Alice hopped to her feet. “I’ve got to go. But don’t worry,” she smiled. “It’ll all be okay, I promise. Everyone is looking forward to meeting you, especially Jasper. He says sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry for what, Alice?”

“Well, er … that day in the parking lot, you see. You fell down and scraped your knees, and his reaction was … probably a bit animalistic, I suppose. He wants you to know that he doesn’t hate you, and that he’s excited to officially meet you. I’ve already seen the two of you hitting it off.”

“Oh,” I said again. “Um, Alice?”

“Yes, Bella?” 

“Does anyone else have your gift?”

“No, silly. That’s why it’s  _ my  _ gift. But Edward can read minds, and Jasper is an empath of sorts.” She pushed open the window and hopped onto the slanted roof with great ease, not even stopping to look down at the ground beneath her. 

“Wait, Edward can read people’s thoughts?” I gasped. 

“Yes,” Alice smiled. “Everyone’s thoughts but yours.” And with that, she leapt off of my roof with catlike grace and disappeared into a cloud of mist. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? We have about seven chapters left, so please leave me a review or kudos if you’re enjoying this!


	12. Chapter XII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, guys. So much stuff has happened since I posted the last chapter of Eventide. Are you guys doing alright? I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. I'll be honest, I have been struggling from writer's block, but your comments kept me writing. Also, my wonderful friends and betas kept me motivated as well! So thanks everyone for your continued interest in Eventide. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Chapter XII:**

Oh, my love

It’s a wild, wild, road

Road wherever we go

And no, sweet love

She’s a wild, wild one

Got me losing all control

~ 

Lucky Rose, Tep No | Wild One

* * *

When I arrived at school the next morning, I discovered that rays of sunshine had broken through the thick layer of clouds that usually blanketed Forks. Of course, that meant that the Cullens would decide to skip school for what seemed like the millionth time that semester. 

Normally, their absence would have unnerved me. However, I wasn’t about to complain this time: Their absence saved me from having to explain to Alice that I had no intention of accepting her invitation. I could simply return home after school and enjoy a vampire-free weekend with Jacob and my other friends from La Push. 

At least, that is what I believed until about midway through Saturday morning. I had decided to stay up late the previous night and finish a midterm paper, so I was justifiably grumpy when Charlie woke me up by rapping his knuckles against my door frame. 

“Bells, Alice Cullen is here to see you,” he informed me. “I reckon she’s been waitin’ for a while.” 

“What?” I yelped as icy tendrils of terror shot through my body. I leapt out of bed and dashed over to the window, desperately rubbing the sleep from my eyes in order to get a good look out the window. Sure enough, I quickly caught sight of the bad omen that was Edward Cullen’s shiny, silver Volvo. 

** _Run. _ **

“Is Edward with her?” I shouted, trying my best to sound casual as I darted away from the window and began sifting through the contents of my hamper for a sweater and a suitable pair of jeans. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

Charlie grew quiet, but after a few moments, I heard his concerned reply. “Don’t think so. Why? Bella, is that boy giving you any trouble?”

“No, dad. I was just wondering. I promise, I’ll be down in a minute,” I assured him.

** _Stupid. _ **

“I’ll warm up some breakfast for you,” he said stiffly. 

“Thanks!” I shouted after him before slipping out of my room and into the bathroom. 

I swiped a bit of corrector under my eyes to hide my massive bags, but I was unable to do anything about the bruises that stained my neck and shoulders. I simply shrugged on my frumpiest of my winter sweaters and wrapped a scarf around my thin neck. I had long given up on the prospect of looking like some kind of fashion model.

** _Stupid. _ **

Once I was something close to satisfied with my appearance, I stumbled downstairs and kissed Charlie’s cheek before grabbing a slice of bread from the toaster and shoving it in my mouth. 

“Where’s Alice takin’ you?” He asked, his bushy eyebrows raised. 

“Um, her house,” was all I could say. I had no idea where the Cullens lived, and I was clueless as to what Alice’s plans were for the day. For all I knew, she could be taking me to Italy or something. 

“What time will you be home?”

“I’m supposed to hang out with Jake tonight,” I said hesitantly. “So, um … whenever.”

His eyes narrowed, and I saw his lips twitching under his mustache. “I’m guessing that the two of you will be at the La Push bonfire?”

“Yeah.”

He sighed. “I trust you, and I know Jacob won’t let anything bad happen to you. Just be home before dark, okay? I don’t want you anywhere near the woods late at night.”

I gave him a thumbs up and a sheepish grin before backing into the foyer and pulling on my boots. 

As soon as Alice saw me, she tossed me a cheeky wave before reaching over and opening the passenger side door. “You’re fashionably late this morning, Bella. Also, who’s Jake?” She smiled impishly. 

I took a few steps back and gawked at her, my mouth hanging open. “Whatever you just did,” I sputtered, “Don’t do it, Alice.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I can’t exactly turn  _ it _ off, just so you know. Are you getting in?”

** _Run away, stupid. _ **

I briefly considered lying to her and claiming that I had other obligations. After all, she had shown up at my doorstep expecting that I would go along with whatever plan she had crafted. I had every right to weasel my way out of spending an afternoon with her. However, I quickly realized that my sweat-slick palms and hummingbird heartbeat would give me away in an instant. I slid into the vehicle and shut the door before wiping my palms across my faded jeans. 

** _Stupid. _ **

I had just finished buckling my seat belt when I felt the car jump to life beneath my feet. Alice slammed her foot against the gas pedal and sent us flying onto the road at breakneck speed. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from squealing in surprise. Thankfully, one look in the rear-view mirror told me that Charlie hadn’t been looking out the window when we peeled out of the driveway. 

Alice also seemed blissfully unaware of the handful of traffic laws that she had broken. She proceeded to drape one pale, skinny arm across my shoulders while informing me of her plans for our shared afternoon:

“We’re going to have so much fun,” she squealed. “Esme and I stocked the fridge with tons of snacks, just in case you get hungry. Oh, and you’re going to love the color that I picked out for your nails,” she assured me. “I’ve already seen it.” 

“I thought you couldn’t see my future?” I responded warily. 

“No,” she paused, winking at me. “I told you that I had trouble seeing it, not that I wasn’t able to.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, completely taken aback by all of this new information. I was starting to believe that my brain was unable to actually process it correctly; I was surprisingly calm for someone who had spent the last week learning about the existence of bloodthirsty vampires and shape-shifting mutants. 

“Don’t look so nervous,” Alice giggled. “I promise you’ll have loads of fun if you ease up a little, okay?”

** _Run. _ **

“Okay,” I mumbled, my shoulders slumping in submission. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I wouldn’t be able to relax under the same roof as Edward Cullen.

“He won’t be around,” I heard her chirp. 

“What did you say?” I squeaked. 

“Edward won’t be around, Bella. I told him that he’d better give you some space after what happened on Thursday,” she informed me, her voice uncharacteristically flat. 

“Get out of my head, Alice,” I muttered. 

“I can’t help it, Bella. Whenever you’re around, I see my future self responding to the things you say. I’ll always be one step ahead of you, no matter how hard I try,” she protested. 

“That sounds kind of scary,” I admitted. 

“It can be,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders. 

I didn’t reply, and although she refrained from making any more attempts at conversation, I couldn’t help but stare at her out of the corner of my eye. I noticed that, after several minutes of silence, she began to gnaw absentmindedly at her plump lower lip, just as I did when I was nervous or overwhelmed. 

“You can tell me about it,” I offered shyly. “Um, if you want to that is.”

Alice took a deep breath. “Bella, I saw Tyler Crowley’s accident a few minutes before it happened. That’s why Edward was able to reach you in time to push you out of the way. He heard my thoughts from across the parking lot,” she murmured.

** _You killed them. _ **

“Thank you,” I whispered, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. I noticed that her fingertips had left permanent indentations in the delicate leather that covered the steering wheel. “I didn’t realize that you cared about me enough to save my life.”

“Both Edward and I care about you very much,” she admitted softly. “I’m sorry that he isn’t able to show it like I am.” 

I felt my chest tighten at the sound of her words. “If he cares about me so much, then why … I don’t understand why he’s so abrasive, Alice.”

She sighed deeply. “Bella, when Edward first met you, he was drawn in by the scent of your blood. It  _ sung  _ to him all throughout class, and he had to fight not to kill you then and there. 

That’s why he treated you with such a great deal of hostility when you first met. It’s also why he continues to distance himself from you. He is trying his best not to attack you,” she grimaced, her tone unusually serious.

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

I couldn’t help but unravel a little at the sound of her words. Hysteria began to simmer inside of my chest, and I had to clench my teeth and ball up my fists to keep from screaming, or crying, or both.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered. “What is it about my blood that, um …  _ sings _ … to Edward?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s actually rather uncommon, to be honest. A vampire can live hundreds of years without encountering their singer, so we have very limited knowledge on the subject.”

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“Oh,” I said again. I was too overwhelmed to come up with an actual response to this new information I had been given. 

Thankfully, Alice seemed to sense my discomfort. She remained uncharacteristically silent for the remainder of our journey, and I spent those precious moments trying to calm my nerves by closing my eyes and focusing on the sound of her breathing combined with the whirring of the engine and the humming of the radio. 

Unfortunately, my calmness dissipated when I felt Alice bring the Volvo to a screeching halt. My eyes flew open, and a shrill cry left my lips. 

“We’re here!” She squealed, patting me on the shoulder with gusto.

“Cool,” I muttered, unable to sound enthusiastic after having almost been catapulted through the windshield of her car. 

Alice seemed unaffected by my moodiness. She leapt out of the driver’s seat and vanished in a blur. In less than a second, I heard her tapping at my window. 

“Christ,” I yelped. “Can you act human?”

She opened my door and began tugging impatiently at my seat belt. “Bella, I have no memory of being human. So no, probably not even if I tried,” she admitted. 

A pang of guilt reverberated throughout my body. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t know.”

“I know,” she smiled. “I had already forgiven you before you said it. Now come on,” she whined. 

I couldn’t help but smile at her back as she led me towards the Cullen house, which was every bit as spectacular as one would expect from a family as gorgeous as they were. It was at least twice the size of Charlie’s. It even rivaled the sprawling, luxurious mansions that Renée had dragged me to see during a spontaneous, overpriced trip to Beverly Hills.

Alice grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. Her hand was freezing, but I clung to it for dear life as she dragged me through the front door and into a grand foyer. “I’m going to introduce you to Esme,” she informed me. 

“Okay,” I nodded, allowing her to pull me in the direction of another room. I couldn’t help but imagine her as an adorable, bossy puppy that insisted on pulling her owner around by the leash. Only, I was certain that she was stronger and faster than a full-grown Rottweiler. 

She led me into a beautifully-furnished kitchen that resembled something out of a cooking magazine. In the center of the room was an equally gorgeous woman whose bright eyes and dazzling smile made me love her immediately. Every part of her was warm and inviting, from the honey-colored tendrils of hair that cascaded around her shoulders to the small but noticeable gap between her two front teeth. 

“Bella, this is Esme,” Alice beamed. 

“I am so happy you’re here, Bella,” she informed me, her voice a gentle hum. “I made you some pasta, just in case you get hungry. You’re not allergic to anything, right?”

“N-no. Thank you so much. You really … I mean, you didn’t have to,” I stammered. 

“I promise, it’s no trouble. It’s just that I don’t really get the chance to cook very often,” she smiled sheepishly.

“I’m sure that it’ll taste amazing,” I assured her, flashing the biggest and most genuine smile that I could muster. 

“I’ll warm up a plate for you,” she said, her eyes shining. “In the meantime, I think Alice is itching to show you upstairs.”

“Thank you,” I said again. Then I glanced down at the girl, who was tugging at my sleeve impatiently. “Lead the way.”

She yipped victoriously before dragging me out of the kitchen and up a flight of stairs. We moved so quickly that I had to stop and catch my breath at the top. Alice, of course, was completely unphased. 

“Rose and Emmett have a suite down the hall,” she informed me. “Carlisle and Esme are right across from them, and Edward’s room is right over there.” She pointed in the direction of a smaller room, whose door was slightly ajar. From around the corner, I could just barely make out a comfy-looking futon that was littered with magazines and dusty novels. 

“Can I see your room?” I asked her, trying in vain to distract myself from the anxiety and discomfort that always seemed to accompany thoughts of Edward Cullen. 

“Of course, silly. That’s why I brought you upstairs.” Alice wrapped her left arm around both of my stiff shoulders and guided me in towards her bedroom door, which was held open by a small, heart-shaped statue. 

As soon as I entered the room, I immediately became transfixed by the sight in front of me. The southernmost wall was made entirely out of glass panels, giving me a perfect view of the lush forest, which seemed almost ethereal when viewed from inside the spacious, brightly-lit bedroom.

Alice must have seen my awe-filled stare, because she let out a good-natured chuckle and led me over to her massive feather mattress. “Sit,” she commanded me before blurring across the room and disappearing into what I could only assume was an equally luxurious bathroom. 

After a few moments, she reappeared and leapt onto the bed with ease. I couldn’t help but stare into her eyes as she seized one of my clammy hands and began to abuse my gnarly, hangnail-ridden fingernails with a glass file. “These nails look like they’ve never seen a file in their life,” she quipped. 

“Because they haven’t,” I shrugged. “I used to bite them down to the cuticle when I lived with my mom. She kept trying to force me to get them done at this salon in Phoenix, but I would always talk her out of it.”

“Why would she force you to do something that you didn’t like?” Alice frowned. 

“She didn’t want me going out with ugly-looking nails,” I shrugged. “She said it was embarrassing.”

“Do  _ you  _ feel embarrassed when you go out, Bella?” She tossed the file across the room, and I watched in awe as it landed inside a jar full of makeup brushes and other utensils. 

“Only sometimes,” I admitted before tearing my eyes away from the spectacle. “But only because I’m constantly tripping over my own shoelaces.” 

Alice giggled. “You are a bit of a klutz, no offense. But I think it’s kind of charming, actually. Now hold still while I paint your nails,” she ordered. 

“How is it charming?” I scoffed. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing endearing about my bruised knees and bloody, busted elbows.

“Well,” she hesitated, scrunching her nose as though she were deep in thought, “I feel like that’s part of what makes you human, you know? I know this may sound a bit silly, but I always wondered what it feels like to be human,” she admitted. 

“It’s not silly,” I assured her. “By the way, I really like this color.” It was a deep, emerald green that reminded me of the trees outside her window. 

She smirked. “Remember when I picked you up this morning? I told you that you were going to love the shade I picked out for you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I grinned, suddenly feeling more at ease than I had in a long time. 

Suddenly, I heard a light tapping on the door frame, followed by the booming laugh of a man. 

“Emmy!” Alice’s smile widened even further. “Come over here and meet Bella!”

I turned around to wave at Emmett Cullen, who bounded over to the edge of the bed and offered me a firm handshake. 

“I see that Alice has made you her latest victim,” he chuckled, holding up my hand to examine my freshly-painted nails. 

Alice stuck her tongue out at her brother, who ruffled her hair good-naturedly. 

“Rose, Jasper and I just got back from Port Angeles. Esme sent me upstairs to fetch Bella for lunch,” he grinned.

“I’m almost done with Bella’s nails,” Alice beamed. 

“I still can’t believe you finally convinced this poor girl to let you make her over. I’ll tell you what, Bella. Rose and I have a PlayStation set up in the living room if you ever get bored of playing dress up,” he informed me. “Just prepare to get your ass handed to you at Mario Kart.”

“Deal,” I grinned, giving him a shy thumbs up.

Alice shooed him away so that she could finish my nails, which somehow looked a million times better after only thirty minutes of maintenance. She eventually allowed me to venture downstairs after I promised her that I would walk with my hands stretched out in front of me like a zombie. 

“You better not ruin my handiwork,” she growled at me on our way down the stairs. “I’ll shovel pasta in your mouth if I have to.”

Feeling playful, I stuck out my tongue and rolled my eyes at her before waving my arms above my head as though I had tripped.

Only, I did actually fall over. I landed like a sack of potatoes at the bottom of the steps, bruising my tailbone in the process. I managed to preserve my manicure by keeping my hands clasped above my head, but my pride was blasted to smithereens the moment my rear end made contact with the hard wooden floor. 

“I’m okay,” I grunted to Alice, who did nothing but squeak in response. 

However, another Cullen spoke up in her stead. “We can’t be certain you’re alright until Carlisle examines you,” came Edward's smooth reply. “Please remain still for the time being.”

** _Run. _ **

My eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. However, the terror did not end there. My stomach rolled and did a flip flop when I caught sight of not one, not two, but seven vampires staring down at me. Edward looked absolutely infuriated, whereas Rosalie and Jasper looked bored. Alice, Esme, and Emmett were fretting over me and wringing their hands whilst staring helplessly at the final witness, whose spotless white lab coat read Carlisle Cullen, M.D.

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“Hello, Bella,” he greeted me, his voice soft and smooth. “It is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, although I wish it were under slightly better circumstances.”

Edward growled. “Now isn’t the time for humor, Carlisle.”

** _Run away, stupid. _ **

The doctor smiled up at his son, who looked as though he’d swallowed a lemon. “Edward, she is perfectly fine. Her heart rate spiked temporarily due to shock, but it has returned to normal. Her pupils are the correct size, and I gather that she is completely alert. Would you say that part is true, Bella?”

“Yes,” I replied smoothly. “Can I sit up now?”

“Of course,” he chuckled. “If you’d like, I can help you over to the kitchen table. I was told that your lunch is waiting for you there.”

I thanked Carlisle before grabbing his outstretched hand. He hoisted me up off of the ground and helped to steady me as I slowly made my way over to the dinner table. 

“It’s okay if you’re no longer hungry,” Esme assured me, her voice unusually high-pitched and anxious. 

“No, I’m actually famished,” I assured her. “This smells amazing.”

“I’m so glad,” she whispered, and I could have sworn I saw her lip quiver. “I can’t … well, I can’t exactly smell or taste things like you can, and … I was worried that I spoiled the entire thing when I added the garlic cloves.” 

I took a medium-sized bite of pasta. It was laden with sausage, garlic, and a hearty sauce that was both savory and spicy. “This is incredible,” I sighed happily. 

I looked up just in time to see a massive smile spread across Esme’s face. Beside her, the other Cullens fidgeted nervously, acting as though they weren’t watching me wolf down an entire plate of pasta. Even Rosalie looked as though she might have been staring, although she hid her curiosity under a mask of contempt. 

I blushed at first, not appreciating the unwanted and unexpected attention. However, I suddenly recalled what Alice had said previously about envying humans for their humanity, and I wondered if my sauce-covered lips were somehow charming to the Cullens the same way my clumsiness was to Alice.

Finally, after several long, awkward minutes, I finished my pasta and scraped the plate clean with my fork before glancing over at Alice, who was staring at me expectantly.

“It’s almost time for me to bring Bella home. She’s meeting up with another friend later,” she informed her family. 

“I can stay if you’d like some help with the dishes,” I told Esme, whose face was still shining from my earlier compliments on her cooking. 

“No, you go on ahead,” she said, giving my shoulder a tender squeeze. “Please enjoy the rest of your day, and consider paying us another visit in the near future.”

“You’re always welcome here,” added Carlisle. 

“Of course she’ll come back,” Alice assured them.

“Let me guess. You’ve seen it?” I asked her. 

“No,” she sighed happily. “I just  _ know. _ ”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Leave me a comment and tell me where you think this is going.


	13. Chapter XIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I have most of the rest of this installment written out and ready to go, so it should be completed by the end of next month!

**Chapter XIII.**

And one day we will die  
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea  
But for now we are young  
Let us lay in the sun  
And count every beautiful thing we can see

~

Neutral Milk Hotel | In the Aeroplane Over the Sea  
  


* * *

  
Alice and I had just barely made it onto the main road when she slammed her foot onto the brake and sent us screeching to a halt. I stared up into the rearview mirror and saw that Edward was rushing after us, his eyes wide with horror.

** _Run. _ **

She pulled over and sighed dramatically before rolling down the window. “Edward, what’s gotten into you?” 

“Bella,” he whimpered, “I am so very sorry, but I cannot allow you to return home until you promise not to step foot on the Quileute reservation.”

** _Run. _ **

“Bella, you failed to mention that this _ Jake _is one of Sam Uley’s pups,” Alice said quietly. She didn’t appear nearly as horrified as her brother, but I detected a hint of worry in her voice. 

“He’s _ not _ ,” I insisted angrily. “Jacob has _ nothing _to do with Sam Uley or his pack.”

“Is he _ not _ the son of William Black, one of the tribe’s esteemed elders?” Edward’s voice was dry and bitter, like finely-aged wine. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

My eyes wandered over to Alice, whose expression was that of pure, unadulterated guilt. I remembered suddenly that not everyone was shielded from Edward’s extraordinary powers of the mind. 

“Who I hang out with is, quite frankly, none of your business. That goes for the both of you,” I added, causing her to flinch. 

Edward remained unconvinced. “Be that as it may, someone must look after you and ensure that you are protected. I am truly sorry, but I cannot allow you to endanger yourself by fraternizing with werewolves.” 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“So what, you’ll follow me everywhere and monitor my every move? Have you lost your mind?” I shouted. 

Beside me, Alice whimpered under her breath. “Bella, I’m so sorry. This is for your own good.”

“If you don't take me home right now, then I will never speak to you again,” I snarled at her. 

** _Run. _ **

Something must have clicked inside of her head, because Edward reached into the open window and tried to grab hold of the steering wheel. However, she shoved his hands away before slamming her foot against the gas pedal. 

I turned around and watched Edward double over and clutch his chest as though he were gasping for air. Alice must’ve been doing the same, because her wide, terror-filled eyes remained glued to the rear-view mirror. 

“Bella, you have to believe me when I say that I had absolutely no idea that he would try to follow us out of the house like that. He chose to do it within the blink of an eye,” she whimpered. 

“I was just beginning to trust you,” I hissed.

“You _ can _ trust me,” she replied weakly. 

** _Run. _ **

“Apparently not, seeing as how you just tried to convince me that I didn’t know what was best for me, and that I wasn’t able to take care of myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Alice whispered. “You don’t have to forgive me, but I hope you will.”

“Don’t you_ know _ already?” I grumbled bitterly. 

She shook her head sadly. “I told you before, I can’t see anything you say or do independently. I only know how myself and others choose to respond to those actions. 

“Right now, I can see my future self earning back your trust. However, I can also see myself dealing with the outcome of my losing it forever. I won’t know for sure until you’ve made up your mind.”

I didn’t reply, and she didn’t try to speak for the remainder of the ride home. I kept glancing into the rearview mirror to see if Edward was behind us, but it appeared as though he too had decided to leave me alone. 

When Alice pulled into Charlie’s driveway, I gave her a curt nod and squared my shoulders before climbing out of the car and slamming the front door behind me. 

* * *

After spending several hours crying angrily under the shield that was my purple duvet, I managed to redress myself in a high-necked T-shirt and shorts, complete with a flannel that I had stolen out of Charlie’s closet sometime during middle school. Then, without much enthusiasm, I tripped down the stairs and climbed into my beloved tin can of a truck. 

I endeavored to preserve what remained of my good mood by taking the long route to Jacob’s place. However, I remained on high alert the entire drive, not wanting to let my guard down in case Edward reappeared and tried to stop me from reaching my destination. 

Thankfully, I arrived uninterrupted and unscathed, and I was greeted by Jake’s smiling face. I could only assume that he had run to meet me after hearing the rattling of my engine from over a mile away. 

“Bells! You made it.” 

I didn’t respond, only gestured for him to catch me as I leapt out of the driver’s seat of my truck. He did so with ease, only he didn’t put me down. His arms encircled my waist, and I felt his hot breath against my forehead as he buried his face in my hair. 

“Missed you,” he sighed happily.

“You saw me like, last week,” I giggled. 

He grunted before putting me down and ruffling my hair with his oversized palm. “Can I drive? It’ll probably make things easier,” he said. 

“You don’t even have your license,” I teased him before handing over my keys. 

He stuck his tongue out at me before pushing me up into the passenger’s seat. “Whatever, grandma.”

Within a couple of minutes, we were on the road again. Luckily enough, the ride to First Beach was short, albeit a bit bumpy. Despite my teasing him relentlessly about not being old enough to drive, Jacob navigated the roads with great ease, and I was able to fully relax for the first time in several hours. 

Within a few minutes, I caught sight of a sandy cove that had been overtaken by a small crowd of hooting, hollering teenagers. I immediately recognized Quil Ateara by his goofy grin and short, curly hair. I hadn’t seen him in years, but he smiled and waved at me excitedly before running to go get Embry, who was talking to a couple of Quileute girls by the bonfire. 

“Everyone’s really happy that you’re here,” Jacob mused. “Especially Quil. He hasn’t shut up about you since I said you were coming with me.”

I couldn’t help but smile happily at the thought of being missed by people that I hadn’t seen in years. I unbuckled my tattered seatbelt and slid out of the truck before linking arms with Jacob like we had done when we were children. He poked my stomach with his thumb before pulling me towards Quil and Embry, who had migrated to the edge of the fire pit. 

“Hey, guys. Look who I brought! Bella, you remember these two fools,” he smirked. 

“Aw, yeah! Bella’s here, guys! The party can start,” Quil yelled, pumping his fist in the air. I guessed by the half-empty bottle in his hand that he was well on his way to being drunk. 

Embry didn’t say anything, but he did give me a small wave and a warm, friendly smile. Like me, he had always been the shy, quiet, and observant type. 

“You guys want a drink?” Quil asked, waggling his eyebrows. “We’ve got cocktails and mocktails, but the mock has a little cock in it, if you know what I mean.”

“Dude,” Embry groaned. “Shut the fuck up, man. He’s told that joke to like … every single person that’s shown up.”

“You’re just jealous,” he informed him, but the huge, lopsided grin he wore suggested that he knew how ridiculous he sounded. “Anyway, what’ll it be, party people?”

Jacob, who was trying his best not to burst out laughing, signaled that he wanted a bottle of whatever was in the cooler. 

“I’ll have whatever Jake has,” I shrugged. 

“Bold,” he chuckled before leaving to grab us our drinks. 

“I didn’t know you were a drinker,” Jacob said, raising his thick eyebrows at me in surprise. 

I shrugged. “It’s a party, and I’m in high school. I may as well.”

“Just know that you don’t have to, okay? No one is going to pressure you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Yeah,” Embry chimed in. “We’re all super chill, and everyone looks out for one another. Shit, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tucked Ateara’s inebriated ass into bed. He always asks me to give him a hug and a forehead kiss before I leave.” 

“That was one time,” the aforementioned drunkard shouted from several feet away.

“By once, he means five times at least,” Jacob informed me, shaking his head good-naturedly. 

I smiled weakly, although I didn’t respond. I had spent the past few minutes scanning the crowd for more familiar faces, and my eyes had finally landed on one such individual. Sam Uley was standing towards the edge of the crowd, and he was looking right at me. 

** _Run. _ **

“I’ll be right back,” I squeaked. 

I strolled casually through the small mass of bodies and over to Sam, whose eyes were pinned to the stiff, high-necked T-shirt that concealed my bruised neck and shoulders. I watched them narrow before fluttering shut, as though he were fighting to stay awake.

“Hi.” I did my best to continue faking nonchalance, although I could feel the nervous sweat collecting under my armpits. Something about the stiffness of his shoulders and the tightness of his jaw had put me on edge the moment I laid eyes on him. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“You smell like leech,” he grimaced, his eyes fluttering open a tad bit before snapping shut again. 

“Alice Cullen kinda kidnapped me,” I informed him. 

“She _ what _?” Sam growled. 

“Not like that,” I assured him, scoffing at my own poor choice of words. “She kinda just … showed up at my house this morning and invited me over to her house.”

“Let me guess,” he sighed. “You felt as though it would be rude to turn down such a thoughtful invitation, so you went along with it.”

“Sounds about right,” I shrugged. 

“You need to stay away from the Cullens,” Sam gritted. “No matter their diet, they are still highly dangerous.”

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“I know,” I assured him. “We’re not buddy-buddy or anything. I guess I just didn’t feel like saying no to her.”

“Well, grow a backbone,” he snapped. Then, after shaking his head and sighing, he opened his eyes a bit. I realized that he really was about to pass out, undoubtedly due to exhaustion. 

“Are you alright?” I asked carefully. 

His red-rimmed eyes softened for a moment. “I’m very tired, but I smelled a leech and had to ensure that these kids weren’t in any danger. Turns out, their scent stuck to you like glue. You reek,” he smiled humorlessly.

** _Run. _ **

“Thanks for looking out for me,” I whispered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with guilt. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“Watch yourself, Bella,” he said, although he sounded gentle rather than threatening. 

“I will,” I replied. “I should get back to Jake and the others.”

He nodded before sprinting over to the edge of the woods and disappearing from view. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was heading home to sleep, or if he would spend the next several hours forcing his body and mind to remain awake. 

I stood at the edge of the woods for a few moments and tried to calm my anxiety before returning to the bonfire. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget the tiredness that had marred Sam’s features. 

I heard Jacob’s laughter from across the beach, and I couldn’t help but smile, if only for a second. However, dread soon curdled the happiness that was brewing within me; I couldn’t help but imagine Jacob’s face hardening and aging like Sam’s had in only a matter of weeks. 

Jacob. My best friend, my ray of sunshine. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being unhappy. 

Slowly but surely, I made my way over to him and our friends, who greeted me with big smiles and a cold drink. I took a few sips before gulping down a quarter of the bottle. It tasted like fermented lemonade with a hint of lavender.

“This is delicious,” I informed Quil, who was well on his way to finishing a fourth bottle. 

“Thanks,” he slurred, giving me a massive grin. “I actually bottled it myself. It’s a family recipe.”

I took one last gulp before reaching for another bottle; he had been kind enough to bring several with him after his last trip to the cooler. 

Unfortunately, my enjoyment was rather short-lived. About halfway through the second bottle, my stomach began to churn even more intensely than it had been before.

My discomfort must have been obvious, because I felt Jacob’s warm hand brush against the small of my back. “You okay, Bells?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but all that came out was vomit. It splattered all over Jacob’s mud-caked boots and my own filthy sneakers. 

“Oh my god,” I moaned. “Jacob, I’m s-so sorry.”

** _Stupid. _ **

He didn’t look angry, only scared and a bit confused. He and the other boys immediately scrambled to their feet and began fussing over me; Quil handed me an ice-cold bottle of water, and Embry tied my hair back with one of his elastics while Jacob dabbed at my clammy forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. 

“Shit, I didn’t think you’d had that much to drink,” he said softly. “Are you feeling okay? Do you think you’re gonna puke again?” 

** _Stupidstupidstupid. _ **

“No, I’m fine now. I was feeling a little nauseous earlier. It’s not because of the alcohol,” I assured him. 

“Do you think you can walk over to the truck, honey? I’m gonna drive you back over to my place,” he murmured. 

“No, I want to stay here,” I grumbled. “I don’t want to ruin everything just by being sick.”

** _Stupid. _ **

“You’re not ruining anything,” he insisted. “If anything, you’re giving me a good excuse to watch the new Harry Potter movie for the third time.”

“It’s _ so _ good,” Quil drawled encouragingly. “Go watch it, Bella. And drink plenty of water, just in case it’s the alcohol that’s bothering you.”

** _Stupidstupidstupid. _ **

“Okay,” I sniffed meekly. “I guess I’ll see you guys later.”

Embry and Quil both gave me sympathetic pats on the back before sending me off with an encouraging wave. 

Once we arrived back at Jacob’s place, he insisted on carrying me all the way from the truck and into the tiny living room, which appeared to have been kept somewhat tidy since my last visit. Once he had propped me up on the couch, he covered me in blankets and demanded that I nurse a tall glass of water while he made a huge bowl of buttery popcorn. 

I was just about halfway through my glass when I heard Billy’s wheelchair scraping against the floorboards. 

** _Run. _ **

“Hello,” he greeted me. “I was hoping you’d stop by this evening.”

“Um, thank you. But why?” 

“Sam told me that you paid a visit to the Cullens this morning.” He eyed me warily. 

“Um, Dr. Cullen’s … daughter … she invited me over, and I didn’t want to say no,” I admitted, my face growing hot with embarrassment. 

** _Runrunrunrunrunrun. _ **

“How long did you spend with them, and how do you feel currently?” 

“Um, a couple of hours. And I’m a bit nauseous. I have been all day,” I added quickly. I wasn’t sure how Billy would react to my telling him that I had been drinking. 

He sighed angrily. “It’s because of _ them _ , Bella. You have been _ poisoned _ by them.”

** _Run. _ **

“How?” I yelped. “And why?”

He frowned at my sudden outburst, reminding me that Jacob was within earshot. I blushed deeply and lowered my voice: “If they wanted to kill me, they could have just done it. They wouldn’t have to poison me,” I whispered. 

“I’m not referring to _ actual _ poison, Bella. The Cullens may be … less _ barbaric _ than others of their kind, but they are still predators, and you are still their prey. There is something about them, something that we have never been able to fully understand …” He trailed off. 

Jacob returned before I could prod him for more information. He placed a bowl of popcorn in my lap before wiping his buttery hands all over the front of his jeans. 

“Hello, son. How was the bonfire?” Billy asked. 

“It was cool,” he shrugged. “Bella didn’t feel well, though. So I decided I’d bring her back here. We’re gonna watch Prisoner of Azkaban.”

“Sounds like a plan. You kids better have fun,” he ordered playfully. 

“We will,” said Jake. “Want some popcorn? Low-carb butter.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” 

Billy was the picture of cheerfulness as he plucked several buttery morsels from the bowl, and Jacob didn’t seem to notice the way my hands shook when I dipped my hand back into the bowl as well. 

I couldn’t help but wonder if we had always been this good at lying to those we loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’m really enjoying all the comments you guys have been leaving! If you’re just now stopping by, and you’ve never left me a comment, I’d love to hear from you! You certainly don’t have to, but I enjoy them so much. 
> 
> Also, I am eternally grateful to all of my return commenters / followers who encourage me to continue writing this fic. 
> 
> Truthfully, I have not been feeling very emotionally stable; my grandfather just got out of the ICU after nearly dying of pneumonia. He tested negative for COVID, but he has an underlying health condition that is causing these problems, plus a myriad of other symptoms that are smaller but still scary. Additionally, my parents are separating, which has been pretty difficult for me as a young twenty-something. This fic has become somewhat cathartic for me as a writer and an artist.
> 
> If you’re reading this, and you’re also going through a tough time, I want you to know that you’re not alone. As cliche as it sounds, I want you to search for little bits of sunshine and hold onto them for when you need them the most. I love you, and I know you can do it. 
> 
> xo, GentleOpheliac (@belovedisabella on tumblr)


	14. Chapter XIV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh ... it has been MONTHS since I updated this FF. I promise to explain myself in the endnotes, but for now, I hope you enjoy!

“Um, _hello_? Earth to Bella,” snapped Jessica. 

I looked up from my half-eaten tray of lasagna to see that she and Angela were looking at me expectantly, their eyes brimming with curiosity. 

I swallowed a half-chewed morsel in one massive gulp before wiping my lips with a napkin. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if you’ve thought about who you want asking you to prom,” she whined. “Or do you want to be the only girl at Forks High that shows up without a date?”

_ **Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. ** _

“Oh. Um, I’m not going. It’s … um, it’s not really my scene.”

“Um, _please_ tell me you’re joking,” snapped Jessica. “Angela, she’s joking, right?”

Angela shrugged. “Jess, some people aren’t into that sort of thing.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ang. It’s our _junior_ fucking _prom_. You know, the _most important night_ in all of our high school careers?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I muttered. 

“Well, then you’re clearly out of your mind,” she snapped. “Bella, there’s no way in _hell_ I’m letting you weasel your way out of this.” 

** _Run. Run. Run. _ **

I looked up from my tray and met her furious gaze. “Um ... I can’t even get _myself_ down the stairs in heels. So, uh ... good luck, I guess.”

Suddenly, I heard a familiar burst of laughter from several tables away. My stomach churned as I turned to see Emmett Cullen looking straight at me. I met his gaze, and he flashed me a giddy, lop-sided grin before squeezing Rosalie’s shoulder and whispering something in her ear. The rest of his family did not look up at me. Their eyes remained downcast, and I swore that I could see Alice and Edward clenching and unclenching their jaws in unison. 

_ **Run away, stupid. ** _

Beside me, I heard Jessica snicker. “Oh, what was that, Bella? I could have sworn I heard you say that prom wasn’t really your thing.”

Slowly but surely, I managed to look away from the Cullens and over at Jessica, who fixed me with an infuriatingly sweet smile. “It’s not my thing. I hate wearing dresses and, um ... I’m a terrible dancer. Seriously, I have two left feet.”

_**Run away, stupid.**_

She snorted. “You act like this isn’t high school, Bella. Nobody cares if you’re a total klutz; they’ll be too busy getting drunk and arguing over which hotels to book for the night.”

“If it sucks that bad, then why are you so hellbent on making me go?” I grumbled.

“Well … it is sort of a right of passage,” Angela offered thoughtfully. “Ever since I can remember, I’ve dreamed about getting asked to prom by my crush. Plus, I’ve always wanted to go to one of the after-prom parties. I hear they’re really fun.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a blast,” I assured her. 

“Oh, we will,” grumbled Jess. “That includes you, Swan. I am not going to let you miss out on one of the most important nights of your life.” 

I opened my mouth to argue, but Angela stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder.

“What Jessica means to say is, we really hope you change your mind and decide to come. Also, would you be down to go shopping in Port Angeles this weekend? The two of us are going to look for dresses, but we can stop at other places if you want.” 

“That sounds cool. I’ll ask Charlie if I can go,” I promised her.

Jessica continued grumbling for the next several minutes, but she eventually gave in, albeit temporarily. The conversation shifted from me to Mike Newton, who Jessica believed was sure to ask her to prom.

“I don’t know what he’s waiting for,” she sighed. “I mean, have I _not_ made it _painfully_ obvious that I am head over heels for him?”

“I’m sure he’ll ask you later today,” I assured her. “What about you, Angela?”

“What about me?” The bespectacled girl suddenly seemed more interested in picking at the grime-coated strap of her backpack than talking about boys, dresses, and tacky string lights. I couldn’t fault her for that. 

“Oh, um ... you said you’ve thought about who you want asking you to prom. I was just wondering ... you know, if you had your eye on anyone in particular.”

“Oh, Eric’s going to ask her _any_ day now” Jess smirked.

Angela’s expression darkened. “No, he’s not. It’s _not_ like that, Jess.”

“Sure it’s not,” the brunette snickered. “It’s not like I heard him telling Matt from trigonometry that he thought you’d look absolutely _breathtaking_ in red.”

“Did he really say that?” 

“Yeah. I mean, I’m paraphrasing. I think he used the word _smoking_, but my choice of words makes the whole thing sound way more romantic, don’t you think?” 

Angela did not look pleased. Rather, she looked a bit pale. I reached out to grasp her shoulder, but she stood up and quickly began gathering her things. “I’ve gotta go. Bells, don’t forget to ask Charlie about this weekend, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promised. “Bye, Ange.”

Once she was out of earshot, Jessica let out a dramatic sigh. “Gosh, I was just trying to hype her up. Do you think I overdid it?”

I shrugged. “She might have gotten overwhelmed. I’ll text her later.”

“I guess I will too,” she sighed again. “God, why does everyone take everything so seriously? What’s the worst that could happen? I mean, it’s not like any of us are going to live forever.”

* * *

The sound of the lunch bell froze the blood in my veins and turned my stomach into a knot of wriggling snakes. I dragged my feet all the way to biology, and when I arrived at Mr. Molina’s door, I spent the better part of five minutes trying to work up the courage to enter the classroom. 

_**Run** **away,** **s****tupid**_. 

Of course, my lab partner looked completely unphased at the sight of me. He regarded me silently as I deposited my backpack under my chair and began arranging my utensils, and I was shocked to discover that I could hear the sound of his gentle breathing beside me. It didn’t seem right that he would be doing something so ... _human_.

“It’s a habit,” he whispered. His voice was so soft, I doubted anyone else had heard him.

“I thought you couldn’t read my thoughts,” I muttered accusingly.

“I can’t. I just had a gut feeling that’s what you were wondering about,” he shrugged. 

At the front of the classroom, Mr. Molina was frantically searching for something in one of his many desk drawers. “Apologies for the wait, students. I seem to have misplaced my pointer.”

“Does that mean no boring lecture?” A male voice hollered from the back of the room,

“Fear not, Mr. Casey,” the man tutted. “I would sooner quit than force you to go a single day without one of my _boring_ lectures.”

His response was met with a chorus of groans, as well as a few boos from the very back of the room. 

Edward chuckled beside me. “You know, I’ve spent the better part of my ... er, my _life_ … in high school. It never seems to change.”

“Are you really making small talk?” I snapped.

“I suppose I am,” he shrugged.

I didn’t respond, although I felt the sharpest of retorts sizzling on the tip of my tongue. I refused to give in and once again give Edward Cullen the satisfaction.   
  
Thankfully, I didn’t have to hold my tongue for very long. Mr. Molina managed to locate his spare pointer at the bottom of a mostly-empty drawer, and, despite near-countless protests from the back of the room, wasted no time jumping headfirst into the day’s lecture. It was interesting enough that I was almost able to forget about Edward. _Almost, but not quite_. As soon as the bell rang, I sprang from my seat and dove into the crowded hallway.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to escape. Not entirely, at least. I was at my locker swapping my biology textbook for a set of spiral notebooks when Mike Newton sauntered up to me, his hands shoved in the pockets of his dark blue jeans. 

“What’s up?” I did my best to sound friendly, although I wanted nothing more than to be left alone, at least until I got to my next class. I made a mental note to invest in a pair of earbuds.

“Nothing much,” he grinned. “Uh, just thought I’d say hi. Here, let me help.” He snatched my books out from under my arm and made a show of tucking them against his chest. 

_ **Run.** _

“Uh, thanks.”

“No problem! So,” he continued, “got any plans this weekend?”

“Uh, not ... I’m going to visit some friends in La Push,” I said.

“Like, on the Res?”

“Yeah.” The truth was, I hadn’t intended on visiting La Push, but Mike certainly didn’t need to know that.

“Oh. Cool, I guess. Uh, what about prom? Got a date yet?”

_ **Run. ** _

“Um … no.”

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew that I should have lied. His face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, and he immediately began babbling: “That’s …wow, I’m honestly super shocked. I could have sworn that Cu ... I mean, some other guy had asked you already. Anyways, I was wondering if you would maybe -”

_ **Run. Run. Run. ** _

I saw a chance to save myself, and I ran with it. “Um, yeah. No one has asked me,” I interjected. “I’m thinking about staying home that night, or maybe catching a movie …with my dad. Um ... dances aren’t really my thing,” I smiled awkwardly. 

His smile quickly dimmed, and I could have sworn I saw a tear form in his left eye. I wanted to reach out and offer him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, but the last thing I wanted was for him to mistake my friendliness as a sign of interest. Instead, I opted for a weak grin and an awkward thumbs up.

“What about you? Have you asked anyone?” I was becoming more and more confident in my ability to play dumb.

“Well, I was going to, but -”

“Dude, that sucks. Maybe you should ask Jess! I hear she doesn’t have a date.”

Mike glowered, no doubt turned off by my refusal to indulge his obvious interest in me. At this point, I wasn’t sure I wanted him anywhere near one of my closest friends, but I wasn’t about to let her be disappointed either. 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I’ll ask her later today. See you, Bella.” He passed me my books before backing away slowly. I could have sworn I saw him shake his head before ducking into a half-empty classroom. 

* * *

The shrill clang of the final bell sent me sprinting down the hall and across the tarmac towards my truck. I didn’t want to risk another run-in with Mike, or worse, one of the Cullens. 

Luckily, everyone seemed engrossed in the happenings of their own lives. I draped my tired frame across the battered front seat of my truck and watched Edward’s shiny Volvo peel out of the parking lot and disappear in a cloud of smog. After a few moments, the rest of my classmates followed suit; their squeaky wheels and muffled stereos overwhelmed even the sound of my breathing. 

Eventually, I grew tired of the cacophony. I pulled behind a mustard-colored Jeep and whipped out my battered cellphone. I knew better than to text while driving, so I opted for a phone call: I quickly punched in one of the few numbers I knew by heart before turning onto the narrow highway. 

Turns out, Jacob was as prompt as ever when it came to answering the phone: “Hello?”

“Jake? It’s Bella,” I mumbled into the receiver. 

“Bells! I was hoping you’d call,” he laughed. “Are you driving home from school?”

“Yeah,” I affirmed. “Did you just get home?” Jacob lived only a short distance away from his own school; he’d always walked himself home so he didn’t have to take the bus. 

“Nah. I’ve been here all day. I woke up with a killer headache, so dad let me stay in bed,” he informed me. 

_ **No. Nononononononono. ** _

His words caused my heartbeat to spike and my throat to tighten painfully. I knew I was being paranoid, but I couldn’t convince myself that this wasn’t a huge deal. My stomach began to churn as I pictured _my_ Jacob howling in pain, his body contorting violently as he took on a new form … 

_ **Your fault. You killed them. ** _

“You there, Bells?”

“Um … yeah. Sorry, I zoned out for a second,” I stammered. 

“You’re fine,” he assured me. “Anyways, what’s up with you? I’m guessing you’re feeling a bit better than you were on Saturday?”

_ **Stupid. Stupidstupidstupid. ** _

“Oh. Um … yeah,” I choked out. I couldn’t help but groan internally when I thought back to the events on the beach. I could only hope that Jake had been able to wash the vomit off his boots. 

“Good. I was a little worried, to be honest.”

_ **All your fault.   
** _

“Don’t worry about me,” I blurted. “Worry about yourself, or else I’ll have to come over and … um, I’ll have to come fight you.”

He chuckled. “As if I couldn’t take you down in an instant, noodle arms. But hey, you’re welcome to give it a shot.”

I huffed indignantly. “And to think … I was gonna ask you to ditch prom with me later this month. I guess I’ll keep my _noodle arms_ on this side of town, though.”

His chuckle transformed into a rumbling belly laugh. “Damn, Bella. Have I told you how much I missed you yet?”

_ **All you do is run away. ** _

I couldn’t help but stiffen a little at the sound of his words, but I managed to regain my composure with the help of one shaky breath. “So … does that mean you’re down to hang out that night?”

“Bella, I always want to hang out with you,” he admitted softly. 

_**Run away, stupid.**_

At that moment, I felt my palms become slick against the steering wheel as I wracked my brain for the appropriate response to his statement. After a moment, I managed to form a complete sentence: “It’s been a long time since we got pizza and rented movies. Um … unless there’s something else you’d rather do.” 

“Bella Swan, there is nothing I’d love more than to watch disgusting horror films with you until the crack of dawn,” he assured me. 

“Then I think we have ourselves a plan,” I smiled softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! It’s been a wild year, guys. This pandemic has taken a huge toll on me in a number of ways. I haven’t had the time or the energy required to complete projects, so this story had to be pushed towards the end of my list of priorities. However, I couldn’t abandon it altogether: You guys have left me so many likes and wonderful, supportive comments. The only way I can possibly repay you is to give you the content you’ve been waiting patiently for! 
> 
> This chapter was kind of a pain to write. I’ve been sitting on it for weeks at a time and then occasionally making tweaks until I put together something worth publishing. 
> 
> I won’t give you any spoilers, but I will say that there is some major foreshadowing in this chapter. I don’t think any of you are gonna guess what I may be hinting at, but I know you’ll love it! 
> 
> I hope the wait was worth it. I hope this makes quarantine a little more bearable. If not, feel free to leave suggestions!

**Author's Note:**

> Please follow my twilight-themed tumblr if you would like to see aesthetics, memes, and glimpses into my writing process! My URL is @belovedisabella and I will definitely follow you back if you are also on Twilightblr!
> 
> Also, I have created a spotify playlist for this fic that will be updated with the songs that you see at the beginning of every chapter. Here is the link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dewDy3mp17F0FUpQfYPYu


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